Weight loss sabotage

[Downandout123]

Why do you think that people on diets who are doing well, often keep sabotaging their diet efforts? Do you think it is no self control, lack of motivation, or something else? I keep.doing this over and over and over again. It's neverending. For me, it's probably a combination of the two, but I keep thinking-there must be more to it than that. I am not obese, maybe need to lose 20 pounds to look decent. But I HATE the way I look. I hate to go anywhere where a lot of people will be, especially if there will be someone there who I knew when I was young and thin. I am trying to figure out WHY????

[Hidden]

Good morning Downandout123 I don't have an answer to your question, however I think we all get like that sometimes

i am sorry to hear that you hate the way you look - have you got someone you can talk to? GP / practice nurse / family member on how you are feeling

Wishing you all the best

[Downandout123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I talk to friends about it. No one knows what to say.

[Hidden in reply to Downandout123]

Perhaps it maybe a good idea to speak to your GP

[Downandout123]

He just tells me what to eat and not eat. I don't believe he has answers to this.😕

[Lilli-Anna]

Hello Downadandout123, I hear you and I think this whole weight loss issue is more than just the number on the scale. There's an enormous emotional component that taps into our feelings of self-worth and value. I too would encourage you to not give up on finding someone you can really talk to.

Also, I believe it's possible to change the way we talk to ourselves, and that this is vital. For me, when I get into the negative spiral about how I look and how I keep sabotaging my efforts to improve in this area of my life (I'm on day 3 - again, for about the 200th time right now), I try to turn the negatives into positives: I may not be where I want to be, but I'm a lot closer for trying. Don'g give up. Everyone (EVERYONE) has value, why would that not include me? No matter how I look right now, or how I feel, I too have value. Am of worth. Matter. You do too. Really.

I eat when I'm bored, when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when someone else is, if there's something appealing in the pantry, when I'm on my own etc etc etc. I don't really need a reason, and at the same time there are many reasons that go into my decisions to sabotage myself. I'm working on changing that this time. Eating my vegetables will only take me so far; a certain dress size will only satisfy me for so long. Real change, and my sense of self-worth, has to be possible and it comes from within.

Sorry this got long, and I hope I'm not sounding preach-y. Your post struck me because I could have written it, and this is how I'm dealing with it. If you're a hug-gy person: (((hugs)))

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to Lilli-Anna]

You don't sound preach-y Lilli-Anna , you sound like someone who's given a lot of thought to a question that a lot of us struggle with, and gone a long way to finding some answers.

Good luck this time around Hope you get involved in events and activities around the forum for your own sake, but also because you have a lot to offer

[Lilli-Anna in reply to BridgeGirl]

Thank you marymanc, that's lovely of you to say. Yes, I'm hoping to be here to stay - knowing how much I need the accountability and encouragement, but also definitely wanting to encourage others. Have a wonderful day.

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to Lilli-Anna]

[anniedogwalker in reply to Lilli-Anna]

I also wanted to say how much I appreciated your reply to Downandout123. I think that when we feel helpless, helping others can be incredibly enpowering, taking us out of ourselves and giving us that sense of selfworth we so desperately need. That in itself gives us strength. I hope both you, Lilli-Anna and Downandout will be firm regulars and Downandout will feel more Upandabout! Good luck both.

[Downandout123 in reply to anniedogwalker]

Thank you so much Annie! 😊

[anniedogwalker in reply to Downandout123]

sStick to coming on the forum, there will be good days and bad ones but YOU are worth it and deserve to achieve your aims. Whenever there’s a blip in your good intentions, it does not mean it’s the end of the road, it’s just part of the journey! We believe in you, be good to yourself!

[Downandout123 in reply to anniedogwalker]

Thank you! I appreciate your kindness! 😊

[Lilli-Anna in reply to anniedogwalker]

Thank you Annie, it's nice to 'meet you! I thoroughly agree. I'm at a really busy patch in life at the moment, but am trying to pop in here once in the day to read and respond to at least someone. It's spurring me on to make good choices in the day!

I do hope things are going well for you today, Downandout123 .

[Downandout123 in reply to Lilli-Anna]

Thank you Lilli-Anna,

As it is only 8:40 A. M. here right now, it's too early to tell how the day will go! Lol

[Lilli-Anna in reply to Downandout123]

Haha, I'm in Australia so am about to head to bed at 10.45pm! Enjoy your day.

[Downandout123 in reply to Lilli-Anna]

Thank you!😊

[IvanTheHorrible Maintainer]

In what way do you sabotage your diet?

IMO what happens to most people is that they simply get hungry. Caloric restriction produces hunger, and people are driven to eat. Because they don't know WHAT to eat to sate hunger while maintaining fat burn, they end up bingeing on a bumper pack of Oreos. They then blame themselves for lack of self-control, and so it goes, in a descending circle of self-loathing and failure.

The way to break out of the circle is to simply realise that some things make you fat and some things don't. There are only two methods for losing weight: starve yourself (either slowly or quickly), or stop consuming fattening foods. The former only works for a week or two because two things happen: a) your body switches to eco-mode and starts conserving fat and (b) as noted, you get really, really hungry. The latter method, because it doesn't cause relentless hunger, can be sustained indefinitely.

[Tiggerr]

As Ivanthehorrible has already pointed out, many people don't understand how to feed themselves correctly (and I was one of them) so starve themselves and don't eat satiating foods with good fats. Then comes craving, bingeing and remorse which leads to giving up.

The NHS 12 week plan is designed to mitigate against that by reducing weight slowly and eating the right foods.

Good luck!

[moreless Administrator 7 stone]

How confident were you when you were slimmer, Downandout? Maybe you're expecting a loss of weight to somehow change how you think and feel about yourself and when you start to lose weight, you subconsciously panic about losing the 'reason' for your low self-esteem? It's much easier to blame our weight for all that ails us, rather than deal with the underlying truths.

You may get some more assistance from this community?

healthunlocked.com/beyond-b...

[Tiggerr]

I replied earlier, but really I was only replying to your first line and even then, my response was very one dimensional (a bit early in the morning ).

You're right, pure self control may also be a factor and for some reason, it's easy to forget what motivates us. I can forget from one hour to the next and have written down a list of all my reasons to be healthier, that I have close at hand to remind me.

You appear to have a low self image and that in itself is going to go someway to sabotaging your efforts. Try to understand that the person you are is not defined by any specific weight or look, than it is to the way you cut your hair. I'm sure you're a lovely person, who people like to know and that is the person you should be when you deal with your life (I know, easier said than done

Are you following the NHS 12 week plan? Did something go wrong? Did you plan today, yesterday... still time to do so now Intrinsically, there are lots and lots of things that can be done to change the habits of a lifetime, so keep posting here and you will find the support you need to turn things around.

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone]

I hope all these replies give you a few different angles to consider Downandout123 , and that you will stay involved with the forum. Reading (and, even better, joining in) discussions, weigh-in, daily diary, will give you an insight into how others are dealing with changing their eating habits, both practically and emotionally

[Downandout123]

Thank you for all of your responses. I really appreciate it!! I'll tell myself-I will never eat such and such again. I'm talking about really bad junk food, which I seem to live on! A few weeks will go by, I'll be ok, but then I'll say-ok-I'll buy one bag or one box of whatever it is. After that, it's the beginning of the end. I cannot control myself and want to keep eating and eating the bad food. I also must say that I have a very bad sweet tooth. 😕 I think it's my lack of patience with ANYTHING in my life that sets me out to fail too. It's like-"Let's gooooooooo-I want this NOW and I don't wait to wait weeks to see a difference."!! Not very mature. I know. Just being honest here.😕 My looks have always defined who I am.Ever since I was young and thin. The weight didn't start coming on until my pregnancy. I was nearly 31 when I had my daughter and it's been a rollercoaster ride ever since! Plus, I'm trying to date again, and I CANNOT date at this weight. I am embarrassed of my body. 😔

[Mission17 Restart Dec 2023]

I played around with dieting for years and got steadily bigger. I was always fairly fit and got good health results but wasn’t happy with my weight. Then I got a health check and all my results had dropped. That , and losing my dad,gave me the push I needed to get myself sorted. I really think you have to be in the right frame of mind and realise you are in it for the long term. Healthy eating is Forever actually 😂. This forum is a great help as others go through the same peaks and troughs as you and you get lots of encouragement. Stick with it is the best advice I can give you.

[Downandout123 in reply to Mission17]

Thank you!