So just over a year ago I managed to lose 2 stone, 1 year on I've put it back on plus an extra stone! 🙈
I know I need to start exercising again and stop eating junk however I really can't seem to get my mindset in gear to do it.
I constantly feel disgusted with myself when I look in the mirror and get on the scales. Just lately I've convinced myself my boyfriend will leave me if I don't do something about it, to the point where I'm looking for excuses to start arguments, pushing him away because I know he's going to leave soon anyway so in my mind I'm trying to speed it up. I've spoken to him about it and he says it's not going to happen and to stop thinking stupid things but in my mind it's all I think about. I constantly feel like I'm not worthy to be with anyone or to be happy, when I am happy I sabotage it - or try to. I really don't know why I do it.
I really need some help to get my ass in gear so I can stop feeling so bad about myself. If anyone has any advice I'd appreciate it so much 🤗
Just before I started here, some years ago, I was having very negative thoughts about myself, I was very low, verging on depression and knew I had to do something before I drove my self into a deep black hole and dragged the family in with me.
I was watching a film called Pollyanna one day, to cut a long story short, the girl in it, went from one miserable person to another and played a game of happy thoughts, for some reason it resonated with me and I started to make my self think of 3 happy thought as soon as I woke up. It made the day seem worth while and made me smile. I than joined the forum and discovered the Happiness Challenge,
It’s not for everybody, but it helped me hugely to concentrate on what was good in my life and gradually changed my mind set. I got to know some lovely people, who I still have as virtual friends, even though we have moved on.
It’s not easy to pull yourself out of negativity, but it can be done and you have somebody there who will obviously support you.
Your weight doesn’t define who you are and your boyfriend knows that 😊
As for loosing weight, for now, make some small changes. Stop eating the things you know you really shouldn’t be, do some healthy cooking and experiment with new recipes and healthy foods you don’t normally have, even if it’s just choosing a different vegetable 😊
Every journey starts with just one step, there will be hills to climb, but the view at the top will be worth it 😁
Don’t under estimate the support this forum can give you either. Join a weigh in and use the daily diary daily, chatting to others here, will really help you to change your mindset.
I find myself telling myself I need to stop eating junk and than it's the only thing I can think of. I think and think about it then give in to it and feel even worse after I've given in to it. I think I need to stop the self pity and just think about the future and what it would be like if I don't give in to the evil of junk food. Thanks for your advice 🤗
I think the longer we continue to eat the wrong things, the more we get entrenched in the mindset of I'll never be able to change, I'm a fat, ugly, lazy lump, I might as well just throw in the towel, but in reality, the fix is fairly simple. Stop buying the junk. If it's not in the house, you can't eat it and once you get the sugar and other nasties out of your system, you can start to think clearly again.
This very minute, go through your fridge and every cupboard in the house, put all the junk food in a black sack and get rid of it. If your boyfriend is a junk food fanatic too, ask him to support you in your efforts, by either joining you in your bid for health and happiness, or by limiting his eating of those foods only when he's not with you. Ask him not to bring them into the house at all.
The first few days will be hard, but they will pass. My advice for you is to never go back to eating sugary, or carby foods again, so that you never have to deal with a situation like this again, be guided by this healthunlocked.com/api/redi...
Exercise can wait until you're mentally and physically stronger. It shouldn't be viewed as a weight loss tool anyway, it should be something you enjoy doing for your health and well-being.
All of the information you need about the forum can be found in Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... and I hope you'll be joining all the Events, Challenges and Clubs that we run, especially a weigh-in and the daily diary.
We've found active participation to be key to successful weight loss and, of course, it's a good way to get to know people, find inspiration and share support and encouragement.
I see every where they say diet is 80% and excersise is 20% some weeks I can workout 6 days a week but then I find myself getting bored so I just eat literally everything from the cupboards and fridge. Then I think to myself there's no point in exercising if you're still over eating. It's the eating part I seem to find most difficult. I tell myself right that's it no sweets, crisps or fizzy drinks and then I do nothing but think about them. I give in and end up eating them and then feel totally guilty about it. It's a never ending cycle with me 🙈 I think I must lack discipline. Thanks for your advice 🤗
As I've tried to explain, it's not a conscious decision on your part, it's the food that messes with your hormones and makes you want to eat more and move less. If you stop eating them, you won't want to eat them and you will want to move.
However, you have to start somewhere and the longer you leave it, the worse it will get. Have a look at these:
What moreless says! Make sure you are eating /plenty/ of the good stuff, none of the bad. I'd say don't even bother to try to lose weight for a couple of weeks, just get into the habit of planning healthy meals and dump all the junk. You might lose anyway doing this but the main thing is to get rid of the cravings which are pretty much always physiological and not something you can think yourself out of or stop by beating yourself up. You just need to get rid of the rubbish that makes you crave rubbish and eat plenty of good food
You're story really resonated with me. I was having takeout food or junk food for every meal - I could go weeks without cooking for myself and sometimes would have a packet of bisucits for breakfast. I'd always overeat when ordering fast food and then feel disgusted at myself. I was embarrassed by my size and eating habits, the cost alone was crazy, but still it was like I couldn't stop myself.
My motivation to lose weight has been ramped up recently by an upcoming family holiday. I know that if I went on holiday as I am now I would not feel confident, happy or comfortable. Is there anything that you could use as a goal to motivate you?
I had similar negative thoughts about my boyfriend, very much 'never let him see me naked or he'll dump me' kinda thoughts. If he said he liked how I looked I wouldn't believe him. My advice for this is to ask yourself: where's the evidence that your bf will leave you because of your weight? Do you have any evidence that your thought is true? Can you be 100% sure that thought is true? Has this thought been accurate if you've had it before? Hopefully the answers to these questions will help you feel better.
My last advice is to remember that you can't change the past. It will not help to think negatively about the decisions you made in the past. All you can do is make changes going forward. There's loads of info on these forums and the internet generally about different weight loss methods, so find one that's right for you. Adding exercise will help with weight loss but it will also help your mental health which i
I think is key to sticking to the changes you make.
I love your comment! I have clothes that no longer fit me so I could use them as motivation. Really loved the comments about my bf and the evidence part as I've realised that no I haven't got any evidence what so ever about him leaving. We've had arguments recently when he's said that's it I can't handle it anymore yet he's come back. I think if he was going to leave because of my size now he would of just done it then. So I've kinda had a reality check thanks to your comments and it has genuinely cheered me up. Thank you so much 😊🤗
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