Fat,fed up failure: First diary entry... - Weight Loss Support

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Fat,fed up failure

leither55 profile image
48 Replies

First diary entry for me. Every morning I wake to thoughts off “today is the day “ until i put the first morsel of food into my mouth I cannot stop eating. I’m so aware that being so obese is probably killing me. Certainly not helping with my mobility. Any advise on best way to start. Over the years I have increased my appetite I’m convinced by following slimming world eat as much as you like foods. Tomorrow is another day. I will try again.

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leither55 profile image
leither55
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48 Replies
Sammi24070905 profile image
Sammi240709057lbs

Tomorrow is certainly another day. My best advice is preparation and drink lots and lots of fluid. Get a good nights sleep and it’ll make the world of difference. Once you feel your getting out of control with your food for the day pop on here and we can all support you through it and help you to avoid over filling 😊 tomorrow IS your day x

leither55 profile image
leither55 in reply to Sammi24070905

Thank you for those kind words. Tomorrow is my day. 🙏🏻

Sammi24070905 profile image
Sammi240709057lbs in reply to leither55

We can do this together 👍

Tal65 profile image
Tal65

Tomorrow is another day and we are all here for you

leither55 profile image
leither55 in reply to Tal65

Thank you

87down profile image
87down

Hello and welcome leither55 . have you decided how you want to do this? I decided I didn't waiting go to a slimming club as I resent paying them and although I have lost weight with them in the past I always went back to my old habits at some point. I know now it has to be a permanent monitoring because even when you think you have cracked it something comes up in your life and tips you off and you have to get hold of things quickly before you let one bad day/week undo all you have done. You say you can't stop eating have you read Dr Rangan Chatterjee 's book The 4 pillar plan he explains about the hormone that lets you know you are full and has a really down to earth approach. You may find it helpful. I wish you luck on your journey and look forward to your posts-you can sort this 👍

13Valerie profile image
13Valerie in reply to 87down

I love book recommendations... thanks😀

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministratorSS Supercook2 stone in reply to 87down

Great reply, very constructive :)

leither55 profile image
leither55

Thank you for recommended book. I will certainly look this out. I am open to anything that will help me regain control. I have been diagnosed with a binge eating disorder and am trying to master mindfulness. It is a difficult thing to practice, however I am at least trying everyday.

13Valerie profile image
13Valerie in reply to leither55

Mindfulness is a practice. .. it needs to be worked on every day.

You're already making positive changes😀

87down profile image
87down in reply to leither55

I use the headspace app to help with my issues x

Sophie68 profile image
Sophie68 in reply to 87down

I used mindfulness a few years ago and I found it really effective. I am trying to get back into it again and like 87down I am trying Headspace. Good luck, one step at a time.

Dj9ao profile image
Dj9ao

I have been doing the same for a whole year!

What worked for me before was thing I want to have a healthier diet for the rest of my life

Every ime I think of it as weight loss I eat more than I want to☺

leither55 profile image
leither55 in reply to Dj9ao

dn9ao I reflected over my eating overnight and realised (penny dropped) that being on a diet/diets have contributed to my weight gain and failure. You are absolutely right, I have to focus on healthy eating, making better choices for life and not a period of time .

Thanks for message

Dj9ao profile image
Dj9ao in reply to leither55

I find if I think it as changing to good eating habits for the rest of your life it is less pressure, no failing only learning from mistakes,

Where if I think of it as a diet it has more negative connotations and I feel pressured if I don't achieve it,

LuChan profile image
LuChan in reply to leither55

I love your positive attitude, that is just the right way to approach this challenge, good luck ☺

13Valerie profile image
13Valerie

Keep it simple leither55

If you're overweight its because you're eating too much.

I don't mean that to sound harsh but to really get to the point.

You're right... every day is a new opportunity. Only you can make it work.

Keep it simple😀

leither55 profile image
leither55 in reply to 13Valerie

Truth hurts but you are absolutely right. I eat to much and fight a battle everyday not to. ThAnk you for candid reply.

MEJones profile image
MEJones

Hi leither55

Your positive attitude is what’s going to get you on your weight loss path & keep you on there :) don’t forget to go easy on yourself though if you slip sometimes as you’re only human. BED is a neurological condition & cant be helped and it’s important to remember that when you are in the mist of a binge it’s just the same as someone with anoerexia restricting their intake, you don’t want to do it, but it’s a compulsion that completely overrides you.

When I started my weight loss journey, I started small by just making little swaps such as full sized chocolate bars for mini alternatives, this way it didn’t feel like I was denying myself the things I liked. Also the best tip I can give you is if you don’t buy it/ have it in the house then you can’t eat it! It takes as awful lot more effort to go and get something from the shop than just going to The cupboard.

Keep hydrated as dehydration can make you really hungry and if you can get as much movent in as possible, even if it’s only tiny little amounts, they all add up. Even doing chair based exercises or stretches can help.

Good luck on your journey :) x

leither55 profile image
leither55 in reply to MEJones

Thank you for reply, I have decided to make a plan of action and the first thing I'm going to do is clear out my food cupboards, I am going to try and shop on line home delivery and hopefully make good choices. You may have hit a point as I really don't drink an awful lot of fluids, I will make a conscious effort to try and increase.

Pickle_77 profile image
Pickle_77

Hi leither55

i think that for me I do emotionally eat ... having been through many bereavements ( from age 38 ) my real “issues “ with food started ... I’ve had counselling which for me helped loads ... I don’t think losing weight is as straight forward as ... “eat this don’t eat that “ ... but saying that this community is a wonderful place to start and I really hope it helps you loads ! ... we all have our lives to contend with and food is such a comfort let’s face it ;0) ... and choc is always my best friend when I feel desperately lonely or upset .. it’s comforting to know that we are not alone in how we feel with food ...

junk food is so addictive ... that is why a certain donut shop sells i12 in a box .. because fat, sugar and wheat are a cocktail of addictive ingredients .. it’s not your fault it’s not our fault ..i am so glad that 87down has recemmmeded a book to you ;0) .. I like Gillian Riley’s “dithching diets ..but it’s not everybody’s cuppa tea of course .. the thought of not following a plan can panic some ...

good luck to you and don’t be hard on yourself ;9) xx sending a big ((hug )))

leither55 profile image
leither55 in reply to Pickle_77

Good luck to you also..I completely relate to eating for emotional comfort..this site hopefully will give us the emotional support to beat these food demons once and for all..best of luck on your journey ..

Pickle_77 profile image
Pickle_77 in reply to Pickle_77

Thank you ...

🙋‍♀️🌸

Conquistador profile image
Conquistador

Tomorrow is a new day, but there are still plenty of hours left today.

Don't put off that glass of water or that five minute walk around the block because you feel down about the rest of the day, every little helps.

I find eating is my problem, too, and in the past i have tried too hard to burn off everything I ate - it doesn't work like that. I advise the small walk because it is something which can be kept up forever, and it's the long-term changes which matter.

As soon as you think 'today is not the day, it is ruined' have a glass of water. Or no added sugar cordial. I like my cordial weak, so I don't think it has too bad an impact on my teeth if I opt for that instead (and honestly, that's where most of my fluid intake comes from - it's easier when the drink tastes nice) (side note).

Don't wait for tomorrow, because eventually tomorrow will run out (for everyone, I'm pretty sure I was convinced of that by a Bear Grylls book and it comes in useful for all elements of life - not that I always remember to act on it).

I recommend a large water bottle, too. Opaque if you're self conscious about drinking juice (like me). Not a 2L thing, just something over 500 because then it is always with you. Fewer trips to the kitchen (where the temptations are, typically) to refill. Much easier to drink more, then. And it is easier to then reach for the drink when a mild hunger pang strikes, rather than he ad straight for the kitchen. Fluid is a filler.

Also, have a good think about what prompts your eating habit. That's fundamental, but not knowing doesnt mean waiting until then - this is just something to figure out along the way. (Sorry I can't advise more on how to, it is only something I recently discovered myself: HALT. if I'm Hungry, Angry, Lonely and/or Tired, I need to reflect, calm down and figure out how to proceed healthily. I emotionally eat. I emotionally do a lot, hence the acronym is useful for making me mindfully aware of myself).

Good luck! It isn't impossible.

IndigoBlue61 profile image
IndigoBlue61 in reply to Conquistador

Great response Conquistador, especially “Don't wait for tomorrow, because eventually tomorrow will run out” 😊

I also like the HALT acronym, very thought provoking

Thank you

IndigoBlue61 profile image
IndigoBlue61

I hope you have had chance to read all the information Moreless gave you in your initial post leither55 healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

I agree that SW wouldn’t work for me either as I need the strict boundaries of calorie counting, but I would recomend double checking your target allowance here nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyw.... We always advise starting towards the top of the range, being hungry is the single biggest cause of weight loss failure.

Also, try to come onto the forum regularly, daily if you can, it really helps. We have a meal planning thread that’s very useful and also a daily chat thread 😊

Good luck

leither55 profile image
leither55 in reply to IndigoBlue61

I am back today and still finding my way around site as I am not very technical..feeling supported is wonderful and I will try my very best to take on board all the lovely comments and advise..Thank you

IndigoBlue61 profile image
IndigoBlue61 in reply to leither55

Just keep referring back to the Welcome Newbies Post and ask if you have any questions 😊

Good luck

Devanah16 profile image
Devanah16 in reply to leither55

That's the great thing about this page, everyone is so lovely and so supportive, I only joined at the beginning of the week, so I am a newbie too, baby steps, we'll all get there together :-)

Willow27 profile image
Willow27

Hi, I have just started to do the Brunch instead of brekkie and lunch. This is definitely helping. If hungry in the afternoon, I’ve started nibbling on seeds. Yes I know, i’m Not a bird, but actually this helps. Perhaps it is just the “putting something in my mouth!” I find the only part of the day really hard now is the evening meal. My husband can eat pie and chips and not put on an ounce, so I have to do different meals for him. I must add this is my weekday routine, I don’t follow it rigidly at the weekends. Just keep on trying even if you feel that every day is day 1. Xx

BridgeGirl profile image
BridgeGirlAdministratorSS Supercook2 stone in reply to Willow27

We have so many habits about food that build up over years, and we can't shift them all at once. You're right, "just keep on trying" :)

helengilkison profile image
helengilkison

Hi there, I am new to this forum but think that the most important thing is to just try to make small changes and things will improve. Everyone is here for you and you can do it!

IndigoBlue61 profile image
IndigoBlue61 in reply to helengilkison

Hello and welcome Helen and also to you Willow27 😊. To help you find your way around, and enjoy all the things we have on offer, please read the Welcome Newbies Post here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

Take your time to read it carefully as it has lots of useful information.

If you are following the NHS 12 Week plan please be aware that the 1400 calorie target suggested is a generic amount, so please check your own personal calorie target here. nhs.uk/Livewell/loseweight/...

We always advise starting towards the top of the range, being hungry is the single biggest cause of weight loss failure.

Best wishes

Anna

cazpetal profile image
cazpetal

Great to read all the good advice here.. The best thing that works for me is to take it one small step at a time.. When I wake up, I dont go straight for breakfast.. leave it a while, and if its possible timewise do some gentle stetches.. think about what your body really wants for breakfast/brunch.. visualise the healthy options.. once that first step is done and you eat a healthy breakfast you feel so much better and set up for the day. It makes you far more likely to make healthy choices for lunch, then dinner because you dont want to ruin your healthy day. It inly takes a few days for me and my body shifts into wanting the fresh healthy options. Good luck.. we're all here eith you! And I need to take my own advice lol xx

Pitterpatter3 profile image
Pitterpatter3

Start when you have a plan set out and you’re in the zone in terms of mindset and motivation. You have to REALLY want it x then Go, go,go....

Sammi24070905 profile image
Sammi240709057lbs

Hello! I hope today is a much better day for you :) something I was thinking about that I’ve been doing for the last 2 weeks is always having a small notebook with me .. before I eat I work out the calories and write it down. I found that before I did this over eating was really easy as I didn’t know what calories were in what I was eating now it’s a deterrent for me that I think oh it’s going to send me over my calories and I don’t want that so that really helped me x

Johnnyagar profile image
Johnnyagar

Well lots of great stuff here for you to work on.

My advice is keep it simple. If you don't change what you always did, you will continue to get what you always got. And never ever use the words Failure and Fat. I lost 3.5 stone in 17 weeks with slimming world and if like me you need a crutch maybe that is the link you need.

Get rid of all the stuff that is killing you and get loads of fruit and veg. There is loads of nice fruit out there to replace your snacks that pile on the pounds. Water is free and sugar free and skimmed milk has far let fat. Cut off all visible fat from meat, better still turn to just chicken without skin and fish and start looking at Quorn. Start looking at the colour codes indicating low fats and sugars, if its more than 1% fat, forget it. If you like bear and wine replace it with Gin and slime line mixers or better still get rid of alcohol all together. This will help you develop a Positive Mental Attitude.

Along with all the other advice here, what ever you choose, weigh yourself, try it for a week, then weigh your self again. If you have been honest with your self then you will begin to see the change. Start in earnest, that first week is just the start of your new journey, you can do it and if your family is behind you they will make it easier.

Finally, see if your Doctor can help in any way.

Good luck for day one.

Devanah16 profile image
Devanah16

Hi Leither. firstly you are not a failure, at least you are trying to do something about your weight, so cut yourself a bit of slack, I go to slimming world too and they say 'be kind to yourself', one day at a time x

hannahn27 profile image
hannahn27

Hi leither,

I to am a newbie having joined this week! I can relate to feeling like once you have started eating feeling a loss of control. Just knowing that there is a safe place and supportive community here is a reassurance for myself and I'm sure you will also find the same thing as everyone here is really kind and encouraging with their words and thoughts. Good luck :)

Su333 profile image
Su333

You’re not on your own,I certainly know how you feel!

Cookie101 profile image
Cookie101

If you can't stop eating, make it work in your favour. Aim for healthy, whole food. Kale massaged with lemon juice, carrots with hummus, train yourself to aim for the good stuff.

Missyboobah profile image
Missyboobah

Hi, poor you I’m the same and know how you are feeling, do you feel juicing is something you can do, have a clean break from food and reboot your emotions and eating habits, perhaps watch a film on Netflix called fat sick and nearly dead , really inspiring, I’m giving that ago, good luck x

katy9617 profile image
katy9617

hi leither and welcome. please please do not give up. even if you trade one snack for a healthy one you have begun the fight. if you will please keep posting and reading here, I know we can help keep you motivated if you will just let us. I have the same problem most days but I just keep going. if I can trade one unhealthy meal or snack for a healthy one, then I have accomplished something good. you are not a failure! as long as you try something everyday, you are an accomplishment! do drink lots of water. I notice when I am eating an unhealthy snack or meal, I do not drink anything as I want to leave plenty of room for the food. if I drink water or iced tea (I'm from Texas), then I don't eat so much. I promise this will work for you too. please don't get so discouraged!

Silentninja profile image
Silentninja

I have been there so many times, you are not alone! I keep tellong myself that now is the rigjt time and i start off well but fall off the wagon so soon. Don't give up, we have all been there, we will suceed at some point!

You can be sure that you are not alone. You will find so much support on here. When you get the urge to eat and it’s not ‘meal time’ try drinking a glass of water. It will fill your stomach and may stave off the urge to eat. Also try and find something for your hands to do. Sewing is a good thing to do as you can get engrossed in what you are doing and distracts your brain. You can do this 😊

Diana profile image
Diana

What a post, I think all of here has thought what a journey will I succeed?

I think that although you have an eating disorder, you need help to cope, the book reads are a good start, accept that hormones do plat a part too.

I used to get PMT many moons ago, and took magnesium ok, I think it’s still around and stopped my 2 binge day cravings, which was madness!

I accept that sometimes I just need a chat from those nearest to me and a job lot of cat cuddles , which are plentiful and purrs bless her 🙂.

Please plan, plan, and plan, it really does help, as do portion packs for me, occupy your hands if you can, this helps to, read, or whatever and distract

13Valerie profile image
13Valerie

How are you getting on today leither55 ?

I was wondering if you are eating enough nutritious healthy food ?

If you are not hungry, then you are eating out of habit.

Habits can be changed!!

Good luck😀

anniedogwalker profile image
anniedogwalker

Today is the day, even if you have eaten something, it does not mean the whole day is wasted! Start your day anytime of the day and tell yourself that you won’t eat this minute, this hour. Noone can face a change that big by telling themselves that once you start you must not eat. Start by small changes, don’t have sugar in your tea (if you have sugar in your tea!) or have one teaspoon less, don’t have the whole packet of biscuit, have 4! Bit by bit you get used to it. I understand what you’re going through, I’d go for thw whole day eating healthily then, come the evening, I’d have 3 big bars of Cadburys, a couple of icecream packs, end up with extremely painful stomach and throwing up! You can do this leither55!

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