I’m old, I’m obese, fed up feeling like I do and in pain every day and have a constant battle with my weight,... I’m also disabled through weight related issues and on the verge of losing my job through same reasons.. I’ve tried most of my life to lose weight, I had a gastric sleeve done in 2012, and I did lose quite a lot of weight, the slimmest I’ve been in living memory, but the weight found me and jumped back on me and hasn’t left me alone since...I have a constant battle going on in my head, the good part tells me all the good things about dieting, I’ve read everything going, but the other part is the lazy part who loses interest so fast that the motivation to carry on goes in a blink of an eye...I don’t know if it’s because I can’t see the end of the tunnel so to speak, can’t believe I’m capable of doing it...I’ve tried doing baby steps, like one pound a week, trying not to think big, that don’t help either..I’ve joined different groups, but after a while I stop going for one reason or another...How can I get focused and stay focused, any advice would be great...
Is there any hope left for me? - Weight Loss Support
Is there any hope left for me?
Well, how about putting 15-20 minutes a day aside to come to the forum, read what people are posting, chat and encourage others, join a weigh-in and use the Daily Diary? It worked for me 
You'll find everything you need in our Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
Sounds like you need a real change. I'll give you a few things to read; take your time with them and let me know what you think. Obesity is a sign of a faulty metabolism: you may have been told that eating fat makes you fat (most of us have): it isn't true: eating fat makes food taste good and keeps us feeling full so we're not inclined to overeat or binge. It's carbohydrates that make us fat as they convert to sugar in the bloodstream and excess is stored as fat. Knock the main carbohydrates on the head - bread, potatoes, pasta, rice, cereals - build your meals around veg, with meal and fish, cut out processed foods, including anything labelled low fat or light or diet - all heavily processed.
Try that for a month, while being actively involved in the forum each day, and see if you feel any better Here's some information
healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
phcuk.org/wp-content/upload...
This video is the first of a series, The Skinny on Obesity. They're around 12 mins long and all worth watching. You'll find them on YouTube
If I knock all what you said on the head, what sort of things can i eat for breakfast?
If you manage to look at the Daily Diary pages you'll see theres quite a range of things people have, my favourite is Greek full fat yoghurt with blueberries or egg based food, scrambled/baked/omelette etc
Here's a link to this Saturdays Daily Diary. To find future DDs look under Pinned Posts or Events and to find those check the info sent you when you joined on here,you'll have been sent a guide to how to navigate this Forum. All best!
I'm going to be very blunt here because you sound like you don't have time for playing games.
You have completely the wrong idea about "losing weight". Humans do not inevitably become fat and ill. If we did, we would have died out as a species several millennia ago. There is no such thing as "dieting". There is only good food or bad food.
You have to do some very specific things to a human body to make everything go pearshaped. Unfortunately, the "experts" have formulated a list of those things ... and told us all that they're the key to staying slim. If it wasn't so tragic it'd be funny.
In other words, you are repeatedly performing the precise actions that are required to make you fat, and to keep you fat. This is really quite obvious ... because you are fat, and have remained so.
Here's the good news. As I said, humans aren't naturally fat. Give your body good, healthy food, in adequate amounts, and it'll go back to being the shape that nature intended. The aim here is not to "lose weight", but to stop harming yourself.
This is not painful, complicated, or hard to stick to. In fact I think you'll find it enjoyable, after a lifetime of miserable, calorie-counted grey meals. But you have probably never in your life eaten a healthy diet, and the learning curve will be steep.
Read the links that BridgeGirl has given you, which spells out all the details. If you really want to sort this out forever, she is one of several people here who can help you. Listen to them, and I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how easy it is.
Thank you awful toad for being blunt...sometimes it’s good to get a wake up call, I will go and look at the things people have told me about and make more effort to join in....👍
Hi Moody-Moo,
I see you've posted a few times and there have been various pointers as to how to start your journey. Have you given any more thought to joining one of the weekly Weigh-ins and also involve yourself in the Daily Diarys?
At the risk of boring others here with my repetition but a few years ago, someone here said to me... "if you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you've always got". Maybe now's the time to try doing different things??
There are only helpful and friendly people here who are in the same boat as you and the people replying are trying to help you help yourself.
We all hope to see you joining in.
Good luck!
Thank you Tiggerr, I love your quote, going to jot that one down for a reminder...I’m quite new to this site and not really had a chance to look around ie the weigh-ins ect, but will go and have a read 💕
I've used that quote on myself now for 3 years and not just with my health journey but in all aspects of my life. It all sounds a bit twee but even with the best of intentions, it's easy to get stuck in a rut.
A variant of that idea I like (that has often been misattributed to Einstein): "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."
Tell me about it.... it’s always easier to make excuses why not to do something
... so let me help you with step 1... here's the link to today's Daily Diary... healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh....
Have a read through, I think you'll find it exciting and informative
And more importantly here's a link to tomorrows DD
healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... which I believe will be unlocked for posting at 7p.m.
I know, I'm badgering you 
Hi Moody-Moo , welcome.
I am 70, and I was obese.
If you "slim smart" weight loss is not so hard! It is not all about motivation and masochism.
Some of us here find that what works, for weight-loss and pain, is a combination of The Low Carbohydrate, High-Fat (LCHF) diet (see the forum here on Health Unlocked) and Not Snacking All Day AKA Intermittent Fasting (IF). See:
Newbies IF FAQ:
healthunlocked.com/fasting-...
The Fasting and Furious Forum, here on Health Unlocked:
Hello Moody-Moo , I think a clue to your problem is in your name - you are utterly fed up, possibly close to real depression, and it is really hard to pull yourself up out of that state. But the thing is, you have come here - you have taken the first step. So there is real hope that you can gradually pull yourself up out of this rut and make real changes in your life. And we all want to help you. If as BridgeGirl says, you can get online to this forum every day, you will find the most terrific support, first to help you get started (see all the above replies) and then later to help you when it starts to get hard, perhaps because you have fallen off the wagon. That's when we are best, helping you to keep going.
Failure only ever happens when you give up allogether. Keep trying. We are here to help.
Good point TT.
I changed my name to a more positive one after I came here Moody-Moo, perhaps you could be Happy-Moo
Lol, good one....it was what popped into my head at the time of making my account....I’m normally happy go lucky, good sense of humour... my normal name is nickersinatwist, so I guess that says everything 😂😂😂😂😂
Hi there Moody-Moo and welcome.
After a lifetime of trying to lose weight (overweight from the age of 9), at the age of 49 back in 2012 I decided that enough was enough. I managed to lose 4.5 stone in 2 and a half years through calorie counting and logging/weighing all of my food. The first 18 months I didn't include any form of exercise - I am disabled (Thalidomide impaired) and my excess weight was making even regular daily activity really difficult.
So in 130 weeks my average weekly weight loss was less than half a pound - of course some weeks I lost more, others I gained... but I am trying to impress upon you the importance of just keeping on going, even though the weight may not come off as quickly as you would like it to.
I cannot stress enough how important this part of the weight loss journey is - being able to recognise just how much we are eating and address that. It is not about cutting out any foods but about being able to make informed choices about the foods we eat . Also about learning how to behave differently around food. Just because food is in front of us does not mean to say that we have to eat it! Being able to exercise control and moderate intake is paramount.
I re-gained some of the weight I lost, then lost it again and have now managed to more or less maintain for the past 3 years around 10/10.5 stone. Still considered "over weight", but my goodness, how much healthier and fitter I am now. Used to get asthma, no longer affected. Could barely stand and walk when I started. Now am able to do things that I would never have believed. See my Blog post for just one example of regular tests of my improved fitness and mobility: flidfit.com/2019/09/29/smas...
I don't view exercise as a way to earn additional calories to eat - I use it as a way to remain flexible and independent. It's important not to be reliant on exercise to lose weight as firstly it only accounts for about 20% of weight loss (80% is achieved through food intake) and also if you injure yourself or are unable to exercise for any period of time, you suddenly have to reign back on the amount you are consuming.
I do a stretch and bounce seated routine around 4-7 times a week which lasts around an hour.
I try to do cardio exercise as often as possible, but because of my disability, it's quite a challenge. For that I walk and run (HIIT) on a special treadmill called an Alter G which is able to support a percentage of my body weight as I walk and run - currently I exercise at 80% of my body weight. I do this for 30 minutes every other week. I'd love to do it weekly, but I need assistance to get into the machine and can only get this support fortnightly.
I don't deny myself anything in terms of food - however, I have changed over the course of my weight loss to eat much more mindfully - considering "Do I really want to eat this?" ahead of eating food that is particularly calorific or not very healthy. Even leaving food that I'm not enjoying - never heard of in my "previous life"!
If I want to east a slice cake - I've worked out the calories beforehand and if I chose to have a slice then it DEFINITELY has to be worth it! If making cake, I slice and freeze any remaining cake in packs of two so that myself and my husband can enjoy it on other days rather than knowing it's there and needing to be consumed to stop it going off.
I have reduced the number of times I eat out as it's impossible for me to stay within my low (1100 calorie) limit by eating out regularly - even if I choose wisely. But to be honest, I am very happy cooking my own meals and eating those, as I know precisely what's in them - and I love, love LOVE my vegetables. I hardly ever get a takeaway (perhaps 1/2 times a year - usually at others instigation when I am visiting friends). I used to resent these things, but I now accept and embrace them. I no longer view this as a tortuous journey but more a new way of life.
I view my way of eating as keeping myself as healthy as I can in order to minimise the risk of developing middle aged illnesses (diabetes, stroke, heart attack...)
I don't judge my success by what others achieve - I just try to do the best that I can for myself and in a way that works well for me.
It does help that I have an extremely supportive husband who's always been happy to eat the same as I do (meals and quantities) - even though he doesn't need to lose weight. He has lots of little "extras" to make up.
I have just kept on going.... as it's what works for me.
As a final note.... it sounds as though there is a possibility that there may be some sort of emotional trigger for you around food (and eating). So perhaps until you have identified what emotions/feelings trigger the need to eat, you may never be able to win the battle. Only you will know the answer to this but be kind to yourself, perhaps buy yourself a book - one that I am aware others have found useful is this one: Gillian Riley: Eating Less: Say Goodbye to Overeating
amazon.co.uk/Eating-Less-Sa...
"As anyone who has ever been on a diet knows, they simply don't work. No one can diet indefinitely and, once you stop, the weight simply piles back on. Eating Less is not about dieting; instead, it places the emphasis where it belongs, on healthy eating and eating less.
This revised and updated edition offers you a unique and inspiring solution to overeating: its aim is to look at thoughts and beliefs about food, unravel the mind's addictive impulses, and retrain it to have a more healthy, balanced relationship with food. It introduces you to practical techniques that you can apply in your daily life; it shows you how to set your own limits without feeling deprived and becoming rebellious; and it gives you the ability to develop greater control by helping you to overcome addictive behaviour. So simply follow Eating Less and see your weight fall off and stay off."
I hope something in my reply helps.
I must do as you have mentioned and cut home baking in to pieces in 2s for the freezer. I used to do that. Thank you for the reminder.. Like you, I find I can now stop eating when I feel I've had enough. It's taken a long time but getting there. Last night I found I could only eat half of what I'd put on my plate so I'll have the remainder today. I agree about the emotional triggers around eating. That is often the case for many who have difficulty losing weight. We all have to work on that one and find our triggers and the reasons for them so that we can find a non food substitute which works for us. We will have different ideas on that.
Hi . I'm sorry to hear you're going through this but don't give up. Eat small and often and drink plenty of water and because you're limited on what you can do theres weights you could try ? That will give you something to focus on. So don't worry I have faith in you.
Hello and welcome, KirstyTait23
I know your reply was meant to be supportive but eating little and often is not helpful for weight loss. Each time we eat, we produce insulin in response which is a major player in fat storage. It's healthier all round to eat our meals and not eat in between.
Here's some supportive information
dailymail.co.uk/health/arti...
phcuk.org/wp-content/upload...
There's loads of support and information here: I recommend joining a weekly weigh-in on the day of your choice and using the Daily Diary to share your meal plans. You'll find them and everything else you need to make the most of the forum in our Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...
All the best
Hey Moody-Moo I see the contradiction in your post. You feel hopeless, yet your cri de coeur says you know there is hope left. And there is.
If your library stocks it, pick up Michael Mosley's Fast 800. It's not the right diet, but I found it inspired me to start on a journey. I was so inspired, I took a "before" selfie. I am not following that diet now, but it lead me to Intermittent Fasting and Low Carb High/Healthy Fat, which lead me to an impressive enough weight loss, I have shared that before selfie on here with the month later body.
Read everything people are sharing. Know that you can lose that weight. Share your successes and your roadblocks (there are no failures) and I look forward to following your journey.
That's the book I use and it's great. Love the recipes and I'm on LCHF and IF. It's coming off slowly but staying off which is more important. I don't use the book for all my meals but it's a great guide and tasty food.
Oh, so many good ideas here! I hope you will keep at it. I’ve struggled my whole adult life and I finally feel like I’m onto something with low carb high fat. The high fat part is really important... for the first time in my adult life I don’t need so much discipline to lose weight, because the food is tasty and filling. (Not Atkins... I did that and it didn’t work for me.)
Keep trying. The most encouraging thing a thin man said to me is that inside of him was a 400-pound man fighting to get out, and he encouraged me not to give up. So I’ll try to encourage you too. It can be so frustrating to lose weight and gain it back. But I will encourage you to keep trying! Join the site and watch the daily diaries... cheer on others and they will cheer you on too! Best wishes. ❤️
dear Moody-Moo. You are going to be fine. We’ve got you. You’ve been given lots of blurb, but another good one is carbdodging.com It’s by a British doctor who was obese & then learned carbs were making him fat.
I don’t know how old you are or what your ultimate goal is but I was 76 when I joined this forum 3 years ago and with the support, advice and indeed friendship here I achieved my goal and have maintained ever since. Good luck😊
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
First post feeling hopeful
Hope this helps motivate someone...
Please Join Me for a Monday Weigh-in (28th April 2014).
Calories will not lose me weight on this
BMI , weight loss and muscle
Liquid meals do it for me
Please help me learn to eat healthy!
Trying to summon hope 
Hello and any holiday tips?
