Motivation or lack of.

I have, over the last few months being in a sliding depression and have virtually given up. I have been telling myself who cares you're invisible anyway. I seem to walk through life with its up and downs fighting through patches of fog waiting for it to lift.

Personal issues have sent me in a nose dive of self doubt. I realise, without going into to much sharing, that my confidence is at a very low ebb. I eat, or don't eat, sleep or don't sleep,my mind full of rubbish swirling around. I wake up tired. I gave up the gym because I didn't have the energy or will to work out and truthfully, I wasn't getting the attention I thought was due.

Doctor prescribed a different anti depression pill with side effect that scare me to death. I won't take them. I couldn't take feeling or not feeling any worse than I already do..

I have whalloed long enough in this fog of self doubt and blackness. I want my life back. I know there are others who feel this way. I really do apologise for this depressing blog but better out than in.. For the others who feel like me. Hang on, get started. Big hugs.. Hurry up scales..

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15 Replies

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  • Hi clewis,

    It can be hard to motivate yourself to do anything at times and I certainly don't have any magic bullet for such a mood , or frame of mind.

    However, what I can say is that it's interesting that a young lady on the Hairy Dieters' programme used the very same phrase about when she was significantly over weight - the one about feeling "invisible" to people.

    Another thing I can say is that being overweight often makes you feel like not being active - just because so many things take that extra amount of physical effort. And that in itself can lead to a depressive cycle of I'm not doing anything because I don't feel like doing anything and I don't feel like doing anything because I don't do anything. Which becomes a habit, so being inactive becomes your norm. One huge problem is that in many respects we're modern people in cave-dwellers bodies and are bodies were actually very much designed by evolution to be active with foraging for food, hunting, etc., etc

    Well, one thing that might help is, in fact, being active. If you can persuade yourself to lose the weight AND up the activities (exercise) you are quite likely to find - but no absolute promises here - that your mood lightens. And one reason for that is that the activity itself may cause changes in your brain chemistry. (Endorphin levels and that sort of thing).

    I can say that although I don't think I was actually depressed per se before I started this new regime, losing the weight and gaining the fitness through exercise has very definately improved my general mood and my feelings of being able to cope with life.

    Good luck with it.

  • Thank you so much for answering my blog. Some times it helps to "put it out there" so to speak. I have met this mood many times. The older I get the harder the fight is to keep going it seems .. I guess for me then is, remembering, giving up isn't an option. Big hug thank you.x

  • it gets harder for me to fight also, I am 70 and been depressed most of my life. one thing that made me feel alive for the first time was viibryd it was a life saver, but after a few years, it suddenly stopped working. I am now taking Cymbalta with wellbutrin. of course I will have to wait for it to take effect. dear clewis I do wish you well and remember that someone does care.

    big hug to you also

  • What is viibryd

  • Hi Clewis, I to have issues with depression since the age of 13, Two years ago I was in a really bad place. My medication was chanaged, yes I had side affects but they passed and I am feeling so much better know. Last year was really bad for me I ruptured my Achilies Tendon was out of action for seven months, My Daughter has dreadful mental health issues and hasn't been to school since October last year, she is now going to be schooled at home...then in November my son severed his finger, but due to my medication I have held it all together. If a pill can make you feel better then you are now....it has to be worth-it.

  • i suffer from severe depression too, i have panic attacks if i go out, my moods swing dramatically from one hour to the next. i hate my self so i eat, then hate myself because ive eaten, my weight issue is the biggest stick i beat myself with, my gp assures me the tablets are helping, i have times when i think i am just going to nstop, i hope you can escape your demons and get where you want to go xx

  • Thank you so much for your replies. It's really good to know that I am not alone. I am going to keep the change of med an option for the time being I am not ruling it out. I want to see if exercise and heating well do me any good. I can relate strongly with both of you and thank you for confiming I am not alone. xx Chris

  • Try looking at the NHS couch to 5k program, you use podcasts and build up your fitness to a set program, you get a sense of achievement and lots of users have reported improvements in mood. I completed it last year, have not been running for a while so this week will walk each lunch hour and start the 5k podcasts again next week. I don't have an issue with depression but I know getting out into the fresh air again will give me a lift.

  • Thanks bizzyb I will look into it. xx

  • Dear clewis,

    Your post struck a chord with me, because it echoes how I used to feel when I was very depressed. It's hard to know quite what to say because the temptation is to give advice when maybe you need a big hug. But I just wanted you to know that you are not alone - millions of people suffer from depression, either temporarily or long-term (foggy patches as you call them) and millions also recover and find happiness and contentment. Depression just seems to be one of the crosses we have to bear sometimes. So there is hope even if it doesnt seem like it at the moment.

    I can totally see why you don;t feel as if you can exercise now. Depression is very debilitating, and although exercise might do you good, you maybe just cannot take it on at the moment. I think that's ok. Sometimes we have to just give ourselves a break and come back to it when we are ready. Now might just not be the time for you. You are still doing your best.

    When I was depressed, I couldn't find the energy to lift my head off the pillow let alone lift weights.They were dark, dark days which seemed to go on and on and I also felt myself slipping into a sort of apathy. In the end, only anti-depressants worked for me because they gave me the strength I needed to climb out of the downward spiral. What also helped was having very small goals (ie, lift my head off the pillow; wash the dishes today etc). I also made sure to give myself a pat on the back for every acheivement, however tiny, and record them in my "well done notebook" which I made specially. This way I could see that I was managing to make progress every day - and it really is true what they say - one day at a time. I think it is important to give your sub-conscious the message that 1. you are worthy 2. you are competent for the task and 3. that you WILL get better,even if it is not immediately in one fell swoop.

    So based on this, you might congratulate yourself for being a member of this forum, for reaching out to other members as you have, for seeking the help of your doctor and making informed decisions about your own health, and for striving and seeking in the way you do. Above all, for doing your best, even if that is not as good at the minute as you think it should be. Well done you.

    I wonder if you could have another chat with your doctor about some more suitable anti-depressants? They work wonders when they're right - I loved mine!

    Anyhow, Clewis, I hope this burbling has been of some use to you. And here's that big hug:

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    Hadenough1

  • Thank you so much! I loved some of you suggestions. A well done book!! I would never have thought of that.. I am on a help your self mission, I have been on anti -depression tabs for about 4-5 years now I am glad to say they worked for me too, util lately.. I think illness and family issue's have dragged me down a bit. I have affirmation tapes gathering dust (time to get them out). And my gratitude list is wanting too.. Thank you hadenough1 for reminding me.. xxx Big Hug xxxx

  • Isn't it encouraging Chris,All those lovely thoughtful replies.I really hope you can some help from them.

    I too am battling with depression after separation(soon to be divorced) after 30yrs from my teenage sweetheart.

    Some people would stop eating...I have been comfort eating...

    Hope to hear from you soon.

    Cate

  • Thank you Cate. I am so sorry ,30 years is a long time to share a life with and not easily to walk away from. Once you have closed the door and with help you will be able to move on I am sure.. I hope being on this forum helps you as it is helping me.. Take care, slowly does it.xx chris xx

  • Hi, I concur exactly, could have written your post myself....Don't know what the answer is.....although i take the tablets...!

  • Merry Christmas miamia!

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