At first I was SO hesitant to go on dialysis then I was sent to ICU because the toxins inside my body was pretty high. My creatinine was 20%, very scary. That's why I felt so heavy ! I find it so heavy putting my jacket & I can't even walk I'm trying to catch my breath inside the car opened the side mirror. I didn't know what I was up to! Things that you really don't know can be very scary! I was put on oxygen mask because I'm having shortness of breath! And the staff are doing their jobs to keep me alive! I was on the brink of dying ! That's very scary as I look back. I could just be gone in a snap because I don't know nothing abt. dialysis or maybe I'm on denial for awhile regarding my condition. There are moments I wish I've done different but everything already happened! Right now I'm trying to accept things, which was so very hard at first. I still the questions What if's I have done this or that? My situation that I don't like & scary at the same time is already in front of me! There is nothing I can do. I'm trying to accept my illness now slowly. I still have regrets every now & then And If only I could go back I wish I have done differently. But, hey it's been done I can't go back anymore ! Yeah, there are instances, moments that I just stop & think about I should have done to prevent me being SO sick. I'm not happy & proud about it! I call them professors, teachers the staff at the clinic. I call it "school" the facility that I go to lessen the anxiety, panic, nervousness & every emotions I'm feeling or I might feel every "D" session. I call it my "D" day just to lighten the day. There are still day that I don't wanna go to dialysis because everything is new to me & sometimes its hard to take everything in. At first the word "dialysis" scared the hell out of me because I don't know much about it. And now that I'm getting to know about the procedure I'm only scared a bit. Isn't scary cannulated & you see your blood coming out of the tube going round & round! It's very scary & you sat for like minimum 3 hours. It makes you sleepy & they let you watch tv to keep you busy. It's very new to me & I'm trying to get used to it. I don't like these weird feeling that I can't even explain. The feeling of you're well but it feels you're sick inside. Weird... Right ! I'm the only one whose feeling that. Hoping for a transplant soon. I wanna be normal again. Lord, help me !
Sincerely,
Sonia
Written by
Hopeful_kidney
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Hi sweetie!!!! You have to always stay upbeat. Accept what you cannot change. I'm sorry you went through that. Please, don't do that again. That would mean we would loose a sister in CHRIST.
PD is simple, I do PD manually, 4 times a day. I have been on it for 3 years. The other PD is the machine, this is where you are on a machine at night. But still, talk to a coordinate. Let him/her explain the types of dialysis you want. Make sure that it's your choice.
It was easy. I was worried when I first started, but I got the hand of it.
The 1st thing, no pets. Whatever room you chose has to sterile when It's time for the exchange, I make my room sterile 30 mins before the exchange. Always remember to put on your mask, wash your hands (3 min wash), if you have a table for the supplies that you will use daily, the extra needs to be put away til you need it and a comfortable chair. Read a book or listen to music or play cards because sometimes it can go really slow. Now I've asked for gloves and sanitizer from Fresenius and they are really good about giving me those items. What clinic will you be going to? You will be going twice a month.
Just remember to follow their instructions. I formed a bond with all the nurses and my doctor. If you can think of any thing else, just let me know.
Don't worry, like me, always ask questions. They will answer your questions.
No pets unless you count my 2 sons and my 2 nephews, 😁😁😁 😁😁
The pets have to stay out. They can no longer go in there. I'm sorry. You will have to LOVE on them when you come out. Your room has to be sterile at all times.
Please don't second guess yourself - there's nothing you could do to change the fact that your kidneys were failing. You just have to start to accept the fact that your life is different now and that dialysis will allow you the privilege to go on living. I went through this stage myself almost 2 years ago and I coped by feeling my fears and working through them with the help of the dialysis staff and my family and friends. i did the same as you, trying to learn about the dialysis process and learning how I could make it easier for myself. Now I use a numbing cream an hour before my treatment so it doesn't hurt when they put the needles into my fistula. It will be better if you follow the dialysis diet and don't gain too much fluid between treatments. Having to remove too much fluid leads to cramps and headaches during your treatment. You can learn an awful lot from your nurse and other staff and I encourage you to do so. You'll learn to take a few deep breathes to lessen anxiety and even find humor in weird situations you find yourself in! It all helps. And yes, do find out if you can be eligible for a transplant. It gives you a goal to work towards. We're here for you! Let us know how you're doing, ok?
HE will!!!!! I'm so sorry you are going through that. 😧😧😧
I wish I could say something to make you feel better about it. I am a Peritoneal patient. My dad was on Hemo. He went, the one faithful thing he did, not because he liked going, but because of the women. I didn't complain to much. As long as he went I was satisfied.
Take things that you can do while doing dialysis. Remember, for you, it's about you. For every patient it's about that patient, at a center, at home, the clinic. You are all the headliners of the show.
Some days it will be easy and then there's the days when you want to quit, I know those day, but GOD reminds us to keep going, we are doing great.
I'm going on 22 years of ESRD about 17 years on dialysis (I did PD and now on home hemo). The toughest thing now that your ill and your kidneys are damaged is to understand the limits if your body (on dialysis), through your diet. After you find a routine everything will start to feel a bit more normal until you get your transplant.
I know it's terrifying; the fistula, catheter in chest/stomach, the noise from the machines/ppl, seeing your blood etc..
All this is extremely overwhelming and most ppl just dont get it, the way you feel after treatment is normal, its your system (body) wondering whats going on, this is so unnatural, it is literally saying what the hell is happening!?!
That takes time to get use to, but if you have healthy diet with trace minerals in your water, high frequency foods your body gets stronger, and with that you'll feel good enough to be somewhat ok/normal..
I been on Hemo hemo for 3 years now and I feel amazing, I workout or do yoga/stretch at least 5 times a week.
Along with vitamins/nootropics (brain vitamins), diet/lifestyle change, breathing exercises (a must), sauna/cryotherapy, I feel amazing!
I believe anyone can! We must do this , it has become our reality now. Don't look at dialysis in a negative way (I use to do that all the time), I use to say, "time to go too hell" (I would always be sick)
Now I take to my machine like a car lol, I clean it and sure it runs the way it should. And I Thank God everytime that this is helping to stay alive n see my loves smile one more time😊
You got this! We dont understand how power we are, the body is amazing!
It's the mind we have to train.
YouTube Wim Hof breathing exercises that should help a little bit.
Thank you for these encouraging words. I realize I have to change my way of thinking about dialysis. Not in yet but getting close. Sometimes I’m positive, then wham! The negatives pop up and I’m depressed. What changed your mindset? One certain thing or several things over time?
Bunkin, I’m also new going to “school” I called the clinic I go to. Mine was my mind would tell me “I should/shouldn’t go like that only during dialysis days MWF. Hoping that I won’t go to depression because it’s a very, very, very, sad place to be in. You felt dead inside but you’re alive that’s the feeling... right! Thanks for sharing!
Honestly, from several places but one of the top three would be, to Do Not indulge in negativity, nothing.
No negative self talk especially (I think there for I am, toughts are super important).
Also no negative TV, YouTube, Ppl music/radio, if with someone and they're mad or I'm irritated I dont do much, just stay home or be quiet.
Again affirmations and happy thoughts telling yourself positive things.
Basically what Buddhist monks do and always speak and about they're the happiest ppl on earth, there must by something to it.
Point being be happy lol; through great food, music, laughter, appreciation etc.
All that being said heres how I did it (still do)..
Anytime you have a sad, depressed or a irritating feeling/thought, notice the negative thought don't stop it, think of it like being plane/jet, its there but dont act just Inhale 5 sec breaths In... Hold.... Exhale 5 sec Out (repeat 2 more times). Now the depressing thought/feeling is has flown away, its gone and your ok
( you have to keep doing until this becomes a habit, your new way of thinking).
It takes some practice and time at first but more you do it the better you get at it.
I will try it! I was just starting to accept it and was talking to someone on the phone who told me a horror story about someone she’d known with kidney disease. Then bam, my brain immediately went to “that’s me” mode. Got off the phone and cried. I have to train myself to get past the negative. Like when you tell someone you’ll be going on dialysis soon and they say, yuck I just couldn’t do that. I’m thinking, do you think I want to? I don’t have a choice. It just affects me deeply and I have to get past that. Again thank you for your encouragement 😀😀😀
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I'm trying to catch my breath inside the car opened the side mirror. I didn't know what I was up to! Things that you really don't know can be very scary! I was put on oxygen mask because I'm having shortness of breath! And the staff are doing their jobs to keep me alive! I was on the brink of dying ! That's very scary as I look back. I could just be gone in a snap because I don't know nothing abt. dialysis or maybe I'm on denial for awhile regarding my condition. There are moments I wish I've done different but everything already happened! Right now I'm trying to accept things, which was so very hard at first. I still the questions What if's I have done this or that? My situation that I don't like & scary at the same time is already in front of me! There is nothing I can do. I'm trying to accept my illness now slowly. I still have regrets every now & then
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