Ashamed.

You guys are my last resort. I’m massively overweight, I quit smoking last April and since then my weight and anxiety has spiralled. I weighed tonight and I’m ashamed of what I am. I’m concerned for health if I don’t change soon.. I need the willpower to stick to a healthy eating plan and not feel so helpless that I fail as I always have.

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22 Replies

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  • Hi and welcome, Elishaaa :)

    I'd like to invite you to join our Newbie Club, which we hope will be a good place for you to connect with members, who are also just starting out. If you just post a few words to introduce yourself and respond to others there, you'll soon break the ice. Here's the link

    healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

    You'll find all the information you need to navigate the forum in the header, so please take the time to read it carefully.

    Wishing you all the best :)

  • Hello Elishaaa and welcome.

    Firstly please let me ask you not to feel ashamed of yourself. Your weight is a transitory thing that you can deal with and we are here to help you. You're amongst people who are in a similar boat to you so you are not alone.

    In giving up smoking you have shown yourself to have strong will power and deserve huge congratulations.

    In order to help yourself, do make sure that you follow the link that moreless has provided and that you read everything in the post. I would recommend that you then especially follow the link to the NHS 12 week plan that is there. Many of us have followed it to good effect.

    On top of that, try and read the posts here daily and their replies. They can make a big difference in their own right.

    Wishing you all the best.

  • Thank you so much! Just printing the plan now! I feel very positive and motivated since reading the link! Thank you all x

  • Glad you found it. It's no exaggeration that it's turned my life around.

    My next biggest tip is as I suggested earlier... log on here as much as you can and try to get involved as much as possible. Whether you're feeling elated with your progress or feel like it will never go right, stay in touch and you will make it through.

  • Oh Elishaaa , don't ever be ashamed! Everyone of us on this forum is aiming for a healthier and happier existence. So why not you too? Well done for realising that you need help, and coming on here to get it.

    If you've stopped smoking, then you really do have an abundance of willpower. Channel it into eating healthily and you should see results pdq.

    Are you going to weigh in with the Monday Mass Movers? Any day will be glad to have you...xx

  • Aw thank you so much!! Yeah I think I will. I’m just finding my way around but I think that’ll definitely benefit me! Thank you so much for being so kind x

  • Hi Elishaaa, I'm an ex smoker. I started at a very young age. I was in primary school. My parents divorced and hung out with the wrong crowd.

    I tried quitting several times and this time around it has been over 5 years. I don't miss it and can't stand the smell now.

    This forum is ace! The admins are very helpful and supportive.

    I wish you luck.

  • Hello Elishaaa , take strength from the fact you gave up smoking - that must have been a huge challenge, and you did it!

    Don't let yourself be overwhelmed by how much you have to lose, just keep in mind why you want to make these changes, make a plan (I'm another one following the NHS plan) and set yourself mini targets, steps along the way. Give yourself a pat on the back with every success and don't beat yourself up if you have any blips.

    Get involved on this forum - there are loads of new people like yourself in the past couple of weeks, and loads of us at different stages, so plenty of ideas and support to be shared around :)

  • Welcome, the best move you can make is coming on here regularly. Giving and receiving support is so affirming.

    Believe you can do this and you will.

  • Good morning and well done for making the decision to make healthy choices. It's only my 3rd day here and everyone has me believing I can do this. I wish you every success! x

  • Because you can PurpleLass, definitely when you get involved like this.

  • Good morning, just like to wish you well on your weight lose journey.

    You mentioned anxiety, have you tried therapy for this. They can teach you strategies to manage anxiety. I had anxiety as a side effect of medication in my case, but learning how to handle anxiety is key to getting better, just a thought.

  • Good thought Honey.

  • Hi and welcome. Good luck with your new healthy eating and weight loss, you can do it xx

  • Hello Elishaaa, please don’t feel ashamed. Quitting smoking is so hard and you’ve done it. Losing weight is pretty hard too but be motivated by your achievements so far and be determined to release the gorgeous you. I’m an anxious person too and for me, Mindfulness helps. There is some stuff about it on the NHS website which is good but you can also get plenty of books for beginners. Anxiety and comfort eating and drinking do rather go together. I’m much like you, ex smoker but my downfall has been food and drinking too much. Take heart from the fact that we are all in the same boat and trying to become more healthy and beautiful (well, one can dream). You should have no shame, you are great, keep at it.

  • Really good point and you've just reminded me that there's a daily Mindfulness post here that is absolutely brilliant and helped me a lot when I first came here. This is today's one which can always be found under 'Pinned Posts'...

    healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

  • Hi

    Don't be ashamed.

    List your positives -

    You have will power to quit the cigs which is very hard.

    You know what you want and have hit on the right site to help you

    You have started your journey

    You have good insight to know that your health can and will improve

    Good luck on the way

  • Well done Elishaaa

    Your journey to a healthier life started with giving up smoking last year. Congratulations 😂

    You've already changed habits and you know how it feels to be successful. The next step is to change your eating habits.

    Have you a plan? Do you know how much weight you want to lose? A lot of people here find setting mini goals very helpful... Like half a stone at a time.

    Take your time finding your way around the forum. Post often and let us know how you are doing. I'm really looking forward to cheering you on 😅

  • Whilst you shouldn’t be ashamed, you can view it as a choice. You can either work hard for a number of months or a year to get down to a healthy and happy weight, or you can face a future of feeling ashamed and not living the best life you could due to your weight.

    This isn’t meant to sound like tough-love at all, this sort of thinking has helped me on days I haven’t felt like eating healthy or doing exercises - remember there is a long term gain that comes from doing those things!

  • welcome Elishaaa and good for you for finding the forum. if you will hang out with us, you will learn all kinds of stuff like how to change your life forever. But don't be ashamed honey, I am where you are and all of us are or have been where you are. it is so wonderful when you learn to love yourself and realize you are worthy of all you have and more. yes, join the newbie club, post and read posts. this forum is the best place I have ever found for support and the like and I know you will enjoy being able to be yourself here. I know I am, it is the one place I feel completely comfortable so far ( I will learn to be comfortable elsewhere soon but I am working on that). you can tell us anything by clicking the post on the right says what's happening today if you just want to vent about other things. I use that myself. chin up darling... it will get better!

  • I would say put the ashamed stuff to one side, it's not helpful and will only put you back into the self hating spiral, tell yourself you are worth the effort and you are.

    Sadly it's like emptying a barrel with a thimble but each thimbleful is less of you, if you fall off now and then that's normal and not another chance to go down the self hating route, I've made quite a few assumptions here but these are from my own experiences..(Mostly of peering at myself and thinking oh FFS!)

    Treat it like the smoking a lifestyle choice not a punishing trial...

    Hang in there, there's plenty of good people here who will not judge but will encourage and support..

    One might even be me!

    Go you...

  • Hi Elishaaaaaa - whenever a 'friend' of mine tells me things like 'you can't help being fat,I read it in the Express' (there have been lots of comments over the years -and he is not really a friend,just someone I fail to avoid occasionally) I happily point out to him that smoking always has been far worse ,especially cheap cigars . He really fancies himself as a bit of a 'racehorse' even though he still wears his hair in an Elvis quiff and is in his late 70's.Personally I would not ever have given him a second look........I might be fat but I am very fussy .I started in Feb last year .Got the same job to do this year and will still be clinically obese if I succeed . Fat as butter,you see . You giving up smoking is an immense achievement .One thing at a time - but you will succeed with a weightloss plan .Just choose a way that suits you as a long-term strategy .It will work .

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