Fat middle-aged guy - joining to try and get some motivational support!

[Rocketandroll76]

Hi folks.

A friend in the NHS recommended I join here after complaining on social media about my recent weight gain.

I am trying to find some online help from like-minded people to motivate me to change my diet for the long term to try and lose the 4 stone I need to shed to get back to a healthy weight.... then stay there.

I work in a science based job and have a reasonable understanding of what does and doesn't work for weightloss and sustained weight control and as such am specifically trying to avoid fad diets and rapid weight loss schemes that set you up for failure.

I have spent 15 years or more trying to reduce my weight and it fluctuates a lot, but has steadily risen for over a decade reaching my heaviest ever weight now during lockdown, partly due to me eating more but also not helped by me now working from home and doing about 25% of the movement I did when I was at work.

My real problem (other than increased sitting on my behind due to the current situation) is that I am utterly passionate about food and drink, they are very much two of the most important things in my life and things I gain incredible happiness from. Any plan that involves eating salads and drinking water exclusively will never work in the long term I just need to get to a point where moderation is working for me

What I really want to find is a group of people who I can speak to daily, get motivation and just have the impetus of having to be honest about what I've eaten, drank or done in a day to keep me on the straight and narrow.

Is it viable to join or form a small group on here to chat daily and get that motivation?

Thanks in advance all for your support!

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

Hello and welcome, Rocketandroll76

You've had a comprehensive reply from StillConcerned, highlighting the flaws in what we've been told for decades constitutes a healthy diet - while we all piled on the pounds. Here's a video you may find interesting, the first of a series: you'll find the others on YouTube, only around 12 mins each

youtu.be/h0zD1gj0pXk(Not working as expected?)

The forum is a great place for information and support. You'll find everything you need in our Pinned Posts by following this link healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... A good starting point is joining a weekly weigh in on the day of your choice (why not today?) and using the Daily Diary, where members share their meal plans.

Active participation can give a great boost to your own efforts so I hope we'll see you joining in with forum activities

[TheAwfulToad Visitor]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being passionate about food; in fact one of the most pernicious myths about "weight loss" is that only tasteless glop is healthy and non-fattening.

You sound like you're in a very similar position to my younger self (about 15 years ago). I have degrees in both 'soft' and 'hard' sciences, I work with technology (in the fitness industry!) and thought I knew how this was supposed to work. And yet I got fatter.

At some point I read Robert Atkin's book - expecting it to be nonsense - and found that his description of metabolic failure was pretty close to the mark. I verified this by experimenting on myself I've gone from being Dilbert-shaped to 13% bodyfat, my fitness level is about the same as the average 20-something (I'm 49), and as far as I'm aware I have no signs of the 'inevitable' cardiovascular diseases that afflict middle-aged men.

I've also done a lot of obsessive reading about physiology and fitted this into the context of what I occasionally do for a living (control systems engineering). The dieticians are wrong about almost everything - their assertions bear absolutely no relation to biological reality.

I would suggest reading "The Art and Science of Low-Carbohydrate Performance". It's aimed at athletes, but given your background I think you'll enjoy the fact that it isn't dumbed down for a mass audience: all the science is properly described.

[Juppy 2 stone]

Hi! You’re in the right place. There are lots of people with different approaches here. I recommend you try the “daily diary “ posts and the “weekly weigh-ins” and you will start to notice people who are like-minded to you and encourage each other along. (I don’t know how to start a filtered group on here but after a couple of months you could private message people you seem to get along with to suggest a private group) . I enjoy the public groups and most people are entirely supportive, while suggesting things that work for them.

If you love food and recipes, I suggest you check out the “LCHF “ (low carb high fat) approach many do here (there is even its own forum on this for extra info.). I found adding healthy fats to my meals made me less hungry while losing weight, and made meals much more delicious and satisfying. That became the trigger to losing weight sustainably. As a scientist you may enjoy the various articles on this. If you are willing to add animal fats (after reading the science on health) the diet doctor.com website and recipes on this site have amazing tasty meals for pizzas with cheesy crusts that are tastier than dough crusts, dishes with cream-based sauces, and other tempting meals that helped satisfy my cravings for delicious and filling meals while losing weight.

Try active participation for 30 days or so and see if you can get what you need here! (I see a lot do one post and leave, never taking the time to find what parts might work best for them... I encourage you to surf around and try it).

[Greycote]

Great to hear from you i have been waiting for a fellow traveller to communicate with i am on week 12 off the NHS 12 week challenge i found inputting the calories each day was a good way to check how much food ive eaten each day and the way to go forward the next day ,I also stared a diary i wrote down the date i started my weight my goals and the reason i was going on my diet journey and wrote down all my thoughts for that day. If you want to reply i would like to join you on your journey

[Thetimeisright2020]

This is a fantastic place to be so I wish you well on your journey. I love food and have started buying hello fresh boxes, which are delicious. Hope all goes well on your journey 😊

[Indigorouge]

Hey !

Hope you are keeping well .

I was thinking perhaps you could divert your passion for food to some other interest . You say you gain incredible happiness from food and drink is there any other interest/ hobby that you could get into which could distract from this ?

I myself found I was eating the wrong foods for multiple reasons :

For quick fixes chocolate tasted better than a proper meal and surely chocolate was less calories than a lunch . Thing is chocolate didn't fill me up so then I would have crisps and sweets. I should have just had a proper meal.

Boredom . If I was bored I would eat.

When I started eating all the wrong things it just became what the heck might as well just eat everything.

Everything was snack food just crisps , chocolate fried food etc.

Last week I stopped and I didn't crave the food probably because it's been warm and so fruit became appealing .

I have tried to become conscious about what to eat ,tomorrow I'll know if I have lost weight or not

Even if I haven't I feel better for it .

But yes , that's what I think might be good. You identified a passion for food . Is there anything else you wanted out of life where you could divert your energy to ? A hobby anything ?

Good luck with your journey!

[Rocketandroll76]

Thanks all for the replies and advice....

Re: hobbies, yes, I have far too many of those too, I'm also CEO of a company and work is a major 'distraction' not to mention two or three hobbies I'm passionate about... but those aren't going to replace my love of food and drink, unfortunately

I have had a few people now recommend cutting carbs as a really good option... I'm not vegetarian and to be honest, most of my favorite things don't contain carbs so that should be a good option for me... I'll definitely do some more research>

I'll also join the weigh-ins and daily diary thing too... that's the kind of daily motivation I need to at least force me to be honest with myself about what I'm eating.

Thanks again, all good stuff, glad I found this place!

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to Rocketandroll76]

Good for you! Don't lose your love of food, it's one of the joys of life and we (most of us) are fortunate enough to have a huge range of options. Do your reading about reducing carbs and being relaxed about having more fats in your diet. Good luck

[Size-14]

Hi, Have you considered joining slimming world? Its fantastic for people who are passionate about food plus there's plenty of support from your consultant and peers. They have Facebook groups where you can post whenever you want and at the moment instead of going to meetings it's done via zoom which is set up on your laptop, tab or phone etc using a free app. I'm not a consultant but have successfully lost 4stone and hubby 5st in the past over a 6 month period with slimming world, sadly that was a few years ago and we should have stayed as target members but didn't and put some weight back on so recently rejoined again. I also recommend slimming world because it's an easy eating plan to follow as the food is so tasty and there are lots and lots of recipes that you can use and share. Its difficult to explain on here how it all works but please Google and look it up. Our consultant is a man and the groups contain a mixture of men and women. I really love slimming world and can't recommend it enough as we enjoy our food too and love trying out new ideas, we've never been hungry and have been able to make our own versions of takeaways, which have felt very naughty yet still lost weight as they are healthy versions. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Hidden in reply to Size-14]

There are a few people here who are passionate about a Slimming World, but without fail everyone I have ever heard of puts the weight back on once they stop paying their money. They always blame themselves too, it’s never the fault of the Slimming World diet that no one can keep it up when they are no longer paying a subscription. Interesting, and extremely clever business model.... 🤔

I hope you find a sustainable path for you.

[wheezybronch Visitor]

My view is , don't diet just change your eating habits. If you don't eat the calories you cannot gain weight. eat high protein low carbohydrate foods and stay eating that way. Exercise as much as you can. Boredom and or stress could make you comfort eat so keep occupied take up energetic hobbies, join park run groups maybe. I wish you luck.

[Rocketandroll76]

Thanks all.... yes, not going to go into details but I wouldn't touch Slimming World (or any of the other commercial diet companies) with a 20ft bargepole. Had a very negative experience with one the only time I tried that route... no one understood or could explain the science behind what they were pushing and from a scientists perspective that was worrying, it was all a bit 'comercialised woo' for me.

Also, as has been mentioned, everyone who I know who has ever done well on it ultimately then puts the weight back on.... and that's how they make their money from you, by forcing an unsustainable short term 'diet' on people to promote rapid weight loss but knowing full well it can't be carried on indefinitely and when the support is removed those people will drift back to normal eating habits and regain the weight.

wheezybronch , you are right... what is needed is long term change to my diet, but maybe with some short term drastic measures to knock a chunk of weight off to get to a point where I'm healthy enough to do more exercise and feel like I'm getting somewhere.

Lockdown has been a real killer for me... Although I don't do a particularly physical job, I hadn't realised how much I just moved around when I was at work, even just walking between rooms to meet with people and do tasks... now I just sit at a computer for about 10hrs a day and sit in front of a TV the rest of the time I'm awake, and snack constantly... that's what's caused the nearly 2 stone weight gain since the start of March

[jd65 5lbs Restart Oct 2023 in reply to Rocketandroll76]

I’ve been working from home since a week before lockdown and my steps drastically reduced to begin with. Who knew you could cover 2 miles a day moving between meetings! Now I take time to walk every day after work. I put my work laptop away and use the walk to get work out of my head.

I’d started changing my eating habits just before lockdown and have gone from constant snacking and grazing to eating 3 home cooked / prepared meals every day and no snacks at all. I make sure that my meals are full of healthy veg, protein and good fats and I reduced my carbs( not cut out). I am calorie counting based on the nhs guidelines for my height and weight and have so far lost 1st and I can honestly say I’ve not been hungry once. The snacking was just a habit.

For me it was about finding a way of eating that worked for me and finding an exercise I didn’t mind.

Good luck and I hope you find something that works for you. 😀

[Subtle_badger]

Intermittent fasting can work well with a passion for food. I'm eating less meals but enjoying them more, because no matter how good your food is, not every meal is worthy of passion. Do you really get passionate 3 times a day, + snacks? I'm skipping more of the mundane meals and focusing on the great ones. I'm explicitly trying new ingredients and preparations, and a meal looked forward to for hours is better than one eaten by rote, a few hours after the previous meal.

And hunger is the best spice!

[Rocketandroll76]

Hi all

I feel bad that I posted on here then disappeared for two months and have achieved NOTHING!

I have however today decided to seriously make this happen... I just noticed my left leg (which I have had circulation problems with before) is swelling up a little and I am also increasingly concerned about the correlation between obesity and the risks from Covid... so have decided to go for it and make this my next 'project'.

So... I need to achieve some rapid weight loss and then make a longer term change to my diet. I have already cut out energy drinks which were a big crutch for me, now switching entirely to sugar free soft drinks (I don't drink that many but have tended to drink full-sugar ones if I did).

My big choice is do I try a low-carb diet to start it off or intermittent fasting? I have had some good results with the latter before but it didn't work the last time I tried it. Wondering if low-carb is a better thing to try to kick the stone or two I need to get off fast?

Has anyone got any advice on which to try or places to get advice on how to do either effectively?

Also, keen to form or join a little support group to chat to fellow travelers on this road each day to keep my motivation up... if anyone can help with that?

Thanks again all

[RedUnicorn in reply to Rocketandroll76]

I do IF and LCHF and this is working although I am not a good advert as I lost a stone fairly easily then slipped into old habits.. I’m back and this time for good. I think that viewing it as a long term option and changing your habits is the best way. Short term ( even if it’s a kick start) fast loss with unsustainable plans are a waste of time IMHO...

Good luck!