So I had a bit of a fall back last night. I had a long day at work and my partner was in a really bad mood I couldn't do anything to help him and I just felt like crap and I ended up just having a bit of a flop of an evening. I had a massive dinner with loads of cheese, no veg or anything and then I proceeded to eat some yoghurt's, jelly's and some popcorn. Had a mini binge. I stayed within my daily allowance of calories but I am worried that it is the start of the end. It always starts the same way.. Oh this is Ok, it's only one night blah blah blah, before I know it, it's all day long, Binge Eating until I feel sick and then keep on going.
Help! How can I stop myself from doing this in future!
Please don't feel one slip up is the end of the road for you. This Forum is here to encourage you and support you through all the ups and downs. No one has a totally straight forward journey!
None of the food was particularly bad, it was low calorie yoghurt and low calorie jelly and a small bag of popcorn it was just that I was full after dinner and ate it all anyway and if I needed something sweet I only should have had one, but I literally couldn't stop myself.
a) You're not eating enough. You should be eating a minimum of 2,500 calories a day.
b) Your food choices will make you susceptible to blood sugar and insulin spikes, which will make you almost constantly wanting more of the same.
Cheese is not a problem, but yoghurts, especially fat free yoghurts are, you should choose plain, full fat yoghurt.
If you can't resist popcorn and jelly, then they need to be kept away from you, if they have to be in the house at all.
Looking at your DD entry for yesterday, you're aiming for fat free and high carb, which is what leads you to (b)
You need fat for satiety and flavour. Dietary fat doesn't make you fat. High amounts of carbs, especially process and high GI carbs will mess with your hormones and make you hungry and craving. Snacking will keep you constantly in fat storage mode, rather than fat burning mode.
I will take a look at the links and see if there is something on there that can help me. I thought we had to stick clear of the fat full stop and everything.
No, that's outdated and incorrect information. Up to date research has shown that it's fat that's healthy and the over consumption of carbs that's doing the damage.
I didn't know what to do, he was so upset and nothing I could do cheered him up and I know it probably just sounds selfish but it just made me feel like crap
Hi Lucy,I think we have a bit in common. I’m new,started this diet on New Year’s Day. I weighed in at almost 24st so like you,have a lot to loose and I also have a tendency to binge eat when things go wrong. And let’s face it no day is perfect! Once I stray off a diet I usually lose it big time and don’t get back to healthy eating for a while. I’ve yo-yo dieted since being a young teen and I’m nearly 50 now.
I had one day day this week when after an argument with my teen daughter I was thinking about what to eat to make myself feel better but in this instance I just kept thinking why I’m doing this. And I know however good eating would feel at the time I would feel so bad the next day. I managed to distract myself so problem averted,this time.
Don’t feel bad about having a slip up,sounds like your food was controlled anyway so it shouldn’t Impact you weight loss.
I’ve read many self help books about what to do when you want to eat and it’s all about distraction and understanding that the more you eat doesn’t solve the problem. But it’s putting it into practice isn’t it. It’s so hard.
Chin up and carry on. Don’t let one day ruin your week.
The more you stick to it though and then you see the weight coming off and people start to notice,that’s when I think it gets easier to carry on. It’s in the beginning when there’s no noticeable difference and nobody notices you’ve lost weight even though you’ve lost 4st and feel so different,it’s so disheartening. It’s a vicious circle of losing a bit,and then getting fed up because your goal seems miles away and starting all over again only this time heavier then before.
Hey, Hidden , do you mind if I do some amateur analysis? I have no business doing this - and no training - but my hope is it might be useful to you. Please ignore me if this is unwelcome.
It seems you react badly when you aren't in control. Your partner is sad, and you can't control his mood, so your mood drops and you eat. You now feel you are a failure, and that you can't stop binging so that's another lack of control that may lead to a second binge. And then you will put on weight, another thing you can't control and the spiral continues.
But you can't control your partner's mood. You know that, of course, intellectually, but subconsciously, you don't realise that. You need to move away from trying to fix him and try just giving him the support he needs. If you can have a conversation with him when he is not in a mood, and ask him what the best things you can do for him when he is down or angry or whatever.
I'm an atheist, but I find the serenity prayer helpful:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
FWIW, some people like or need to be cheered up or comforted but I don't. When I am angry or sad, I need to work through it on my own. Any effort to fix me will likely extend the mood. Walking it off is good, sometimes distracting myself with TV or a game - it varies, but I have to do it on my own.
An unsolicited hug is almost physically painful at that time. Someone driven to fix my mood, and depressed when they can't, is my nightmare.
P.S. - You were depressed, and in the mood to binge and didn't break your daily calorie budget? That is showing fine control, and you should feel proud, not doomed.
That makes total sense. I hate not being in control and I have issues with OCD in that manner as well. If there's a lot of change that I'm not controlling or if there's a situation I'm not managing I find it really difficult to deal with it and I think that's linked to my depression anxiety and OCD.
Don't see it as a fail or the start of a fail because this is a new you and a new start. Instead see it as a learning curve, a way to look at what triggered you and build defenses against it, like a walk after your dinner or run. Whatever you decide, just make sure that it doesn't carry on and know that it's perfectly ok to have a lapse now and then. Just be ready for it next time.
Also, it might be an idea to have a word with the hubby and explain what you're trying to do and that his bad moods aren't helping.
Be kind to yourself and don't think of this as 'another' fail, see it as one lost battle in a war. There will be losses and there will be wins, it's a campaign, be ready for the next battle and win this one.
He's trying to lose weight as well but in a physically job and only 16st it'll be a lot easier for him by just changing some of his meals to healthier ones. It's just hard to see him like that because he didn't have the best childhood and all I've ever wanted was to give him a better quality of life
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