update

following going through the survey, it concerns me that I've never really managed the balance between housekeeping and work since going away to Uni, Unfortunately I chose to go and got in to somewhere too far from home to be near extra help and felt at sea although not incapable . I had too much time on my hands at uni doing an Arts subject and was homesick and lonely. Things didn't get much better until I moved first to postgrad study in a more rural environment and then back home and the village I now live in. Still have a frustrating problem with housework v work and the voluntary things/social life I'm involved in.

[S11m]

Hi, Hidden

I am retired (and widowered) and the housework does not get done!

I do do a littler voluntary...

[Hidden in reply to S11m]

'bout keeping going isn't it really.

[S11m in reply to Hidden]

I hope it is not too much of a "bout".

[Hidden in reply to S11m]

tehe

[lucigret]

I'm not sure what survey you are referring to Fidlededee, but I have to say getting a home/work balance isn't always easy. I suppose it is about prioritising and doing what is important to you.

When I was in my 30's with 3 young children, it was very important to me to have a clean home and for the toys to be put away every night. I never neglected my children to make sure this was achieved but, I did put myself under an awful lot of pressure to be the 'perfect' wife and mum. I had a good friend who also had 2 children around the same age as mine. Her house was a tip, toys never put away, very untidy, washing up left stacked - her children were just as happy as mine. One day after Christmas she told me she had had a severe bleed and had been to the Doctor's - that June she died aged 36, leaving behind a 5 and 2 year old. I learnt a valuable lesson that year - I am so glad that she didn't waste all her time cleaning, but had loads of fun with her children - her 5 year old still remembers fun times, unfortunately the 2 year old was too young.

Just make sure the house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy. Cleaning is a thank less task, save it for the days you can't do something better.

Remember you work to live, not live to work, go out and enjoy the fun times - as my SIL likes to say - your a long time dead

[Hidden in reply to lucigret]

That's a sad story, I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. I pretty much do that anyway, prioritise that is but would like to get the house clean enough to get a lodger and I'm so far off the mark with that and a rescue cat isn't helping or at least in one way but not another. I also have a stamina problem due to a childhood surgery or rather management of stamina problem which is getting better but not where I would like it to be. Work in progress. Have had some good family fun times with wider network of family and friends this summer despite some losses, in the last five or so years.

[lucigret in reply to Hidden]

How about getting in a cleaner for a couple of hours a week. Some of them are really nice and helpful (say's me as I am one )

[Hidden in reply to lucigret]

yes I'm missing my cleaner, I stopped her because I thought I could do it better myself and at that point wanted to do so, also I couldn't afford it. Not sure I can afford it now either. will have to think about it.

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to lucigret]

What a moving story Lucigret ❤️

[lucigret in reply to IndigoBlue61]

It was a long long time ago, but I still think of her

[Hidden in reply to lucigret]

always the way, I have a long list of the people in my life that goes back a long way.

[IndigoBlue61]

Do you mean the health survey? I guess it’s only a problem if you don’t want to live in an untidy house. 😕

I am much more organised as I’ve got older, but I’m also realistic and don’t have a lot of ‘stuff’ around as I dislike cleaning. Some people are naturally tidy and disciplined, others aren’t. (I’m not) Could you maybe plan 30 minutes a day for housework, combine it with an exercise routine, put on some music and just do it? Maybe set a clock? Once you’re on top of things it should be easier 😊

[Hidden in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Hi, yes. it made me think about it though it came to me a while afterwards. I was fine when I had most of the domestic side done in a family environment - of course I had my own chores within that spectrum, the moment that vanished, I just gave up and concentrated on what I had to do towards my career. Unfortunately it meant I'm only now attempting thanks to motivational reading through my previous business to get back on track with both maintenance and budgeting. my to do list is back in action but it's taking a while to get through the first one. And keeping focused on one task only at a time is not that easy though I'm not bad at finishing things.