Challenge: Hi, I'm a newbie who has been... - Weight Loss NHS

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richard1962
richard19627lbs

Hi, I'm a newbie who has been struggling with weight for some years. I weighed in at well over 13st on 9 December and got such a shock that I've lost 11.5 pounds already. Probably going to try to join the Wednesday wobblers if I could work out how. Really not doing anything special, just trying to alter my portion size and eat more vegetables than carbs and proteins, though not cutting anything out. Realistic about my limitations, this time, I hope!!

172 Replies
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lucigret
lucigretAdministrator

That is a brilliant loss Richard, well done :)

The Wednesday Wobble Warriors will be very pleased to welcome you and once you have been added to the Stats you will be awarded a badge to show everybody your achievement :)

Here is some information that will help you find the weigh in. It will be opened around 9pm this evening (so that our overseas members can take part) and will close at 9pm tomorrow night.

healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Lytham
LythamSuper Host 3st 7lbs

Hello and welcome, I am a wednesday wobbler and look forward to hearing from you in the morning ! Im getting nervous now (no snacking tonight lol) it sounds like youre off to a good start, well done

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Lytham

Thanks, it's not easy is it? I am just a lot more mature in my approach this time, I feel.

Lytham
LythamSuper Host 3st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

No its certainly not easy, it goes on alot quicker than it comes off ! Hope this time will be different for you, Im finding this forum is really helping me , im not alone !!

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Lytham

That's really true. I find that if I have one good bout of delicious scrumptious over indulgence, it takes weeks to get back to where I was. I hope the forum works for me....

Lytham
LythamSuper Host 3st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

I know what you mean, I find myself refusing to go out with friends sometimes because it sets me back so much and takes forever toto get back

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Lytham

That's the hard part, isn't it. Having your overall goals in mind , but not letting them affect your social life and your relationships. Sometimes, I've set myself a goal of a big family get together but this has led to relaxing afterwards and then feeling worse. So this time, I'm going for long term health and trying not to be upset if my friends and relatives see me in less than best looks.

Lytham
LythamSuper Host 3st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Totally, my "skinny" friends keep telling me I can still go out and lose weight but the white zinfandel has other ideas ! I know youve got to have a good balance but when youre lucky enough to be focused you really dont want to be knocked off track

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Lytham

You are so right. One of my friends was saying that she would never have thought 30 years ago that I would have a weight problem. I replied that I don't have a weight problem, just a self control issue! I think I'll just have a little... and then it is all just so tempting.

Lytham
LythamSuper Host 3st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Yeah too true, I get told I dont have an off switch ! Its either all or nothing for me, cant just do things in moderation , think I must have an obsessive personality !! Just a shame its food that I can get obsessed with though lol

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Lytham

Indeed: I don't think I'm obsessive, just unmindful: down the hatch and I'm not not thinking of the consequences as I savour the flavour .

Lytham
LythamSuper Host 3st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Yeah lol that sounds familiar ! Ive said before I just wish there was more food I just didnt like the flavour of !

Well done Richard that’s brill I’m 16 stone and short I would like someone to invent a stretching machine ha ha I’ve just started this journey so only down a few pounds and as I keep saying this site is brilliant everyone so encouraging keep up the good work 😀

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Crochethooked

Thank you, Crochethooked. Yes, a stretching machine would be good, but I have found doing Rosemary Conley stretches makes me an inch taller for the day!

Really I will look into it 😀 hope your having a good day keep getting them pounds off your not far from the big stone 😀

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Crochethooked

Yes, Crochethooked, I couldn't believe it when I realised I was not far from the first stone. I'd been working at each pound and not looking at the greater picture because 4 stone feels like a huge mountain (actually it is a huge mountain on me!) and then each pound mounts up into something more.

IndigoBlue61
IndigoBlue61Administrator

That’s excellent Richard 😊. I’m a Wednesday Wobble Warrior and will look out for you tomorrow

Stoozie
StoozieMaintainer

Congratulations on your fantastic weight loss, especially over the festive season :)

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Stoozie

Thanks, but have to keep on concentrating: that's the long haul journey. But we all have to do it and reading all the posts is really motivating me.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Hi great to see you on the Wednesday wobblers, thank you for your support, I noticed you thanked me for the LCHF eating plan advice, have you been looking into it?

Have you made a start on LCHF and have you noticed a difference in your weight loss?

Lots of questions but I do hope it works for you as well as it has for many others.

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I managed to shift a little this week, but it takes getting used to and I'm adjusting slowly. I'm looking forward to my weigh in again this week as I just want to see the scale going in the right direction rather than wobbling around the same figure. Thanks for your support!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh that's great that you managed to shift a bit this week, the LCHF eating plan and does take a bit of getting used to, after being told that low fat is best for you for so many years. it is a real shift to start eating healthy fats and enjoying them but once you get your head around eating healthy fats and avoiding high carb foods you will enjoy it and the weight will shift for you.

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Thank you so much for caring, pamela22!! Yes, today has been a good day. I find it tough when the blood sugar levels go down mid pm and also when I'm making food for the hungry crowd. My husband is skinny as is my 19 year old who is living at home and my 12 year is just before his growth spurt and is eating like a horse!. My 16 year old daughter is away at college but I cook her fattening foods as she is at risk of losing too much weight! I have struggled with her weight in that her BMI went down to 15.4 but is now up to 17 and I'm hoping it will be 18 by the end of August. So we all have different nutritional needs and I struggle with temptation!!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Oh goodness you do have a lot on your plate so to speak, I know what it's like preparing food for a large family, my girls have left home now but return with partners and my ever hungry grandson.

Sunday lunch was for 9 today with leftovers for my elderly neibour and her blind daughter.

I just love preparing meals for everyone but struggle to avoid eating things I know do not fit with the LCHF eating plan.

So I fill the many serving dishes with lots of different veg and meat then everyone helps themselves I find it's much easier to provide for everyone's tastes and appetite this way.

I do care, we are in this together 👍😊😏

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

That sounds a great idea Pamela22. I have started trying to analyse when and what my cravings are but also go a step further to work out how to stave off the cravings. Veggies dipped in hummous are doing it for me at the moment but also plates of hot vegetables: even in this hot weather, I find I need the comfort of a warm food which is more substantial than a soup. Does that make sense? I think I have spent the last 25 years being so busy catering for everyone else's needs (I have 5 kids now living abroad as well) that this is possibly the first stage since I was in my mid twenties when I have had a chance to positively egocentric rather than negatively selfish. Weird but true.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Oh I hear you my friend, i too have found myself in a position to concentrate on my own health and wellbeing for the first time in over 30 years and I'm enjoying it.

For the first time ever im not feeling guilty about spending hours in my craft room sewing or creating something that I want to do.

In the past, work and home life cooking and cleaning took up all my time but now I can be creative again and enjoy the freedom to do my own thing for a change.

As for the cravings I get it, I love veg too and dipped in hummus is a match made in heaven.

Since I've been avoiding gluten and taking care to avoid high carb foods I've found I'm not really very hungry now and don't crave carbs or food in general so much now either.

I'm following the LCHF eating plan and enjoying it, the food is lovely and tasty and for some people the weight loss is fantastic when they stop eating the high carb foods.

I do hope you have a great week and the scales will show another loss for you.

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi Pamela22, Thanks for the support. I'm finding the low carb bit really tough as I feel quite ill in the evenings the last few days and ending up eating a potato boreka (or 2) because they are hanging around the fridge in a threatening manner! I'm going to hijack their intentions and freeze them before tonight's cravings and weakness sets in. Yes, I had tons of veg today and that hit the spot.

Middle age definitely has its compensations, hey? As the house has emptied out, I'm taking time for myself much more and going for walks (albeit not long rambles for lack of time) but as it has emptied, I'm taking on more work and studying. The children always seem to lead complex lives and peace of mind seems far away.

That is one of my challenges, as previously carbs have been for when I'm tired, or bored, or stressed and that means pretty much all the time. See you on the Wobblers tomorrow!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Oh yes the compensations of middle age indeed.

I too get the nibbles in the evenings, my husband usually sits and munches on chocolate or biscuits or sweets of some kind, he has never had any problems with his weight unlike myself, I've struggled all my adult life and I feel like I'm loosing the battle.

Oh well we will see what the scales say in the morning

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yes, being vastly different to the rest of the family in terms of weight issues is tough. I almost celebrated when my oldest daughter started having (minor) weight issues after her second son was born: I felt some sorority involved. Sounds mean but they were all so skinny. My weight struggles started properly I suppose after my 4th was born and he is now 20! I was given advice to make sure that I lost all the extra between pregnancies but I didn't manage and so it piled on. Let's hope the scales are kind. G'night

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Hi I had a super busy day yesterday but enjoyed being out of the house and visiting my friend (from our school days together) and her 2 little grandsons, I went with my daughter and my grandson and they had a lovely play date together.

With the result that I'm exhausted today so a day of rest for me today but it was worth it.

Unfortunately the scales showed a gain of 2lbs yesterday but I'm not surprised really I'm struggling to keep away from snacks in the evenings, my OH sits eating chocolate beside me and I have been tempted too many times, ah well I just need to keep myself busy in the evenings while my OH sits eating chocolate 😏😣

How did you get on yesterday in the weigh in?

Good news I hope

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi pamela22, I had a great week and lost half a pound whilst working out how to slowly transform my diet. Icecream is my problem at the moment as I make icecream for the freezer for all my crowd to snack on and....

So glad you had a good play date with grandchildren. We're having a family party in November when all my lot will be together and all being well we will be welcoming a fourth grandchild. Mine all live abroad so SKYPE is useful.

I'm sorry about your 2lbs . We all have our temptations but at least you know how it happened. Sometimes weight gain comes out of nowhere

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Well done on your weight loss every little bit counts.

How fantastic to have Skype to stay in touch with your children and grandchildren who live abroad.

Home made ice cream sounds delicious and I can understand why it tempts you, so difficult to to resist.

My mission this week is to drink more water and eat less snacks.

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yes, I forgot to drink some days. And definitely less snacks although I'm working on making them healthier snacks: so hardly any chocolate at the moment, and a packet of biscuits managed to get eaten without me even spotting them: just saw the packaging on the recycling pile.

Have a great weekend.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Well done, good on you missing the biscuits better to let the skinny folk eat them ... lol

👍😆😂🤣😁👍🍪🍫

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yes but fell off wagon today; scramble back on tomorrow!! How did you do today?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Hope your scrambling back on the wagon is going ok, I too fell off the wagon and on Wednesday I had put on 2lbs 😣😥😏 but I think I know why... my OH has been shopping and buying chocolate bars from Aldi and sitting with one of the bars broken into pieces between us, and I have been tempted more than a couple of times ... ho hum I will need to stop this bad habbit before I put on even more weight.

I'm delighted to say that I haven't had the chocolate with my OHin the evenings since last Wednesdays weigh in as I've been keeping myself busy sewing in my sewing room upstairs and far away from temptation.

I'm hoping to have lost the 2lb for Wednesday wobblers.

How are you getting on?

XxX

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Hi my friend how are you getting on?

I had another week where I was tempted by carb rich foods and I put on another 2 lbs.... I'm determined that I'm going to loose it again this week.

I find that it only takes a few days not being careful about what I eat to gain weight but it can take ages to loose it again.

I hope you had a better week than me

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi, Pamela22

Oh that is so tough. Yes, it is too easy to put on and the slowing metabolic rate/aging/lack of exercise/hypothyroidism etc all mean it is hard to lose.

Yes, I put on 1.5 which was a disappointment but actually not too awful given what I ate. I'm not sure how this week will go as Wednesday started off with a big meal out with colleagues with the boss paying. So far too much eaten but it was nice to relax with people who I work with all the time. Lots of pasta.

Today I'm really trying to be good but tomorrow will be stressful as I have an assessment centre for a new job. (More money)

My aim is to try to LCHF better this week and see where the scales go.

Look after yourself and be well

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Looks like we both had a non LCHF week and the scales are reminding us to get back on track... I'm trying to have a good week too ... let's see if we can both loose this week.

All the best for tomorrow and getting a new job and more money too.

Here's to a better week for us both

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Here's to the good week as I chomp on some cherry tomatoes.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh yes i love cherry tomatoes, they can be so refreshing on a hot day, little sweet and healthy too.

XxX

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

All the best for today at the interview, your in my thoughts.

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi pamela22

I was quite good for most of the assessment centre exercises, group discussions etc and then I muffed the formal interview. I think I got over tired and a bit over wrought and I lost the plot and said the first thing that came into my mind. I feel a bit of a fool as I was quite hopeful. Let's hope the scales are kinder

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh not so good, but perhaps there's is a reason for this happening, perhaps there is something even better waiting for you , always look for the silver lining and never stop believing in yourself

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

On the bright side I'm working very hard on the lchf and so far today has been a good day! How are you doing?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh that's great, hopefully tomorrow the scales will show your hard work keeping to the lchf eating plan.

I'm doing ok thanks, some days are better than others energy and health wise but I'm trying hard to keep to the lchf eating plan too... I'm hoping the scales are kind in the morning.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I think the scales were kind to me: STS but the heat is quite something and I'm definitely eating less, though also moving around less. What about you?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

I've managed to loose 2lb this week, like yourself eating less drinking more water too which I know helps a lot

So that's the 2 lbs I put on last week has shifted again so I'm quite happy with that.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Well done, pamela22: 2lbs is awesome. 2lbs nearer goal and it means you've really concentrated well. Fab result

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Thank you, I'm putting it down to drinking lots of water this week, and now I've a new challenge, I'm going to try and go a week without chocolate!!! Its not going to be easy as chocolate is my favourite go to thing when I get the munchies 😊🤪🍫🍩🍪🍫

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

A week without chocolate. Shocking. OKAY, I'll try too!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh fab welcome to the 'no chocolate for one week' club.

It was all started with Misstrawberry in the wednesday wobble woriers

We can do this ...

I've had a good day so far.. no chocolate has passed my lips... but it is calling to me from the kitchen.

🤪🍫🍪🍩😊👍🤪

Haha pamela22 you make me chuckle, what have we started

Hopefully a new trend for the nation, no chocolate has passed my lips either lol, we can do this 😁😂😇

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to Misstrawberry

Chocolate cake is included?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Everything with chocolate I think ... 🥴😣🤪🍫🍪🍩👍😇😇😇

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

OOps

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to Misstrawberry

Oh yes .. what have we started lol ...

Well done for avoiding chocolate all day 😇😇☺️😁

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Cadbury and Bourneville shares dropped overnight as a result of our campaign!!

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Chocolate has such a lot loud voice!!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh yes a very loud voice especially in the evening 🤪😣😜🥴😱🤪😁☺️

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Louder than thunder, and far more compelling

If you think thats bad, im 17 stone and my bmi ideal is 8 stone! I am now trying to make more permanent healthy lifestyle changes and changing my relationship with food. Thats the only way I'll get to go down to my ideal and stay there. Best of luck mate

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to zafzafzaf

Hi zafzafzaf, wow, that is a goal to aim for. I have 4 stone to go till I'm content but realistically, I'd be happy with anything over 2. Maybe break down your weight loss goals into smaller chunks? Good luck for tomorrow

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Oh yes Cadbury and rowntree and bournville will be struggling without our help 😂🤭😄🥴🍫

I have been so good today, I was offered chocolate today by my daughter and i refused 😇👍🤭🥴

How are you getting on richard1962 and Misstrawberry have you managed to avoid chocolate passing your lips today?

😇😇😇👍🥴🥴🥴

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Wow you are a hero!! You have climbed Everest today!

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I didn't do badly on the chocolate. But work ordered us iced coffees today due to the need to make us feel like staying and not throwing the boss overboard. Then there was a little bit of rum and raisin icecream. But NO chocolate.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Well done... no chocolate means you have conquered another day without it... we are doing great 😇👍😇

As for the iced coffee and icecream ... yum yum yum and very good choices on a record hot day like today ☺️😊🤪👍😇🍦☕👍

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi pamela22, my brain feels like it has dissolved! I have just realised I have a family celebration that I have to look good for at end of August and another at end November. I am going to take this sooo seriously now: no ice cream either!!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Wow ... your on a mission, that's great motivation.

I too have a family gathering next month so I'm with you... we can do this 😇👍😇

I'm going to be very good and stick to the lchf eating plan, I know it works for so many people the weight just falls off

👍😊😇

What is your weight loss strategy going to be ... apart from no chocolate and no icecream???

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yes, on a MISSION! I'm going to try to stick to lchf, as well as walk more: did 8281 steps so far today. Aim to walk my normal day and then go for an hour's walk most evenings. Also increase salads and cooked veg and increase water. Daughter coming home on Tuesday and I get 3 weeks off in summer holidays so hopefully walk and be more active.

Also, I'm going to be decluttering the house a bit more so that should lose some calories!

I really want to be comfortably in a size 14 dress I have by November: 2 dress sizes. Otherwise I have to buy another dress and I can't afford that.

Any plans?

Have a great weekend!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Oh wow sounds like you have everything sorted... great idea to stick to lchf and drink lots of water too ... that's great were both doing the same... let's see what the scales say on wednesday 😇😇👍

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I really cut down on sugar today. I really tried but carbs got ahead of me though choc is being beaten!! How about you?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Still no chocolate has tempted me, I've been eating lots of fruit, strawberries, rasps, blueberries and 2 nectarines for dinner as I just didn't fancy anything else

I've stuck to minimum carbs, and minimum dairy too and lots of water and hoping for a loss on wednesday

xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi Pamela22. Today I am sticking to fruit and chunky veg soup. I read somewhere that pureed soups which I much prefer are no good as they break down the fibre too much. So I'm dicing and shredding veg instead to see if promised weight loss miraculously happens as a result of not 'whooshing' my soup. Is that possible?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh great idea, I love soup and in the winter I often cheat by buying the ready chopped/diced veg from the shops come home pop it in the pressure cooker along with lots of water, a few spoons of bouillon a few bay leaves and any other herbs and spices that I fancy, it's ready in a heartbeat and sooo tasty and warming.

We can do this ... we have both had a super great week and I'm hoping that I may have managed to shed a pound or two, but I am realistic and know that my hypothyroid body is constantly fighting any weight loss so I'm preparing myself for another disappointment on wednesday ... but I'm not giving up too easily ... I have to keep fighting for every single lb even if my body resists it.

Salad and fruit today for me.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi Pamela22

I missed the end of the forum. But yes, I managed to lose 0.5lb which is better than a kick in the teeth but I'm even more excited about the lowering of blood pressure. Keep trying. Let's defeat the choc together

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Well done on the .5lb weight loss that's great 👍😇

Let's see if we can do another week chocolate free... 😇😇👍

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I had a test of that resolve tonight as my daughter came home from college last night and made ...chocolate chip cookies. I was watching one son grab one after another and I self righteously refrained. Before I had you to give me strength, I would have said 'just one' and then after everyone had left the kitchen had another 3 probably but here I am proudly telling you I survived this test. This is even better than losing weight in some ways as I feel more in control of myself

That is a really nice way of putting our battle against our thyroid issues. I will try to incorporate it in my thinking. It gets so frustrating sometimes!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh yes let's see if we can fight our hypothyroidism and loose weight despite all odds.

Do you have hashimoto's thyroiditis too?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

yep, had it since my first pregnancy 26 years ago!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh wow!! How did you discover hashimoto's was it in blood tests while you were pregnant?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

No, it was when I was getting weaker instead of stronger after the birth and after about six months, when I found I would do anything not to move my legs that the doctor ran blood tests. How about you? How long have you had it?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh wow that's amazing, what a shame you had this experience after your first baby it must have been so hard for you to cope with everything going on. How amazing that they found the hashimoto's so quickly, were you hypothyroid before finding out you had hashimoto's?

My story is very different... I have struggled with my weight since my periods started age 12 I ballooned from a wee skinny kid to having big boobs, chunky thighs and ample bum when I look back now I had an hourglass figure at age 13 as my waist was very neat and a flat tummy ... but i hated it at school until some of the other girls cought up and developed boobs.

My mum was the same shape/build as me and we struggled together to keep our weight down, one diet after the other.

Fast forward to my 20's I had my daughters and then the weight started piling on no matter what I ate how little I ate how much exercise I did I never lost any weight, I gained muscle but retained my chunky thighs and knees then my upper arms started getting bigger, I still retained my slim waist and flat tummy.

Fast forward again in my late 30's I was at college and in the biology dept we did an experiment on calorie intake and expenditure, we wrote down every food we ate for a week then analysed our calorific intake and handed it in for marking to the lecturer.

I plotted everything right down to a single polo mint I had ... the lecturer commented that my calorie intake was under 500kj which was not enough to sustain me and I should be drastically losing weight if this was truly what I was eating... I told her it was accurate and she suggested I visit my doctor to see if I had hypothyroidism... I did, I started taking levothyroxine and felt better energy wise but the weight has never shifted.

I found out I have hashimoto's thyroiditis by joining the health unlocked forum and taking advice to get my full bloods done privately only last year. I'm still battling to get my full blood results done through my doctor and I know my bloods are not optimum but I'm working on it.

So sorry this is a long ramble , I've never really told this story to anyone before now

🥴❤

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

That is astounding that it was providential that you got yourself analysed at college that you must have struggled to get to anyway! No, my story is a bit different. Basically fine as I was growing up but a little chunky but no more than average really. Had my first daughter at 26 and it probably developed during the pregnancy because I was super obsessed at not eating salt and therefore cut out iodine. My thyroid collapsed as a result.

It took time to get correct dosages of meds but gradually sorted it out. Dr said it might be harder for me to carry a baby but then I proceeded to have 7 more (now aged between 25 and 12). The dosages have varied during the years and through no rhyme or reason. As I'm getting peri menopausal, the dosage seems to have gone down a bit.

Into my 50s and I don't think any of my family even remember that I have it. Just you and me and the rest of the forum know that for every half pound, a huge effort has gone into it. The rest of the world thinks I'm an obese...I'll keep polishing the halo.

I actually made great wholemeal rolls so that I wouldn't eat the great breads we make at the weekend! So I'm feeling very virtuous.

Keep up the struggle with me!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Wow you have 8 children I'm so impressed, you deserve a medal to go with your gold star and polished halo

🏅🌟😇

I'm with you all the way... we can fight this together and I'm here to support you on every single lb you loose and celebrate with you too

👍😇😇👍

XxX

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

OMG I fell off chocolate wagon and white wheat wagon quite a bit today. Back to the grindstone tomorrow!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh noooo!!!

Get yourself back on that wagon ... with me... I need you by my side... 😇😇

I was very tempted today too, but I thought of you my buddy and you kept me on the wagon... so here is a leg up back in your seat and holding on firmly to the reins... were in for a bumpy ride 🥴🤭☺️🤣😇😇

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yep, I felt the leg up and I made another pot of chunky soup this morning! Thanks, my friend

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Excellent news, glad your back with me.

What's in your soup today?

I had Cullen skink soup with my daughter yesterday while we were out picking up my sewing machine after getting it mended, then picking 7 big ceramic pots for her front garden, she just needs to plant them up now. I will probably get roped into helping with the buying and planting as usual.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

That sounds like fun. I'm just doing lots of veg, several onions, lightly fried, white cabbage, carrots, lots of tinned tomatoes, celery, red peppers and termeric, parsley and rosemary. Big pot lasts the week. I'm catching up with paperwork from work today as well as a little shopping as one of my sons is going to visit my daughter and her family in Milwaukee, so off to wonder what to get son in law. Daughter and granddaughter are easier. I really do not want to buy him a tie or be a sock mother in law!! Any ideas??

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Soup sounds delicious,

As for gifts for a son in law, has he any hobbies?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yes, it is quite good and I'm going to use some of the liquid in a sauce for a bolognese for tomorrow. So feeling very environmentally friendly.

Son in law: he likes dancing and sports

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh great idea, two different meals from one pot of veg soup. 😊👍😇

For your SIL...

🤔How about CD of music he likes so he can play it in the car or at home,

🤔Autobiography of a sportsperson he likes,

🤔book on history of his favourite sport, my husband is heavily into formula 1, so books on this usually keeps him entertained for hours,

🤔A DVD of something he enjoys, perhaps a box set of his favourite series

Any of these any good? 😊

For my nieces I used to buy all sorts of things, clothes, makeup, jewelry, handbags, toiletries 🤔 but now I find it's easier to get them an Amazon gift card then they can get something they like and its saves on postage and packaging and me wracking my brains to find something I think they would like.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Those are really good ideas. I'm going to hunt around. I'm having a star day today so far. Let's keep it so.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Great glad to help in any way I can,

Good to hear your having a great day so far, me too although I have a packet of sour jelly fruits calling to me as I sit sewing in my craft room (spare room lol)

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

OOh hope you had the strength to hold off!!

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yes, I feel that together we can do it. One of my daughter's developed colitis during her pregnancy and she says 'f colitis, I'm going to live!' I'm a bit more refined, or maybe my condition isn't as life inhibiting as hers but the sentiment is there.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

I'm with you ... I have the same attitude I think that life is too short to sit back and think "poor me!!!" I have hashi's hypothyroid and fibromyalgia so severe crippling chronic pain throughout my body 24/7, I'm awaiting surgery for removal of my gallbladder but they want me too loose weight before I go for surgery, I'm a special high risk case as I also have sleep apnoea where I stop breathing when I'm asleep so not ideal when I'm going under the knife in theatre so the surgeon and anethaetist are more than concerned. 🥴😣

Ah well I'm desperate to loose weight as I know it will be much better for me but my body has other ideas.

How do you control your hashimoto's thyroiditis?

Did it take a while to get all your bloods to optimum ?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

How long have you had hashi's? I've now had it diagnosed for 25 years but it takes time to sort it and then when other things happen, it needs sorting again. I was in huge pain and thought it was menopausal, goodness knows what and then when I had blood tests over the chest infections for the last 6 years, I found I had really bad deficiency in Vitamin D. NHS kindly prescribed 8 weeks of Vit D and I feel a different person.

It must be awfully stressful to know you cannot have surgery till you lose some weight. How much do they say? The sleep apnoea can't be easy either.

I almost had chocolate today: went so far as to have my hands on it and I was trying to get the pick n mix bag open and I thought of you and having to admit and I REFRAINED. Thank you so much!!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Firstly WOW I'm so proud of you refusing chocolate 🍫when you had it in your hands that's great ... I award you a gold star 🌟 and a halo 😇 your doing great 😊👍

How interesting that you had lots of pain then chest infections to find out you had a really bad vit D deficiency, I too have really bad pain (diagnosed as fibromyalgia) I've had repeated infections in my gallbladder and the private blood test showed a bit D deficiency too .... hmmm I think it's time I had another blood test to see if I need more vit D I'm only taking Adcal tablets which have vit D and calcium, I was given these because I was taking omeprazole, but I've now found out that leaky gut is caused by low stomach acid so I've stopped taking omeprazole now and thankfully the acid reflux is much better now.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

That is a serious bunch of stuff, but I think you deserve the halo for supporting me.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

😇😇👍

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hope the scales are kind this week.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh I hope so too, but I know my body and it's almost impossible to loose any weight atm, it's not stopping me trying 👍😇as I know how easy it is to put on weight if I eat the wrong things 😣🥴🍫🍦🍪 🍞🥞🍟🍕🥪🥮🥴😣

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Absolutely. Every time we don't put on is a celebration too!! It is so hard, and I'm finding the temptations quite tough at the moment as my daughter is home for a month and baking, and treats are being given out at work at the moment. Working hard on it. Had a so so day today. How has yours been?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Hi sorry I've not been around I've had a hectic week baking birthday cakes, sewing to a deadline and sorting things out to get away on holiday with the family ... I've either been busy busy busy or laid up in bed suffering from the exertion of the previous day... such is my fibro life... when I can do things I overdo it then the payback is crippling chronic pain... no happy medium with me... I'm a pretty laid back person who takes everything in my stride but fibro is evil it robs me of my life 😣🥴

Ho hummm that's my grumble over ... I've had an ok week food wise I did have a few days when my body craved chocolate for the instant sugar rush and the endorphin rush that helps the pain ... I caved in once because I was feeling so down but after that I was back up on the wagon with you 👍😇😇👍

I'm on holiday with my family in Englandshire for the next 2 weeks so goodness only knows what we will be eating, I find most places do have gf options but they can be limiting when I'm trying to do lchf too.

I had a delicious gf thai curry on the way down south yesterday which ticked all the boxes and I felt 😇👍☺️

I weighed myself on wednesday and I had put on 1 lb 🥴😣 how did you get on?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi pamela22, I was thinking of you and hoping you were doing ok. I STS this week but I think I've put on now and am going to be very good for the next 3 days. I left my main job which was a maternity leave cover which extended to being almost 2 years in the end. Lots of cakes, eclairs and stuff was flowing and it was all rather tough for 3 days. Now it's summer holidays so I can't run my life as regimented but on the other hand, I hope to get some more exercise in.

Just saw one son off on his trip to Milwaukee to see one daughter and her family. One son is on day camp for 2 weeks and why oh why is it raining again!

I'm going to stick pretty much to be as good as I can for the next month but it is a little tough as I need to be feeding up the almost anorexic daughter. It can be the subject of a novel I suspect: the hefty mum with the 6.5 stone daughter!!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh bless you, you sound like such a wonderful caring person, its wonderful that you are able to see your family and share in their lives.

I do hope you manage to help your daughter to achieve a healthy weight, is she a very fussy eater or are you able to provide all kinds of healthy foods for her?

I'm going out to meet my mum in law today with my husband and my daughter Hannah.

It's my MIL's 89th birthday next week so I have gathered the family together to celebrate her birthday as she has been very unwell lately.

We are taking her out for lunch today to see how she is at getting out of her house so she can practice for next week.

She has not been out of her house since we dropped her off this year after she had been living with us from October till February... she comes to stay then never wants to leave us ...

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Oh wow, we seem to live parallel lives, or maybe it's just our age. We will be celebrating my mother's 90th birthday in September, all being well. She lives near us and moves in every weekend to spend good quality time with us when we're not working.

I don't think my daughter is fussy although she obviously has preferences. She went away to college and didn't seem to look after herself very well. She didn't want to balloon as she has seen so many others do when they leave home and so she probably over restricted herself. Also she didn't like seeing people queue for food or food grabs, so again she steered away from this stuff. I wasn't overly worried as I also lost a lot when I first left home as did my other two daughters and as have several of my sons. However, this little darling managed to sink to 5 stone 12 and the college phoned me to say how worried they were. For which I am eternally grateful. She eats at home but finds it hard to eat away and so I send her meals and goodies and I've given her a microwave, sandwich toaster etc. She likes healthy food choices but obviously they are very different to our needs, huh! Oh to be 16 with a high metabolic rate.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh that's great that your going to be celebrating her 90th birthday, so lovely to have her so close and visiting you regularly.

I have my dad living close he is going to be 80 at Christmas.

we are very lucky to have a family get together for sunday lunch/dinner every sunday and we also get together for wild wednesday when anything can happen... we go out for lunch visit places of interest together, or maybe just a trip to the beach with the dogs.

I do hope your daughter manages to regain some weight and remains well, I'm sure with your help and guidance she will be just fine.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Ho pamela22, yes she is celebrating her 17th birthday in 10 days time and when I asked what she wanted for her birthday meal and she picked stuff for all 3! So that is good news. She is keen on lots of food and she loves baking.

We're having quiet summer holiday at home but we will get time abroad hopefully later in the year.

I'm about to have a bowl of veg soup. How has your eating gone this weekend?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

That's great that she has chosen food for her party. I do hope you have a lovely time and you both have a great time baking and preparing the food together... such a lovely time together to have mum and daughter time.

Memories, precious memories are made of this ...

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi pamela22, but I find that the things I think are memories don't seem that precious for the kids and sometimes the things they remember as really special have slipped my mind. I suppose alternative minds, alternative perspectives.

Yes, we have 3 full weeks together.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Isn't it funny how we all can be involved in something and yet all remember different bits from an event, I have such lovely memories of my girls growing up but they only remember my stories of the things that happened.

And like you I have forgotten some things they talk about happening when they were little.

Still we now have all this social media and digital photos to capture everything that happens, so we don't need to rely on our memories so much now.

I'm putting hundreds of photos and videos onto a digital picture frame right now as we chat as a gift for my mil for her birthday party I'm arranging for her.

Lots of baby and family photos, wedding, naming day, birthdays and every time anything interesting happened... its lovely to see them all again.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Now that I am having a break between jobs, I walked 5 miles yesterday and 5 miles today!! Had some carbs as well though and did help boost choc shares!

I'm feeling a little shy of putting loads of stuff together like that for my mother as there are also sad memories as I lost my father almost 12 years ago and they were very happy for over 50 years but the last years were tough due to his dementia. Also she lost all four siblings over 30 years ago. So we are focusing on her grandchildren as she has 11 and her great grandchildren which may be 9 by then but is now 8 still. (I am awaiting my 4th grandchild: when did I get so old!!!?)

We have her friends and relatives from around the world sending messages, cards, videos etc for the day and I know several of her friends who want to send flowers. Should be a great day! Have a good time looking through all the memorabilia.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Oh wow sounds like you have everything sorted, I do hope you all have a wonderful time, it's so lovely to share precious moments with loved ones,

so sad to hear about your dad I lost my mum to cancer in 2010 so 9 years ago, she was only 68... taken way too soon. 😥

Great to hear you have been out walking, I've been much more active too on my holiday in the peak district.

Unfortunately ive also been trying some of the locally made fudge and delicious home made chocolate ... oooh just too tempting and tasty.

I'm not looking forward to getting home and standing on the scales 🙄😳😵

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Ooh, I used to make fudge for my kids! Yummm. Life is getting more normal but I weighed in a pound heavier as a result of my leaving dos at work, but I'm grateful it was only a pound. Didn't walk today as had dodgy tummy which meant legs felt like jelly and couldn't stray too far from conveniences!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

That's interesting that you suffer from dodgy tummy, I have the same problem sometimes... i occasionally get really crippling tummy cramps and pains then a dose of the runs, other times i just get the runs with little warning... I'm usually bothered with constipation so this happening out of the blue is new to me and has only been happening since I started going gluten free, I've been wondering if there could be a connection between me going gf and these runs? Could it be a result of me accidentally eating some gluten?

Have you noticed anything similar or any other things to look out for with hashimoto's? I'm only asking because you have had years of experience with hashi's and I'm still learning to live with it.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

No, I think it was related to having too much veg soup!! Also I ate a lot of raw salad and I think that tipped the balance. But I was very sick as well, and just had to take it a bit easier. I'm hoping to go for a walk later. Even if not 5 miles, just to blow cobwebs off. I haven't really noticed: I know that I get very tired if I eat the wrong things and when I was a bit younger that seemed to be connected with certain shop bought biscuits and I thought it was the palm oil, but I was not sure. The kids loved these biscuits and we'd buy them for outings, but if I had a couple, I would keel over and sleep for the whole journey home and not share the driving and get in deep water! Otherwise too many carbs does that for me now.

How about you?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

So sorry you've not been well, I hope you enjoy your walk, I love walking and observing nature. However I find that if I over do it with walking I feel so exhausted and fatigued then the fibromyalgia pain gets worse and all I want to do is sleep,

I've noticed that if I eat too many carbs I feel sluggish and sleepy.

That's interesting about the palm oil in shop bought biscuits, i will watch out for that too thank you for the heads up.

How is your daughter and the birthday plans ?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Well, we are now thinking of going axe throwing as this seems to be some new exciting craze: I didn't know it even existed (but that doesn't necessarily mean it's new) but my daughter in America took my son and then laughed at me when I said something like "only in America". She promptly directed me on the Internet to show me that there is one within 5 miles of me!! And laughed out loud obviously.

Yep, feeling better today, so if it stops raining will get out there again, maybe to walk round the lake in a nearby park. nothing too much as me and my knees won't necessarily cope. Otherwise I'm going to wash the floors really well as my OH normally does it and I think the floor deserves better attention occasionally.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Axe throwing is new to me too I would have said "only in America" too lol

What a surprise that there is axe throwing close to you, I hope you have a great time and your throwing arm is strong.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Weird, isn't it? I wonder how many calories it will get rid of?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh yes lots of calories burnt off throwing axes around.

I do hope you all have a lovely time.

What else is on offer at the axe throwing venue? Will you be riding horses or firing a bow and arrow?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Lol, I don't know but I'll let you know! her birthday is next Thursday!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

I do hope you all have a wonderful time.

My mil's party is on sunday and I've been busy preparing everything, all the food, cake etc ... none of which I can eat, but I will be eating lots of fruit, carot sticks and dips with salad, potato salad and coleslaw so I will be careful to stay away from all the gluten foods.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Wishing you all a great day and hope you manage to tick to all the foods that are ok. My problem is that I can be absolutely 100% for the party bit and then when clearing up, I fall as it is only a taste etc. Congratulations and may she have many more happy healthy years surrounded by those who care for her and love her.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Thank you for your kind words, we had a great time the weather was great and loads of food enjoyed by all.

I was very good sticking to gf but the gf brownie was sooo lovely everyone liked it more than the non gf one and I had 3 or maybe 4 mouth sized little squares and I did have a bit of pavlova smothered with whipped cream and fresh fruit ... just delicious

I hope your parties are all a wonderful success.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I'm so happy for you. We have our next birthday on Thursday when my daughter turns 17 and I'm going to feed her up as much as I can. Forget birthday tea, as I have traditionally done in my home: birthday breakfast, lunch and supper: desperate for her to put on weight.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Bless you both, I do hope you all have a wonderful time, I hope she enjoys all the food prepared for her with love.

Xxx

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Hi how did the birthday party, axe throwing, birthday food for your daughter all go?

I have been thinking about you and hoping all is well.

I'm heading back to bonny scotland today with my husband, daughter, son-in-law and little Ethan my grandson.

It will be lovely to get home to our home and our wee dog Rosa.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi pamela22

The birthday was great. I made her breakfast in bed, of croissants and an iced coffee mixed with icecream as well, so she was chuffed. in the end, sandwiches (and salad for me) for lunch as my daughter wanted to go to an outlet mall. That was the real celebration as she is no longer a size 0!! Gone up to a 1 in ted Baker so that is a hooray moment. Then we walked along Chester's ancient walls for an hour or so and then back to make chow mein chickem for supper which was lovely although the noodles were too carby and I am now getting headachy and very tired just from that, now that I have limited that sort of intake. Axethrowing on Monday as then it is a shared birthday outing with my husband. I'm not going as too expensive but I'm going to go for a walk through Bronte country instead as it is nearby. Hope you settle back into life easily. Enjoy them all.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

That is fantastic news I'm so delighted that your daughter has gone up to a 1 ☺️👍

I have never been a 1 or anything low, I was a size 14 at age 12, when my periods started I blew up and never deflated below a size 16 ever since I had children.

How interesting that you were affected by the noodles, were they gluten free?

I had a lovely wee holiday in Bradwell the peak district but I'm so so so happy to be home now to my own comfy bed and my little dog Rosa.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Lol, I was never a 1 either, but she has spent the last 9 months as a 0, which was quite scary. I was a size 10/12 till my third child but am now in 18s. No, I didn't do gluten free as the rest of the family need the gluten, so generally I just steer clear.

Oh and I forgot the black forest gateau from the menu for the birthday girl: it is a family fave and so I generally make the same every birthday though my mother generally requests a lemon meringue pie, which I find more labour intensive but I do it anyway.

Bradwell and the peaks is a wonderful part of the country. We went for a walk in Cheshire and tomorrow, I'm exploring bronte country.

Hope you are having a healthy bank holiday weekend

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Hi how was bronte country ?

The weather was super hot here I hope it was ok with you and not too hot to enjoy the day with your family.

Xxx

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Oh the black forest gateau and lemon meringue pie sound delicious

Bronte country is beautiful I hope you have a lovely time.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Very wonderful cakes and Bronte country was divine. It was so misty that the family were dubious about me walking on my own whilst they went and did their stuff. But I prevailed: I get very upset when they think they can dictate to me: I revolt against being bossed by my kids and patronised by my husband! I like them to show concern but not be bossy and authoritative. Anyway, I went, walked 8 miles, the views were incredible, the air was fabulous, the waterfall was the most splendid oasis opening from quite difficult walking, and then a walk up on the moors. Absolutely fabulous except that the mist lifted and then I got very sunburned!! Not what I was expecting. Best day out in a very long time and they had a great time too axe throwing and archery so it all worked out well.

I think Tesco have recalibrated their scales and I'm not happy. Bite the bullet!!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Sounds like you had a wonderful time and so did your family

Your walk sounds amazing and I'm so like you.... I don't like to be patronized either... its lovely when they show concern but not bossy xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

It's strange, isn't it? You would expect as we become older and hopefully wiser that we are more in charge of our lives but somehow the entanglements (read great relationships) somehow impose a bit too much sometimes. I suppose that is the downside of enjoying family etc

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

I agree completely, our family has always been matriarch led with the men folk and children and their spouses following the "head female" as it were, everyone looking to her for guidance and stability in life what she says goes even down to what we all do when we get together the food especially as all our family get togethers are always based on food....

When my mum was I'll with cancer the family looked to me for the decision making it felt really weird stepping into her shoes but because she was so I'll I found I was able to rally round the family to make her final years/months/weeks a celebration of her life and family gatherings were set to her ability to join in.

The final months she was bed bound so I was able to spend lots of time with her 1 to 1 in her bedroom while my dad spent time with the rest of the family, mum and I talked and shared wonderful memories right to the end.

I now have the matriarch role and although I'm happy with it it can become a burden when I'm unwell. My family are very supportive but I would be happier if everyone could help out a bit more and take the responsibility in turns especially when I'm not well.

How does your family dynamics work ?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Family dynamics are weird aren't they? I guess I'm the matriarch in some ways and in others I'm treated as the one to be pushed around. I'm trying to figure out if I enable it in some way, and try to cope better. When I was constantly pregnant and feeding, I had to be a sergeant major in the home as I had 8 children in less than 13 years. My brain was jelly and I basically handed over all the finances to my husband as I couldn't think.

Now my youngest is 12, that situation is still the same and whilst I agree it is efficient, it can be disabling as well. We had issues with a couple of my kids stealing money from us and that was really tough as it meant I could never leave my handbag around and my husband always had pockets and I don't!! At one time I bought clothes based on secure pockets! It does mean that out of habit more than anything, that I don't have my own money although I'm the main bread winner and that can cause issues sometimes, although I love it that he does all the shopping!! I hate shopping.

I am definitely not the matriarch of the whole family as my mother also had cancer at aged 68 but she is now approaching 90. I am happy to be bossed around by her as I see that her caring and taking hold of herself and involving herself. i just don't like it when the teenagers copy her! Sometimes the teenagers boss me about because they need to even up the relationship and I get that. They just should do it respectfully! I have 3 teens at the mo but will have a 4th from November. When I had 5 teens at one point, I thought I was going to die!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh goodness me you have had a rough time of it 8 children in 12 years that is a lot for your body to cope with, and mentally the money side of things is a strain for you too especially the trust issues you have had to go through with your teens.

I'm so delighted that your mum managed to pull through the cancer and is still with you at approaching 90 wow what a strong determined woman she must be.

I lost my mum way too early she was only 68 the same age your mum was when she won the battle with her cancer.

I can understand your worries with money and handing over responsibility to your husband but try to look at it as one thing you don't need to worry or stress yourself over... if he is doing a great job balancing the books and keeping food on the table for everyone then you can leave him to it and use your time wisely, try to think of it as a positive good thing he is doing for you rather than a controlling thing.

Change your mindset and your outlook on any situation in life and it will be easier for you to cope with.

I say this with love not criticism at all my friend.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yes, that is the way I generally look at it as I have no time, with all the full time working and keeping in touch with all the children. But it gets on top of me at times like now, when I'm trying to get kids ready for the new term and I'm told there is no money for that. He is great at keeping the boat afloat, don't get me wrong. I appreciate your input.

The teens who stole are actually living together now and are working it out together! They are growing up into special people

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

I'm so delighted that your kids are living together and working it out together that must be a relief for you.

I understand completely the worry of getting everything ready for the return to school but don't worry too much everything will work out in the end, they will go back to school with whatever you can provide and they will cope the same way we do ... we don't have everything we need do we?? And we get by ... it's all part of growing up and coping with what life throws at us.

They will understand if you explain it to them with love ❤xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Yeah,, most of the time they do!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

That's good, you have been blessed with a lovely big family and I'm sure you are very proud of all of them and all you have achieved in life.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

So much more to achieve. Half way there but there is so much to aim for with each one.. They are all each a world in the making. Very exhausting process, but yes, I feel like a millionairess when I think of the future. I'm expecting my 4th grandchild soon, but I so want to sort my health out!!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh I hear you my friend, I am so proud of my daughters and all they have achieved but I appreciate there is so much more to come.

I like you feel blessed but I am needing to sort out my health too

I am finding like today that I am missing out on family get togethers because of my health .... I want to be well again and enjoy life to the full

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Absolutely! I feel that I can't do everything and also how I'm viewed by colleagues etc. all have an impact.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

I agree I would like to think that I can still achieve lots but my body has other ideas,.

I'm sad to hear that your colleagues are a problem to you, it's so hard to keep positive and keep going when your not happy at work.

My thoughts are with you my friend I hope you sleep well and you have a good day tomorrow.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

No, I am happy at work, but I do think that how we look and how we cope with exertion affects how others see us and relate to us. I think they take us less or more seriously, empathise more or less with us, respect us more or less and even employment opportunities change depending on our image that we project. My work shifts about as I get older as well and that is an interesting take and I want to start writing a book shortly to see if those inner thoughts can take a form that is worthy of being published.

But more importantly, I looked after myself today and tried to keep to our diet plan!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

I'm so pleased to hear your happy at work, it sounds intriguing that it "shifts about" do you mean physically shifting about?

Oh how exciting that your thinking about writing a book please keep me posted on your thoughts.

And well done on keeping to your diet plan and looking after yourself ... remember .... "you are the most important person in your life that you will ever know"!!!

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

That is a thought provoking quote! Yes, but the most neglected. Shifts about: yes, I have 6 different part time jobs this year, earning a higher wage rate than I did last year, though I only had 3 part time jobs last year. One was a maternity leave placement which was 25 hours a week and this has now been reduced to 5 hours and I'm quite cheerful about it as it means a lot less responsibility and I was getting a little burnt out. What about you?

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

6 different part time jobs... no wonder you are burnt out.

I burnt my candle at both ends and then started burning it in the middle too ... I was a college/uni lecturer before I retired through ill health.

I loved my job so much I would drive one and a half miles on terrible Scottish roads too and from work I took home bags and bags of marking to do at home and on top of this... I continued making round 3 or 4 cakes a week for cellebratinons, birthdays, leaving, christening, hen and stag do's, even wedding cakes I still enjoy the cake making and decorating and I have roped my daughter into it too, so she can help me when my fibromyalgia hits and I can't manage.

I do hope you are careful and don't make yourself I'll too my friend.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I'm so excited that you taught: I teach at 2 FE colleges, and am also consulting and training staff at 2 nurseries and was a nursery manager till 3 weeks ago. I'm grateful to have pulled out of management for the mo as I found I was being pulled by needs of children, parents, director, staff and Ofsted. Unfortunately, the staff often shouted longest and loudest and they often took priority when the children or at least my boss should. I'm relieved that I can put students first and then bosses now and that is all. Yes, I also love baking for celebrations, hence the black forest gateau etc. I am lucky that I don't have to travel far most of the time as one of the colleges I teach via SKYPE which has its own challenges. I travel to the college once a month instead.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh goodness what a coincidence that we are both lecturers, and I too used to work in and was deputy head in a nursery it was a community nursery so we had parents as governors overseeing everything which worked well until we had staffing and funding issues then everything needed to be past by the governors before we could go ahead which made it a much slower process and frustrating too.

I see now how you can have 6 part time jobs are they all in education??

I was visualising you running around between different jobs possibly as a carer or working in shops lol, so relieved your not.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Are we living parallel lives? Yes, all are in education, 2 as early years consultant, 2 in FE colleges (teaching History A), one in Manchester and 1 in Newcastle, and I'm working on developing a bespoke primary school curriculum as well as teaching EAL to foreign students in a 3rd FE college in Manchester. I think once the year starts, I'll get a handle on the timings but at the moment, I feel like I might not manage. But I am enjoying the thought of less being pushed around by staff/colleagues. Have a great weekend.

I went on a 10 mile walk yesterday but as it was flat, I don't feel so ill today!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

I think we may well be living parallel lives lol

I love the sound of you "working on developing a bespoke primary school curriculum as well as teaching EAL to foreign students" this sounds both challenging and fulfilling I really enjoyed my time in the nursery school coming up with new and interesting things for the pre-schoolers to do to help them progress easily to the primary school which was in the same grounds as our nursery, I used to enjoy liasing with the teachers to see what skills they were looking for the new pupils to achieve before they moved up.

Oh how I long for those days again ... but sadly my health is not as good as it was then.

The 10mile walk sounds lovely well done, was it through open countryside or through woods, or maybe on a beach or beside water?

Did you see much wildlife on your walk?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Ooh I'm jet lagged after a mega viewing session of Call the Midwife! 10 miles through woodland avenues, which shielded me from the sun this time. It was fun and it was flat so I wasn't so achy.

Yes, it is very fulfilling as I really feel I can support teachers and really have maximum input into a school by broadening the views of teachers as to what our goals for the children are. But sometimes I get involved and forget it may be late at night and I'm still working. Have to remember to clock off! My daughter is off back to college on Tuesday so back to last minute shopping for her.

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend and that your health is on an upward curve!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Your walk sounds lovely my little dog loves running through the woods and on the beach ... tbh she loves to run anywhere I sometimes I could match her energy levels lol

I think your jobs sound awesome and such an important role you have to ensure everyone gets a worthwhile education. I believe that with positive input and encouragement I have found that even those struggling to keep up can achieve great things.

I do hope your daughter is eating better now and can return to her studies after a much needed time at home in your loving care.

Dinner today for 9 as usual on a sunday, I love cooking for family, our get togethers are an ideal time to catch up on everyone's news.

My health is a little better thank you , I was able to do lots of sewing yesterday and then tidy up my sewing room ready for my next project.

I hope you have a lovely weekend and manage to spoil your daughter just a wee bit more before she is off to college again.

Xxx

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi, yes, we have our family gatherings on Saturday but they are for 6 as the rest are abroad. Yeah, lovely to sit down to eat together and not allow other things to get in the way. When we're all together now, it makes 18 and I've booked an old house for when we get together in December!

What is your sewing project like?

Lovely shopping trip today as I didn't spend money and my daughter showed her sense in choosing a dressing table at IKEA and then paying with her own earnings as she had a small summer holiday job in a local shop. Good to see her using her sense and initiative and choosing the best value for money to improve her room and not expect us to do it for her. Impressive bit of growing up and discernment.

Yes, filling her up again and sending her with lots of food.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs

Oh wow 18 of you getting together in December will be fantastic fun I do hope you all have a fantastic time, what do you do about christmas presents?

Do you buy only one gift per person? It must get expensive...

How lovely it is to see your daughter growing up and making good decisions with her hard earned money, proud mum moments are wonderful memories for the future.

The sewing projects that I finished yesterday were a busy book for my toddler grandson Ethan, he loved it when I gave him it today, especially the tiger with the opening mouth and the toothbrush to brush the tigers teeth.

I also made an apron from an upcycled hand embroidered tablecloth from a charity shop that we died denim blue, and made her a cloth needle book with some colourful material I had.

After that I sewed the velcro on 12 syringe driver bags that I made months ago for my Marie curie friend to give to her patients in their own homes on palitive care.

So next I'm working on a counting busy book for ethan, then altering a coat my daughter was sent in the wrong size she asked to be sent a size 12 but a size 8 arrived, she offered to return it but they gave her a refund and told her to keep the coat so... win win.

I'm putting black panels into the red coat and cutting up a sahari to make the lining.

Do you have any craft or sewing projects?

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I am quite uncreative actually, although my colleagues tell me that I am quite good at thinking up ideas for walls in the nursery and getting them up and exciting. Last year we based a theme of travelling around the world and so we decorated the building each month with a different theme and had activity days and I master minded that, but otherwise I'm quite wedded to my literary skills.

This term, I'm hoping to put aside an hour a day to writing pieces of my own. i don't know if they will be published or whether it will be inspirational pieces for my family, but I'm quite excited and so I suppose I am getting into creative writing, in a sense.

Presents tend to be for when we are together or when people travel to each other. I try to send birthday presents to all, but with a new grandchild as part of that 18 (due in the next couple of weeks, biting fingers) that one will probably be the focus.... As well as the 4 year old grand daughter and the 5 year old and 3 year old grandson. By the time we get there, my 2 youngest will be 13 and 15, so they will be fussed over but everyone else will just get small stuff to show our love and thought. They do like to show their appreciation of each other with small stuff and so will see something as they go about their daily lives and buy momentos that remind them of an occasion or someone and then give it. Very cute.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh how lovely that your family all buy little things with lots of thought behind each one, that is so much better than something bought with little imagination or consideration for the receiver of the gift.

I'm thrilled that you are going to be doing some creative writing and looking forward to hearing what it will be about.

I have an idea for you to get your creative juices going...

Could you create a poem or piece of creative writing, perhaps write down a special memory for each of your family members print it out on a scroll wrap it with ribbon and give it as a gift at christmas? Then everyone gets a personalised scroll and you get started with your creative writing ... win win 👍👍

Oh and you don't have to search for so many gifts to give too.. win again 👍😊

What do you think?

You have 4 months till christmas could you do it in this time?

There is a challenge for you my friend.

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Wow, I love it!! I'm starting today!

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Oh that's awesome news ... im so pleased I could help you in some way my friend... do let me know how you get on ❤👍

Xxx

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

Hi, are you OK? Haven't heard from you in days and I'm worrying that something has happened to you?? I lost 1.1lb this week so feeling that going in the right direction again even though had to restart. Been very busy this week but looking forward to a quiet weekend ahead of a busier week ahead.

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Me

Hi my friend sorry I've not been around to chat I do think about you every day how are you doing?

My mum in law is very I'll now, bed bound with multiple organ failure it's only a matter of time now.

The doctor increased her pain meds yesterday afternoon and she fell into a restful sleep for the first time in a good while.

It's hard to believe as I look at her in her hospital bed that only 2 weeks ago we came down here to have her 89th birthday party with the whole family including her great grandson Ethan.

When we rented the wee cottage down here for 2 weeks we saw her and took her out 3 times, her legs were so swollen then that she couldn't get her shoes on so she went out to dinner in her slippers but she was so determined and full of life nothing was going to stop her, not even the badly infected painful oozing ulcers on both her legs.

I fear it is only a matter of time now and it's hard for the family to believe when she was so feisty only 2 weeks ago.

Sorry if I'm not as up beat and chatty as usual

Love and hugs

❤❤

richard1962
richard19627lbs
in reply to pamela22

I'm so sorry!! It sounds like a very difficult situation and must be very hard on you all, but particularly your OH. And your mil obviously. Is she conscious? She must have really enjoyed her time for her party and that is good for you all to have memories, and hopefully pictures of. It must have been so nice for her to get to know Ethan.

I am chugging on here, and trying to keep well. Had a 18 hour flu bug that knocked me for 6, but I'm alright again. Just keeping on keeping on. I'm going to try to work on those poems tonight and tomorrow. I thought of a theme: I used to call all my children by different gem stone names as a trick to refocus my dumb head when I had very bad post natal depression: so I'm going to base the poems for them around those and hopefully find some momentos as well. So my oldest was Ruby and my second Topaz etc. Do you like that idea.

Chin up. Hope your mil gets comfort from you being with her and that the meds do their job well.

Be blessed xx

pamela22
pamela221st 7lbs
in reply to richard1962

Thank you for your kind words, yes we all had a lovely time at the party and I insisted on lots of photos especially the whole family group photos which were taken outside with the sun shining ... I set up a granny's group on messenger before the party so I could coordinate when everyone was able to attend ... I set the date, time and place and everyone replied ... so I've been using this group to give the whole family updates on how granny is getting on... in the last couple of days I've shared all the lovely photos of granny that I have on my phone and I've asked the rest of the family to do the same ... the response is wonderful lots of lovely happy photos for everyone to look back on and remember her ... rather than the frail wee toot in a hospital bed that she is now 😔😪

On Thursday she told us she had made a will but has no idea where it is ... so my oh and I have been systematically working through all the drawers and cupboards in her bedroom today... very emotional indeed. Tomorrow the living room, dining room and kitchen and last of all a huge walk in cupboard (that could be used as a bedroom) which is packed to the door ... she calls it the glory hole ... lol I'm not looking forward to emptying it at all.

Ok enough of my problems....

So sorry to hear you've not been well I do hope you are over it and feeling much better now.

I love love love your idea of calling your children after gem stones what a wonderfully creative idea....

The theme of gemstones for your poems and stories is fantastic... I would love to hear how you are getting on with them ... so excited for you

Better get some sleep now ... another long emotional day tomorrow, goodnight my friend

Love and hugs

❤❤

Xxx

It's such a clever idea. I think I'll work on it at the weekend. Poetry is not my strong point. But there is so much on line that I'll put in some attributes and see if a rhyme/ditty/ poem comes up that can be adapted for each specific child.

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