So mad at myself....just need to start the journey. But how????? and why can't i just do it?????

So sick of my lifestyle - too much much wine, junk food etc. As a result my hubby and i are a couple of stone overweight and we constantly TALK about changing - but as soon as d-day arrives (invariably a Sunday) we say 'Oh, we will start Monday', then never do. We have been like this for years (we are now appraoching 40). I'm getting depressed about the whole thing which is why i've signed up to this - i just don't know how to break such established habits. Our whole lifestyle is starting to effect our marriage which should be a reason in itself - yet we still don't even start to make the changes needed. Its so easy to read the advice but i find it so difficult to apply it. Anyone else been like this? how did you change?

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  • Hi rie38,

    I'll have a go at trying to say something useful.

    Tonight, you and your husband sit down with a piece of paper (or two) and a pen and write down the answers to these questions.

    How overweight are we? (Use the BMI calculator on the NHSChoices site to establish that)

    If our current eating and exercise/activity habits have got us this overweight and we change nothing are we going to lose weight, stay at the same overweight or increase weight?***

    How overweight do we really want to be as we get older?

    How able to have active lives do we want to be as we get older?

    How concerned are we about the health risks connected with the excess weight?

    How concerned are we about our health and wellbeing, especially as we get older?

    Once you've sorted out what you think and feel about the situation - then plan what you're going to do about it, if anything.

    Or to put it the other way around - never mind the fob off - if you're not going to do anything about it, just be sure doing nothing IS actually what you want, is what you choose.

    IF you decide to do something about it then have a good read up on the NHSChoices web pages about nutrition, the eatwell plate, fad diets, exercise, the very good and totally free 12 week plan, etc., etc.

    And have a good read up on these blogs - the posts are mainly from people actually doing it.

    And no-one's making any money out of these blogs and no-one is 'selling' anything.

    Whatever you decide - Good Luck.

    (By the way, the answer at *** is that you will almost certainly carry on gaining weight.)

  • rie38, hello there, the answer is really already there, you want to do it but want a better a reason. No one can give you that, you have to want to do it and you have to give it every effort you can. I know that's hard to hear but, my husband was just like you, he knew he was over weight, but couldn't be bothered. I look back a wish he had taken that step and tried, but then he had 4 heart attacks, almost lost his life. And Now I sit a watch him fight for his breath, struggles to climb stairs, he will never be the same. I don't know how much longer he will last but I thank god he is alive and still with me. Good luck with you weight lose, please try...... xxxMaggie

  • I have been doing the weight watchers programme and it really works. It would be great for the two of you to do something like that together. Get rid of all the junk food from the house and stock up on fruit and veg and healthy food. It really isn't as overwhelming and difficult as it sounds. I am rarely hungry! It's just about reprogramming yourselves to healthy options and cutting out those foods with loaded calories and no nutrition. I certainly feel better about myself and healthier and that's what it's all about. Good luck to you both! You CAN do it!

    F

  • Hi

    I recently started the 12 week NHS diet. I am 41 and the 2 stone extra I carry came for the same reasons...Wine, junk food "my family are never overweight ill be fine", "it's just babyweight" etc etc.

    I am looking on it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. I just knew I was killing myself really slowly. AND most of all, last summer, my thighs started rubbing together.

    I thought I was too smart to eat rubbish food, but without a bit of understanding about what is in calories, you would be amazed at how much extra you are eating over and over again. It isnt each dodgy dinner that does the damage, it is the fact we do it again and again and agian that makes the weight.

    I am definitly losing weight really slowly but surely, ( in spite of a scone and clotted cream and Indian takeaway whoops a daisy this week). I also have a glass of fizzy wine every day. I am not hungry.

    the things that are making the big differnce are:

    bourbon creams have 68 cals in them EACH. so i quit eating 6 a day. and eat fruit.

    brown bread with seeds in it fills you up and is yummy.

    I am such an idiot, i had no idea that butter was as fattening as it is. I count calories which i never did before

    I use a small plate.

    I get out for a little walk more days than not.

    Dont worry, take it a week at a time or a day at a time. it is not a magic instant change and it is OK to fluff it up.

    Good luck, you are ready to change :)

  • Hello,

    Change is difficult but possible. The first thing that has to change is above the shoulders. then there is lots of good advice above about how to get there; plan, set realistic goals with a time scale to acheive them, about 1 to 2 lbs a week is tough enough and losing slowly means it stays lost. Look to change the way you think, then the way you live. Don't consider "special" diets, but think about what a good diet is. Sweet stuff and fat are the main source of calories, very small amounts make a big difference. Be honest with yourselves, you enjoy that full up feeling and the odd snack, we all do. results are never fast and may even stall for a while, don't lose sight of your goals. check BMI and waist size, this round the middle kind of fat is the riskiest, that's why men are wost affected, they keep their excess weight where they can keep and eye on it. Keep asking for support. a couple of practical tips: shop when you are not hungry. Don't buy snack foods and you can't eat them. Buy some smaller plates and only fill them once. Don't snack when you are at work or between meals. get used to the feeling of not being constantly full. Eat slowly. Adjust recipes so that there is only enough food for one portion each, freeze leftovers for when you don't want to cook. That should be enough to get you going, Think it through, plan and act. best wishes.

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