Growing up, I never struggled with weight or food. I never thought about food. I simply ate the food that was put in front of me and ate as much of it as I could. The more calories the better. Stuffing myself during school lunches. I would eat a lot but I would burn a lot. However, I would never eat more than I needed. I remember feeling disappointed that I could not finish cake or other delicious food because I was already full. At university I was so "un-addicted" to food that I would see food as a chore. I would feel inconvenienced that I had to interrupt my studying to go and eat! I was under 10% body fat until age 25.
At age 26 this all changed. During a surfing trip in Portugal filled with pastries, I started to become aware that I was becoming a little overweight. I made a decision for the first time in my life to go on a diet. For one week, I ate no sugar. It felt good, but looking back it also kick started an unhealthy relationship with food and a cycle of binging and fasting. Next I decided to go vegan, then raw vegan, then 8 hour intermittent fasting, then 3 day 24-hour fasting cycles, then vegetable juice fasts, then one bowl per meal, then calories-in-calories-out on MyFitnessPal and so on ... During every diet I was able to maintain the diet for 2 weeks to a month but then I relapsed and binged. And binged hard. I would often eat way beyond full. A couple of times I at so much I felt physically sick and threw up.
I tried removing all the restrictions and listening to my body but that just resulted in more bingeing and gaining weight. The only conclusion is that I have developed a food addiction. Over last three months I have gained 2kg every month and almost doubled my fat percentage. During which I was cycling for about 2 hours and doing gymnastics for 1.5 hours every single day. I don't know where to go from here.