Just wanted to check-in and share my progress. I started a new eating schedule where I eat only 3 times a day and of course, calorie-count my portion sizes and it is working really well. (On the weekend I eat only 2 times a day because we tend to get takeaway or eat out and have bigger portions/dessert/drinks etc.)
Fortunately, I can finally stop concentrating on food and start concentrating on other things in my life that are more important to me, like my partner, our business, my daytime job.
I'm also working on improving my relationships with my mom and my biological father whom I haven't talked to or seen since I was a kid. To be honest, talking to him is easier at the moment.
I feel a lot of judgement towards my mom because she never taught me how to use food, she never stopped me when I was over-eating (probably because of anxiety) and now she's doing the same with my little brother (he's 12). She's also constantly snacking (not willing to change it) and now my brother starts to copy this behaviour too and has gained some weight in the past few months.
I try to persuade her to give him a lesson on portion sizes, meal times etc. but I realise it's a lost battle because she's unable to do that herself.
Talking to her is very challenging because she gets really defensive and instead of seeing the problem she told me: 'you were stuffing yourself like a pig too at this age, it's normal' :(. This really hurt me because it brought back memories of body-shaming and just reminded me how awful I felt wearing bikini etc. (I even have a photo in my mind where I'm super chubby and try to hide my belly, standing next to "normal slim children" )
It's really turning me down but I will try not to get upset and help my brother as much as I can by talking directly to him