Hi, I'm new here: I separated a year ago and... - Weight Loss NHS

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Hi, I'm new here

Hidden2020 May

I separated a year ago and in the last few months I had fallen into a pit of depression and am now trying to get my life back on track.

I’m a comfort eater and have put on a lot of weight, I also started smoking 6 months ago.

Its time to turn things around, I’m trying to stop smoking, I need to loss the extra pounds and start getting more active.

I know its not going to happen over night but am determined to get back to my usual happy self.

19 Replies

Hi, Hidden, Welcome.

TeamAdmin will be along soon - and will give you relevant links.

I was widowered three years ago, and I got depressed and obese.

I would not admit to having been a "comfort eater" - but I did once eat a 250-gram Camenbert as an afternoon snack!

Weight loss advice has changed completely in the last few years.

A proportion of members here still count calories, but calorie-restricted diets suppress the metabolism, and Not Eating All Day, aka Intermittent Fasting (IF) stimulates it... and this is one of the reasons that the simple arithmetic of calories eaten less calories burnt does not work very well.

You can start by setting a time in the evening after which you do not eat, and then gradually transition into Intermittent Fasting 16:8 or 20:4. This can take weeks - as your body gets into "fat burning mode".

You can start by cutting out Grains, Potatoes, and Sugar, and then transition into Low-Carbohydrate High-Fat (LCHF - see the forum here on Health Unlocked) or Keto.

I think that most members who do Intermittent Fasting and eat the Low-Carbohydrate, High-Fat (or Keto) diet find that they can lose weight without counting anything... and this makes transitioning into maintenance so much easier. See:


...and, re calories:



Hello, Richard1952, and welcome to the forum 😊

I do hope you deal with the smoking: that's the biggest favour you could do yourself.

On the weight side of things, I'm going to give you a couple of things to read that could give you a new approach. Take your time reading and come back with any questions



This welcome pack explains how the forum works and how to find your way around healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... I recommend joining a weekly weigh in on the day of your choice.

Please consider your privacy and safety online. You are using a photo and giving personal information and your post is unlocked so can be shared around the Internet without your knowledge or consent. We suggest that you lock your posts by selecting ‘members of my community’ when you write a new post. Please read our security post here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Wishing you every success in reaching your goals 😊

PS Please DO NOT use the HU App as it doesn’t give access to most of the important areas of the forum. Use the website with whatever device you’re using

Hopefully with the support on here you can get back to being your usual happy self.

Good luck,


Bosset29 in reply to gman1961

Pls I really need u guys help to loose atleast 25kg in 12 weeks

Hidden2020 May

Hi Richard,

Sorry to hear about your recent losses and ill health. The grief of a separation can be really overwhelming for a person. Maybe you could start by introducing some healthier coping skills to help you through this. Exercise, reading, joining a club, gardening, dance lessons, volunteering, meditation and counselling are just some examples of activities that can be of significant benefit to a person both physically and mentally.

You’re already taking steps to address the weight gain so well done! I am also a comfort eater and I joined the group to seek support around improving my diet and healthy eating. Firstly, have you checked your BMI? This gives you an indication of your weight range and from there you can get an idea of how much you need to lose. I record my daily intake using an app called my fitness pal to monitor my calorie intake per day. Find a form of exercise that suits you. Walking, running, swimming, boot camps, attending a gym, aqua aerobics and spinning are just some examples.

Drinking more water is a good way to curb food cravings and also replacing sweet and salty snacks with fruit and nuts. Definitely give the cigarettes the boot as they are just so harmful. If you can’t do it cold turkey, there is plenty of useful tips and support online. Another option could be to consult your doctor.

Be kind to yourself Richard and take one step at a time!

Best wishes,


How can I loose weight in 12weeks?

Tiggerr15kg in reply to Bosset29

Hi Bosset and welcome :)

The 12 week plan provides a process that will allow you to lose weight at a sensible rate. The idea of the 12 weeks is to learn how to eat healthily and to get into a routine. After that, we can keep using the skills learned to carry on losing any additional weight.

Tagging TeamAdmin so that you can get an official welcome.

Good luck!

BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Bosset29

Hello, Bosset29, and welcome ☺️

I am away from my laptop at the moment but will get back to you later this afternoon with all the links to get you started

lucigretAdministrator in reply to Bosset29

Hello and welcome Bosset,

Yes, I am sure you could loose some weight in 12 weeks. I am hoping that you have had a chance to look at the 12 week plan that Tiggerr has mentioned in his reply.

In BridgeGirl's absence, I shall give you the links to our Newbie Pack and some information about internet security/privacy. Please take the time to read them both and come back and ask us any questions :)



Wishing you all the best :)

BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to lucigret

Thanks, lucigret :)

ScoobaSteveRestart July 2020

Welcome Richard. Nice to see you're still smiling :)

missmillenium99Restart Feb 2020

Good first step Richard 💪🏼! If it was me I would find it difficult to give up smoking and binge eating at the same time - too many things to focus on. Once you feel comfortable with one you will hopefully naturally want to stop the other and made healthier choices overall.

Edge1234Restart June 2020

Good luck, as you say it will take time but enjoy the journey and look forward to feeling better very soon.


Welcome to a great and very supportive forum. As advised to me, the more you log on the more inspired and motivated you are. Keep us updated with success and failures and we all help each other along.


Hi Richard & sorry to hear that life has been dealing you some blows.

But the upside is, you recognise that things need to change before they slip out of control - I’m sure that being on this forum will be one of the things that will help you stay on track.

My advice would be to set yourself small manageable goals initially so that you don’t set yourself up to fail, so to speak.

Plan your meals & also plan your snacks & when you’re going to have them eg is that 4.30pm time a vulnerable one often? Have an apple on hand or a small banana!

Maybe eat a bit earlier in the evening then brush your teeth to signal that you’re not going to eat anything else before bedtime.

Continue with your strategies to give up the smoking, as (to echo someone else’s advice), that’s one of the biggest favours you can do for yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but maybe reduce by 1 or 2 cigs a day at first.

As it’s summer, get out & about as that will be a great complement to your healthier eating.

It’s all about creating healthier habits & routines and once you feel like you’re back in the driving seat, your sense of well-being will hopefully flourish.

All the best,


Hi Richard, I am sorry to hear to hear of your depression, I know that place only too well. What really helped me was Counselling sessions, to be able to talk things through with someone instead of bottling it all up, really really helps. I have recently stopped smoking but I went cold turkey, no help, I do really well for the first few weeks and then further down the road it feels harder so I am trying to get some help for that.

I lost 4 stone last year that I really needed to lose but I want to lose another 4, which is not easy at all but I do sympathise with you. I have gotten really bored of eating meat so I am trying to stick to a fruit and veg diet..early days for weight loss just yet though lol.

I wish you all the best and please remember not to bottle anything up, talk to someone, I am happy to help..

ScouseTaffy6st 7lbs

Hi Richard,

You've taken the first step by logging in here. Advice, info and support are available in abundance. Set small goals, make small changes and they ll make a difference. Go for it x


I seperated 2 years ago after 38 years

I too fell into unhealthy habits to cope

2 stone weight gain & buying lots of clothes that didn't fit

Ì am now coping with it by a river walk daily & yoga 1 x per wk,& gym, talking & support groups

now got to cope with going to court so signed up for a yoga retreat in 6 months to give me something very positive to look forward to,

I would never have tried yoga if I was still in my relationship 😁

You need to find less destructive ways to help you to feel better

BridgeGirlAdministrator in reply to Dj9ao

Wise words, Dj9ao :) It sounds like you're finding a new way for yourself that you wouldn't have done in your relationship. I'm sure you the yoga retreat will give you new energy and resources to move forward.

Wishing you well :)

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