I have spent more than 25 years (more than half my life) wishing I was lighter and hoping to simply not "think" about food anymore. The irony is, I only need to drop 12 kg (1 to 2 stone) to be a mid range bmi. Not hard, and given the amount of rubbish I eat daily, not hard at all, if I were to simply cut the rubbish out. Like many people here, i do know exactly what i should and should not be eating. And, like many others, i sabotage myself daily. I am quite active, garden p/t for work, sometimes run, walk a lot, and i am very strong, so fitness is not a problem. Funnily enough, neither is eating healthily. I am vegetarian and LOVE vegetables, fish and healthy stuff and am a reasonable cook - my problem is very much all the rubbish I eat on top of my healthy lifestyle!
Where does being muddled come into it? Because I yo yo between thinking I am fine as I am (slightly overweight), out of control around rubbish food, wanting to diet to be healthy, just opting for a healthy lifestyle, self help books, etc. My mind goes round and round and round. And the other irony is that I find it easier to say no to cake at parties when I should be enjoying it, but stuffing my face with it at home with no celebration in mind. Oh mind, please stop being so muddled. My idea of a happy relationship with food? 3 meals a day and enjoy the odd pudding, the odd slice of cake for celebrations. No calorie counting - i don't need to - I just need to decide, properly decide, once and for all to eat the good stuff. Mind, please support me in this. Thanks
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Clare987
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18 Replies
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Hi Clare
I see you have been a lurker here for a while
In my opinion calorie counting is the way to go you can still eat what you want as long as it is in the calorie range given you by the BMI calculator
I would like to invite you to join our Newbie Club, which we hope will be a good place for you to connect with members, who are also just starting out, or re-starting.
If you just post a few words on the October Newbie Club thread to introduce yourself and respond to others there you will soon feel part of the club.
Thank you so much for your thoughts and well wishes. I will head over to the newbie site in a minute. For the moment I am going to leave calorie counting - purely because what I want to learn to do is to eat regularly for hunger and not fill up on junk due to boredom, emotion, etc. Am sure the weight loss will come as a result.
Hi Clare, nice to have you here on the forum. Your post struck a chord with me, sounded like you'd described me a few months ago. I ate well, was not really overweight, but ate extras which meant I was never quite the size I wanted to be, and was going to get out of control.
I came to this forum looking for a free weekly weigh-in, but found so much more. No judgement about not really being overweight, just wonderful, helpful, supportive friends. I've nearly lost my 10kg aim now, but am struggling with the last kg or so, and have let bad habits creep back in, so a few days ago I came back to the forum and started joining in again, and so far today, I've resisted the cake after a lovely stir fry lunch.
My advice - join in with as much as you can on the forum, daily diaries are great, join a weigh in, read all the advice you can on here and take what suits you.
I chose calorie counting and initially followed it carefully, still eating what fits in with my family and life works best for me. It was a re-education in some ways, despite eating well before, I hadn't realised how high and how low some foods are. But now I can calorie count roughly without weighing and measuring, and am confident that I can maintain a weight without all that hassle. To me, planning and sticking to my meals and only my meals is the thing with the biggest impact.
So good luck, you don't sound muddled to me but like you know exactly what you want, so go for it, and hope to see you around on the forum a lot.
Thank you,thank you, thank you! And well done you for losing 10kg. Super! It is interesting: over the years i have gone to 2 separate weight watcher groups in different locations and on both occasions and with family and friends i got the reaction of "but you aren't too bad" and "don't lose too much" and "you are fine" - but according to gp I really am overweight by about 12kg! my family has history of strokes and obesity seems to creep on all females. I am adamnant not to go down this road but need to kick junk food. Luckily I love healthy food - just need to change my mental attitude of sabotaging myself on top of eating good food (what on earth for???)
Am planning to try without calorie counting first as I really need to get into ditching poor eating on top of healthy eating first. Here goes. Interesting that i am enjoying interacting with lots of people like your lovely self instead of eating chocolate right now (this is new to me as I don't do any social media not even facebook).
I like the idea of replacing eating chocolate with reading the forum, not sure if it is quite the same though! I eat too much because I really like food, all food, and so I eat for comfort, as a reward, to ease boredom, when I'm stressed (that's the worst), when tired.
Interesting what you said about people saying how 'you are fine' etc, I always got that, but now people say 'you look great, have you lost weight'! So obviously the difference shows.
Great that you're setting a good example for your children too, does mean that you can't always clear the house of the tempting food though, I've spent all day studiously ignoring some cupcakes. In the end I put a small bowl of strawberries in front of them!
Thank you for replying. So true, I cannot clear house of junk food and it is always around - live in a lovely neighbourhood where we help lots of people and thanks is often cakes or biscuits! And I want my kids to grow up comfortable around food - unlike myself at moment. They know when to stay "stop, I am full" and "no, I don't want anymore" - i don't! I also wa t out of boredom and stress, definitely emotional. Healthy body, quite unhealthy mind, I think. Am going to join happiness challenge. My sister was anorexic when I grew up which does mean I absolutely do not want to pass bad habits of any kind to my kids.
I love the reaction you now have from people. I need to do this for myself too: I don't at all think I look awful or hate my body. It is just a small bit overweight and it is slowly piling on and my clothes are that bit too tight.but the main thing I need to change is my mental relationship with food.
Don't have the rubbish in the house ...just eat a couple bites of cake avoid processed food ingredients ...just a single serving of junk not whole big bag of chips..if your body can't identify an ingredient it turns it into fat...high fructose corn syrup. Olestra now called olean,
Now, one of my problems is the junk food in the house - we live in a very friendly neighbourhood (lucky) where we help others a lot and their thanks is often sweets and cake and chocolate. And I live within easy walking distance of corner shop to stock up on chocolate which I consume in great quantities. Also, my sister had anoexia when growing up so I do not want my children to see any eating problem in my house - so they have not heard me talk about really wanting to lose weight and I sneak the chocolate when they aren't looking but I do often talk to them about healthy food choices and problem with sugar. Ironic really that I clearly do have a mental eating problem.
I like your comment on body identifying ingredients as I am all for as simplified food as possible - just have to ditch the junk habit.
Hi, Clare, nice to meet you and welcome to the forum. You sound very much like me, I can relate to a lot of what you say. For me calorie counting and planning ahead is starting to show some results. I have resolved many times to cut out the junk and have more self control, but I never last more than a couple of weeks. I would agree with everything Salcheq says in her reply to you, very good advice. Best of luck
Thank you so much for your kind words. Interesting that my thoughts do resonate with people. I have over last few months started food planning which I love for many reasons - just need to stop all the additional eating on top of that. Like you, I want to make permanent changes - enjoy cake for birthdays, wine on hols but not everything every single day. I have never managed more than 2 days (i think this might be a good thing as my body is not used to yo yo dieting...) and this feels different -mi have never joined an on line forum (i don't do any social media, not even facebook).
Thank you so much for your thoughts. You have done really well yourself! I am very interested in natural medicines (although I am lucky enough to be very healthy so don't have much need things like that). Mainly I struggle with mental stuff which I think translates into junk food eating! I have not heard of Tibetan tea but will look that up now - thank you. I am looking for other drinks as I think that is 1 big way to replace snacking. I find fizzy water really refreshing but feel guilty for introducing more plastic bottles into my life (guilty environmentalist!!).
I love fizzy water too, and get it an environmentally - friendly way by simply using a sodastream to fizz up filtered tap water. That also saves on the impact of transporting heavy bottles of water in the distribution chain to supermarkets. Good luck!
Thank you for your thoughts. I do already enjoy those, I really do. I love healthy food but sadly will eat junk on top of that to the point of feeling sick just to sabotage myself. This is the habit I need to change.
Hi, you are so right - our minds are our downfall. I am a chocoholic and a wine-addict, but since the kids have left, chocolate is no problem for me anymore - none in the house. Could you apply the same principle to cakes? Good luck!
Thank you for your support - well, a cut back on sugary stuff for all of us would be great. I don't want it to be a big deal - but I do remember when cake and chocolate was a treat and I am not sure my kids see it like that anymore as it is so readily available! Mental change needed for sure. Good luck!
I think the issue is that crap food is great, as you say I can refuse a pud at a do but sometimes when I'm cheesed off might scoff a tub of ice cream, why? no idea! I have kept my weight down for about two years now eating proper grub (Easier here in Italy but there are pitfalls)
In the past before embarking on another diet, I would shovel vast amounts of crap food down my pudgy neck the night before, then last about as long as it took for the nausea of my eating binge to subside.
Now I eat well but no crap, don't keep crap food in the house, try to get exercise every day. So for me I think it's a lifestyle choice and not a question of sticking to a diet Calorie controlled, Low fat, high protein, paleo etc etc...
Interestingly I have slipped off the wagon this last week and am having to kick start again, so your never really in the clear if you love your crap food!
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you can still eat what you want as long as it is in the calorie range given you by the BMI calculator 
Healthy eating support please!
Well - here we go; I'm a newbie
Some may not call it progress
When your weight controls your entire outlook
