Lack of support/recognition for what weigh... - Weight Loss NHS

Weight Loss NHS
98,883 members52,067 posts

Lack of support/recognition for what weight you have lost


Hi I’ve been on a weight loss journey through a dietitian for 2 years now so far I’ve lost 2 stone. What gets me is I can loose 3/4lb one week then stop the same for rest of the month. I’m on a lot of medication for health reasons so know it’s harder to loose weight but I’m still averaging 1lb a week so that s fine with me. I’ve been following the C25k plan for 3 months now and feel better for it but people keep saying they can’t tell and I’m really feeling dishearten at the minute. I’ve gone down 3 clothes sizes over this time but feel any support I had has dwindled off. It’s almost like they don’t believe that I’m dieting or trying any more.

Does anyone have any advice on how to handle the negativity without damaging my motivation to do this for a better and healthier life

12 Replies

Good morning Pjb,

I am so sorry that other's are not noticing your losses. I have found that when you are around people all the time, you don't notice the changes as you would if you only saw them occasionally. You are also being sensible and loosing it slowly. This may be why they are not noticing. I would suggest that you don't bother to discuss it with them. As you loose more I am sure they will say they can see it in time. I do understand that you would like their support to keep you motivated, but you are doing this for you, not for them. I am sure one of the reasons they don't notice is because they love you what ever size you are, after all our weight does not define us as a person, our personality does that :) I do understand the frustrations though, I notice my SIL looks me up and down and I can see that she can see a difference, but she never says anything, I am past caring now, I'm not doing it for her.

Come on to the forum as much as you can, get to know people here and I can guarantee you will get so much support and we will always cheer you on and celebrate your success'.

You wait, one day you will be wearing something that fits you so well that they will do a double take :)

Just keep doing what you're doing and well done for your loss so far and in recognition of your hard work, I am going to go to the badge cupboard and shine up a 2 stone badge for you to wear with pride :)

izzy1981Restart Feb 2020
in reply to lucigret

Nice post.

in reply to izzy1981

Thank you Izzy 😊

Shazza52Restart July 2019

Well done u .do it for yourself u know u can get into smaller clothes squeeze through a smaller gap move that bit easier stick a note on your mirror saying well done me ! Say it to yourself every morning on waking was going to put a quote I read lol but can't remember it properly

izzy1981Restart Feb 2020

Firstly Well done on your amazing weight loss. Nobody seems to notice when I loose weight but for some reason they seem to think I have lost weight when I have put it back on. Like lucigret had said you are doing this for yourself and no one else. 3 dress sizes down that's a big wow wow well done for sticking to it. Its hard when no one notices and you start thinking why am I bothering but then you have to think to yourself why you are doing it in the first place. Why not keep posting your acheivements on here I am sure you will get good encouragement and feedback. You never know they will start noticing your big acheivements. As long as you are feeling better in yourself surely that is more important, don't worry about other people.

Good luck with your continued success.

Like you say Pjb, when it comes to weight loss, you're averaging 1lb a week, which is a good sensible loss. Our bodies aren't machines and tend to do their own thing. As long as you keep to plan the body knows what to do in the long run :)

I would try and move away from the feeling that you need other people to validate you. It is of little concern what they think and only that you're doing the right thing.

It's possible that they've all just got used to you losing weight and improving your fitness and it's all become a tadge mundane for them or perhaps they've reached a point where they're jealous or maybe (and I don't know this) you've mentioned it so much that they've had enough :O :) Whatever the reason(s), do it for yourself and remember that each step along your journey is another step where you are healthier.

Binky68Restart July 2019

Just do it for yourself .

Depending on your starting weight people often don’t notice until you’ve lost 3-4 stone .

My husband NEVER says anything positive about me losing weight . All he can think of is the impact in him as I don’t want to go out for meals etc. I’ve prioritised my health above going out for this year, if he can’t see how important it is that I dont die from obesity then he clearly cares more about himself 😔.

As far as others go, I have had mixed reaction ( I’ve lost 3 1/2 st in 14 weeks) with people either saying nothing or gushing .

I’ve come to conclusion that it’s me motivating me and others’ opinions are none of my business. I get all the support I need from fellow dieters on here xxxx

Thank you for your lovely comments x


How about joining in with today’s weigh in? You will get to know the people and can celebrate your losses and commiserate together when things go off track. You’ll get loads of support and can show off your badge 😊


Do it for you and you only and forget everyone else.


You're doing really well losing a pound/ week. Remember you're not doing It for others this is YOUR journey and the only person you have to please is yourself. Actually, Im quite sure they CAN see a difference . People can be funny about acknowledging weight loss. , almost as if they didn't want you to succeed. You'll get as much support as you'll ever need by coming here regularly as we've all been there and are on the same journey as yourself. Chin up and big hugs👍

Hidden1st 7lbs

The important thing is whether you are pleased with your progress. As lucigret mentioned, when talking to others about it, how you steer a conversation can make a real difference. Whether it's the activities you do to lose the weight, or the fact you've lost weight and x number of dress sizes. For me, the more interesting thing is the activity.

People you see frequently are unlikely to notice the incremental changes.

Well done on your losses so far, and keep it up. :-)

You may also like...