Very depressed: Hi everyone, I know most of... - Kidney Disease

Kidney Disease

11,043 members4,776 posts

Very depressed

RaviC profile image
11 Replies

Hi everyone, I know most of you are w family enjoying your holidays. I would just like to share about myself, I am diagnosed w ckd stage 3 some doctors say stage 4 while other say end stage. I don't know what or who to believe anymore but just wanted to share about myself,I grew up in a very abusive home as we were constantly beat up my alcoholic father. I had to stick around till I was 21 just to make sure he didn't kill my mom. From the day he died I had to provide for my family being a street vendor in Manila. For those who have not seen Manila its really tough. I was one of those guys selling cellphone cases car chargers on the street. Several tough years later I finally made it an organized business and started doing very well. The road was super tough especially bringing the anger from my experience as an abused child. Now I am 42 we live well and I have a beautiful 4 year old son and an adorable 7 month old daughter. My life has been extremely difficult, and now I find it unfair that I have ckd . I cant come to terms with this. I am under severe depression thinking about how I will leave my wife and young kids. I never abused myself, I never smoked , drank once in awhile, exercised daily, yet these are the cards I have been dealt. I really need encouragement right now. I am trying to pray and be positive yet the fear of death and leaving my family is too much. They are my heaven. Please if someone can relate I need yourel help.

Thank you

Written by
RaviC profile image
RaviC
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
11 Replies

Hi, I answered you in the CHAT you requested so look there for the information you requested. You should relax and learn all you can about CKD. Knowledge is Power. Once you gain the power to control your health the negative stress is manageable.

jason95xx profile image
jason95xx

Thank you for sharing your story, I think you should look at the bright side, you won't leave this world this early, still have long life to live as long as you get it checked and follow strict diet, perhaps your condition would remain or even improve! Miracle does happen, if you ever hear people recover from life threatening disease by just being positive and happy!

Cheers, friend from Malaysia.

RaviC profile image
RaviC in reply to jason95xx

Thank you my friend

MLes12 profile image
MLes12 in reply to jason95xx

yes agree, miracle does happen. A cheerful heart is the good medicine 😉

KidneyCoach profile image
KidneyCoachNKF Ambassador

Many live long productive lives while on dialysis. Always thinking about what could happen is stealing your future and happiness.

I've been on dialysis 18 years. If you can do it that long your 4 yo will be 22!! That is something to work for. Blessings

Hi, Ravi,

Congratulations on being a winning warrior in overcoming your early years of very tough circumstances! Those years and your successful determination to improve your life are the proof you need to remember that you are also "up" for the this new challenge with renal disease.

Being diagnosed with kidney disease is frightening for for most us at first. However, this community of fellow patients is proof that a ckd diagnosis isn't an automatic death sentence.

Health Unlocked is proving a tremendous resource to me not only for encouragement but also for recommendations of steps one can take with links to trusted ckd sites to become better informed and equipped as a patient advocate.

While it can surely be a downer when we are first diagnosed with CKD, depression is a serious health condition and can be far more harmful than renal disease. I hope you will first find a doc you can trust and that you learn more about how to interpret your kidney lab results so that you can learn, like the rest of us newbies here are doing, how to better manage our kidney challenges regardless of the stage.

What a blessing to be young with a lovely family who loves you. You researched to find this forum so I have every confidence that the road ahead for you can be bright and filled with more knowledge and happiness. And a tip from an "oldie", it isn't what life deals us that makes the difference. It is how we deal with what life brings that determines our success.

Best to you and all as we journey and learn together.

orangecity41 profile image
orangecity41NKF Ambassador

Your tip from an "oldie" is so true.. From another "oldie" . I too am glad I found this forum.

Bassetmommer profile image
BassetmommerNKF Ambassador

Hi Ravi,

Everyone has a story. That is why it is important to be kind to everyone because you just never know.

In the alternative healing world, carry baggage from our history is believed to cause current health issues. In the scientific world, there is a famous study ACE: Adverse childhood Experience, which proved that children who grew up in abusive homes will present with chronic illness in their adult life. Why does all this matter...because the PTSD you are experiencing is affecting your health.

The first step is to speak to someone. Can you find a therapist in your area who is experienced with PTSD? The second is to let go.... as much as you can and deal with what is in your life right now, which sounds very good. Do not apologize for being who you are in any way. You have fought a tough fight and have come out a winner. Reflect on that and be proud. And now, don't let your CKD steal more from you. Educate yourself on CKD. Take control, not let it control you.

developingchild.harvard.edu...

cdc.gov/violenceprevention/...

Lilly234 profile image
Lilly234

I, too, have renal failure and have to go through dialysis 3 times a week. I, also, am unsure as to my condition and have done some research. There are certain fruits/vegs that are superfoods and help with the kidney function. Blueberries, apples, cauliflower, cabbage -- just to name a few. I have a family and have been very optimistic about the future. If the doctors here in the US would get their noses out of 30 year old medical books, we may have a better chance. I trust my faith and God watching over me. There are a lot of people who have it worse than us so keep your spirits up. Your friend, Kathy Rose.

Keithtim10 profile image
Keithtim10

Hi RaviC I was moved to read your story and how you coped and turned your life round loads of admiration for you.I have CKD Stage 3b had it since 2015 which was caused bu ANCA Vasculitis and I cam understand your depression as I have it now but not very often.Believe me its not the end of the world by any means,i have learnt over time to alter my diet to look after my kidneys and believe me it works.I took advice from a dietician who put me on the path to understand that my kidneys wont necessarily get better but I can keep them stable and look after them and what follows is not all doom and gloom my friend.If you do feel depression talk on here because we are all here to help that are in the same situation.Hope this helps and my secret is also 'keep smiling' Good luck RaviC

doubleeagle profile image
doubleeagle

I'm very sorry for your state in life. I too have taken care of myself but still have CKD3 and Osteoprosis. Even though I've been a follower of Jesus Christ for a long time I still had much worry and insomnia for two years. Three weeks ago, while praying, God put a thought in my mind: "Who does your body belong to?" I thought it belongs to You Lord. Since that revalation I've slept very well. Ravi, just be wise and get education about your condition. Many people live a long time with our disease. I'm praying that God will take care of and bless you and your family.

You may also like...

Feedback very much appreciated.

Here is my experience. I am 38 years old (F) and would consider myself to be healthy overall. For...

Very low Haemoglobin

had a similar experience and can share some thoughts. I'm stage 5 Ckd..gfr 9-10..my HB has been...

A very fit healthy person diagnosed IgA nephropathy out of blue !

kidney biopsy of being IgA nephropathy. He is 37 year old, very fit runner, super active person....

Very concerned. New to all of this.

Educating myself on CKD and read it usually progresses over time. I had a yearly physical in March

Feeling isolated & depressed

My 60-year-old husband is in renal failure, on nightly peritoneal dialysis, and on the transplant...