So I have been contemplating why I go out and buy unhealthy food "to make myself feel better" and "get through the day".
Here are the events and triggers:
1. Anxiety levels high, I don't think I can get through it and last time I let people down.
2. I need this treat! (Just made an excuse and gave myself permission there, didn't I! Excitement level 8/10)
3. On my way to the shop. (Excitement level 10/10).
4. At the shop, decisions decisions. Dairy milk, but those white chocolate chip cookies look realllly nice. Ooooh a brownie!! I can get one.... Or get them all! (Excitement level 8/10).
5. Ashamed at the checkout but I buy it anyway. Hey its for sharing... (hoping the other person thinks this - excitement level 5/10).
6. Get to a quiet corner and hope nobody is there or hide everything in the bag and sneak little bits out while nobody is looking (excitement level 7/10).
7. 20 minutes, all gone. Guilty, stuffed, feel sick. That was probably about 2000 calories (I know, I once put all of it into myfitnesspal).
8. Anxiety levels start to climb up again. Usually either I go back to step 2 or stressed that I cannot control the anxiety. Step 2 normally wins!
There, I have just put into writing everything I go through and the sole reason for my weight!
It is true what they say - the chase was better than the catch!