Newbie needing help

[Cerise69]

Hi, I have just joined as I am getting desperate. I lost my beloved husband just over 4 months ago and my eating is out of control. I've always had a weight problem but had managed to lose a good amount of weight with SlimmingWorld and kept it off for several years. I've been back to the group several times since my husband passed away but I just don't seem to be able to stick to the plan for longer than a week. I don't know if this will work but I'm getting really worried about the weight I've put on both emotionally and physically. I think I know what I should be eating etc., but realise it's always possible to learn new things. I'll give it a go. xx

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

Hello, Cerise69, and welcome to the forum

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. It's very recent so it's hardly surprising that you're struggling but you will find support and encouragement here. We're all in the same boat and the forum is all about supporting each other. Also, we're here every day with a chat thread, where we talk about anything and anything (doesn't have to be weight related) and there are lots of activities for you to get involved in.

Our Welcome Newbies post will help you find your way around healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... I recommend joining a weekly weigh in - why not join the Sunday team tomorrow morning? - and using the Daily Diary.

Here's the chat thread healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

I'm going to give you something to read that might make sense to you as you mention having had a weight problem for a long time: please read it and come back with any questions: it could point you in a new direction and help you to make progress healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

I do hope you'll take time to explore the forum, read, chat, ask questions, encourage others, as I'm sure it will pay off for you

[Cerise69 1lb in reply to BridgeGirl]

Thank you, the article is very interesting. I would like to join the Sunday weigh in, how do I find it please?

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to Cerise69]

That's good to hear

All the information is in the Welcome Newbies post, including pictorial guides, so that should help you. I'll give you the link for tomorrow healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... but have a look at those guides to help you find your way around.

Hope to see you there in the morning

[Lytham 3 stone]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry for your loss and know exactly how you feel. Welcome, you've come to the right place! Would you like to join our Christmas Challenge? Here's the link to tell you all about it, I hope to see you there, you can turn this around, Good luck on your journey! You will find strength x

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

[Cerise69 1lb in reply to Lytham]

Thank you for your reply, yes I would like to join the Christmas challenge, I think that's just the sort of thing I need. X

[Lytham 3 stone in reply to Cerise69]

Oh that's great, welcome aboard, good to have you with us ! You can do this ! x

[CrazyCatLady2019]

Hi Cerise

I just joined myself but just wanted to say welcome but also be kind to yourself.

If you've done SW in the past, you know what works for you. What you may need to learn is how to separate foods and emotions. Which is easier said than done.

I just lost my mum which inspired me to get back into healthy eating but at least for me the problem is not the food itself...

Good luck and we're here if you need us.

[Cerise69 1lb in reply to CrazyCatLady2019]

I'm sorry for your loss, Thank you for your kind words, you are quite right, food and emotions are very much mixed. I will use the group as much as I can. xxx

[PippiRuns 6kg Restart Nov 2023]

Virtual hugs coming your way 🤗 I’m sorry for your loss 😢.

[Hidden]

Oh dear, that is tough. Grief can be such a lonely thing. Be kind to yourself. Please don't beat yourself up about your weight. But if you are concerned about it then you will find this group very supportive. X

[gman1961 Restart April 2024]

Good luck Cerise69,

One day at a time with everything,

Take care ,

Gary

[Poggsey]

Sorry for your loss, I can't begin to understand how you feel, but if you want support and to feel connected to a positive friendly group your in the right place. Good luck.

[elliebath Maintainer]

Very sorry to hear of your loss. I can understand how grief and sadness can affect our eating habits. I've always found the people on here to be very supportive and non-judgmental , so I hope we can all help you to feel a bit better and tackle those extra pounds.

[Missionwoman Restart Sept 2023]

I am so sorry to learn of your loss. I think you need to be kind to yourself. It is very early days and sometimes we need the comfort of food. I think if you can have some treats/comfort foods worked in to your healthy eating it may help. Have you considered bereavement counselling? I know it's not for everybody but it can make a difference and help you come to terms with your loss. A good counsellor will also help you move forward at your pace. There is often a waiting list but do you have Cruse in your area? They are all trained counsellors.

This is a very supportive forum so you have come to the right place for help with weight loss. Best wishes.

[Hidden]

I think it is probably your natural way of dealing with your grief and I am sure it is very normal so don't be hard on yourself. It is good that you have recognised it and are trying to address it. I'm sure the support of this group will help you. Start with small changes and see how you go. Set yourself realistic targets over a week at a time so you can be pleased with yourself for achieving them rather than trying to change your whole eating pattern in one go. And try and get out for a lovely walk, good for body and soul xx good luck xx

[S11m]

Hi, Cerise69 , Welcome.

Condolences for your loss... My late wife died three years ago - and I put on more weight before I came here.

Many of us here find that what works is a combination of The Low Carbohydrate, High-Fat (LCHF) diet (see the forum here on Health Unlocked) and Not Eating All Day AKA Intermittent Fasting (IF). See:

healthunlocked.com/fasting-...

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg]

When anyone close to you passes it is hard to be motivated to do most things . Cooking for me was a chore , people told me to go out ...and where - to the pub or out for meal . Well meaning but that has its limits . Don't make this difficult or complex . I eat simple easy food with no effort like a quick omelette , cottage cheese , tinned tuna , porridge etc and follow a cal controlled diet that allows you the odd glass of wine as I eat mindfully the next few days .

I joined a gym which meant classes to music .Going crazy to Zumba burns almost 400 cals per session and I feel I am around people but I only have to chat if I feel like it as the focus is the class. I find the monthly fee make 3 classes a week about £3 each - price of a coffee . If I ever do anything else there then it is a bonus as at the moment I don't fancy swimming and the aqua aerobics are all when I'm working .

I think food is only a part of it . I go to classes in the evening when I know I will eat . Daytime walking groups are fun when the confidence returns a little too as many go for similar reasons then end up going for the exercise , routine and something to do aspect .

Some find support groups great . I chose not to want to listen to other personal stories as this is about me , an individual who didn't know other peoples loved ones but I can see how others can get a great deal from them .

Keep in touch via this site as we all welcome tips , advice and mutual support .

[Cerise69 1lb in reply to focused1]

Thanks you for that advice and I'm sorry for your loss. Your suggestions are the sort of things I am going to try to do. I'm retired so don't have to work but that can be a good and a bad thing. Also I have decided to move back to my home county in Essex as we had only lived here in Suffolk for 16 months when my husband passed. Although I have made friends here I think I need to be where all of my family are. So lots to think about but having a challenge seems to help me keep motivated. Just need to deal with this weight. I'm sure the group will help. xx

[focused1 Maintainer 13kg in reply to Cerise69]

I think family support is the best .It is challenging to move but gives you that fresh start that many think about but never do so

well done for having the courage to go forward.I think you can make friends but a caring family around you is a wise decision especially when you have done it though informed choice and not necessity.

[MissAzzee 4lbs]

Dear Cerise69

I’m so sorry for your loss. Given what you have gone through please don’t be hard on you. Welcome to the forum, it’s a supportive group and will be with every step of the way. My heart hoes out to you and your family x

[Downandout123]

I just wanted to send you my condolences. I have nothing else to add. All these wonderful people have said it all already. You are definitely in the right place. Just give it time. Don't try to lose it too fast because it will backfire. God bless you.

[Craftyperson]

Sorry to hear of your loss it's natural to comfort eat in these circumstances( I know I did) so don't beat yourself up its early days yet. Just take it in small steps and allow yourself an occasional treat, gradually less and less each week. Sending big hugs.

[Seuzan]

So sad to read your post. I feel for you. All the best to you on your journey! You will get through this. Try to focus your mind on all the positive times you had with your partner and be determined to keep going. Take good care of yourself and focus on eating nourishing food. Exercise will help you to feel good about yourself. Lots of love! 🌷