Feeling sad after transplant - (I'm new ... - Kidney Transplant

Kidney Transplant
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Feeling sad after transplant - (I'm new here)

Hi, this is my first post so I hope this is the right place to ask something like this.

I had a transplant almost 5 months ago and thought I would be super happy by now, especially after a year on dialysis. Instead I've been feeling quite sad and kind of like I'm in a rut. I'm a young college student and have always been athletic, so physically I've been recovering well but mentally and emotionally it's been so tough. I've tried getting professional help from therapists but that honestly hasn't worked. I just want to feel happy again, at least every once in awhile.

Any suggestions or advice for what I could do or what has helped other people that have gone through this would be very appreciated! Thank you so much in advance!

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First of all, congratulations on your transplant! We who have had them are really blessed. Reaching out on forums such as this was your first move in the right direction because you'll soon realize you are not alone. Between the process itself, the physical recovery, the thought of adhering to a regiment of medications, followup labs and doctor appointments, it's a very common response. I'm six years out and still sigh every time I fill my pill box!! You are young. You are strong. And you will get back your athleticism if you are patient. Every time I get into my "why me" mode, I remind myself that this is my "new normal." And it sure beats the alternative. We're all here for you to vent, scream and ask questions! You got this!!

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Thank you so much for the encouraging words!

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I agree with Chattycat it takes time and this site has help me a lot you will be talking to people in same boat and they can offer bery good advice 🙏 ill be 1 year post transplant on may 24th 😁 im still recouvering still a few med adjustments but im taking care of my health and especially my new buddy my hew kidney diet and moderate excersice play major roles in your recovery mand drink lots of water good luck🙏Stay strong 💪amd enjoy,your new found health 😝 my name is Dave😝

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Thanks Dave!

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Hi again steelers fan im canadian im a HABS FAN do youmlike hockey?😝

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Hi! Sorry for late reply but nah I don’t really watch hockey, I like basketball, football and American football

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Thats ok Hocky is a canadisn sport🇨🇦 The play off are on now 💪🙏😝

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You said you had tried therapy! Was your therapist from your Renal team or just a general therapist? I only ask this as I am 14 months in from transplant and due to issues beyond my control after surgery I now have PTSD and depression. I am working with the Renal psychologist to try get through this stage and it is helping unfortunately there is not a quick fix solution it is going to take time. I was in dialysis for four years and I miss the staff not the treatment. We were like a small family and that’s hard as well. All I can suggest is speak to your team about how you are felling never hide anything. Good luck hunny you will get there it is just going to take time x

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Thank you for taking the time to reply! She was from the renal team, she specializes in helping transplant patients

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Well explain to her your feeling no benefit from your sessions and maybe adding a low dose antidepressant may be the way forward. I’m sure if you be open and honest she in turn can try different techniques.x

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What is your prednisone dose? I am pre-transplant (hopefully this July), but had to take high-dose prednisone for 5 months as a teen. It was AWFUL. I experienced depression and anxiety. It would start to get better, but every time I tappered the dose it would get really bad. Eventually went on an anti-depressant to help me cope.

So glad to hear that you are being proactive and talking to your therapist. Sometimes a low-dose of medication allows you to benefit more from therapy as you can process things easier. Your team will evaluate your specific case. Best of luck, and don't lose hope. It does get better!

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Thank you for the kind words! I stopped prednisone a while ago I think, but wishing you the best for your transplant!!!

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Hi steelers fan! I can identify with 100% of what your feeling. After my transplant, your expected to recover instantly and skip out of bed every morning, sing with the birds in the forest like Cinderella. Well reality is the exact opposite. I had a really hard time adjusting. Even though I was grateful to be alive, I felt stuck in a rut. Paralyzed. Low energy. I did want to live any more. I think at least half of that was depression from meds, but also environmental circumstances such as my parents divorcing, My sisters husband cheated on her and I had to take care of 2 very young kids while they fought it out in court. I had to move in with my mom who was divorcing my dad after 40 years. My dad cheated on my mom and lied to both of us for 1 year. With a church lady of whom my family employed. I moved 6 hours away with my mom to San Diego and she had so much stuff, It filled the house with crap. For years. So it was a very stressful environment plus her constant need for attention. I became her husband. I lost all my friends and support from my friends. I had to start brand new in a new city. I also had the pressure of working right away to pay off student loans. But 4 years of dialysis prevented me from maintaining my career. No one hired me. I never want to go through that again. After 2 years I lost my kidney. Which put me back on to dialysis. I wanted to stop living, I fully blamed myself. Going back on dialysis after all that hope and everyone supporting you, being hopeful for you, really made me even more depressed. I ate Reeses pieces in bed for months. I gained 30 lbs. I tried to isolate from my mothers demands. It was total anxiety hell. I was paralyzed. And I took 200mg of Zoloft which I still take now. It did help a little bit and Im so glad for it. I was so frustrated and depressed I did feel well after transplant. I didn't want to disappoint anyone. I really just heatedly life and I felt like I was in a big black deep hole that I couldn't get out of.

What started to change things was dialysis helped me lose weight. I started to do some boat maintenance under the table. So washing small boats got me in the sun exercising. I was still depressed but I made myself sign up for sailing lessons and I gradually grew from there. I practiced 2x a week, I met people. I made friends, started to race locally. And I told people im on dialysis. And they accepted me. It was nice. They definitely didn't understand what im going through but they were nice and compassionate. Exercise and being outdoors was super hard to get motivated. But once I get going, It helps my mental status. I suggest starting there and getting on antidepressants. You might need to try a few different ones. But your GP can prescribe them. It helps to not feel so deeply. More flatline. Which I'll take flatline any day! Compared to the pain I was going through. I also found a therapist after I got rejected by a guy I liked. It took at least 6 weeks to actually get anywhere and trust her. But I only continued for a year as I felt I was doing all the talking and all the work. I might as well talk to myself in the mirror. And she was a chronic disease organ transplant therapist. I know not all therapist are duds. But With my medicare/ Medi-cal, it was hard to find a a good therapist since the reimbursement rate is 38$ an hour and very limited. But thats just me. Try it. If you don't like it, then stop. But you must try. For me, Medications work. Thats what genuinely helped. Plus exercise. Talking about your experience. And please be good to yourself! You have been through a major major operation! Listen to only how YOU feel. Nobody knows what your going through but you. And always put yourself first. If you want to lay in bed all day, then by all means you should do so! And never ever feel badly about it!

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Wow, I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through but thank you for sharing and for the good advice

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Hi, I too am a steelers fan. I had my transplant at UPMC after 2&1/2 yrs on dialysis. I sat in a chair , trying to drink 5 bottles of water a day for a good 6 weeks, I was transplanted 7 yrs ago. I think I had surviver guilt & the meds affected me drastically . Im a very happy person, but I was in a dark place for a few months too. The prednesone causes weight gain & makes me crave sugar& carbs. Even though I have a 6.2 A1C, I've put on 30 lbs. The meds definitly affect my brain function. Did transplant tell you that you have 80% chance of getting skin cancer? Stay out of the sun as much as you can. Your transplant was a gift from god , to be thankful for. Things will get better. I wish you the best of luck. I still run a trucking co. at age 68 & am thankful every day for my gift. They probably will reduce your meds after awhile & I hope that helps. Keep your head high, think of the best times,& keep pushing forward

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Thank you so much!!

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