The hardest part for me is not having a family that support me, my mum this morning was speaking to my dad about how the hospital claim she is obest and she turned round and said "if im obest then what does that mean for you ( meaning me) and dad"first things first is that she is bigger than me, hearing her say that broke my heart and i just had a break down hearing that from your mum is not a nice feeling like who says that to there daughter? She apologized but you cant take back something like that, she has never given me much time yeah she helps out with money but id rather have her love anyday. Is there anyone here that understands what this feels like?


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25 Replies

  • I'm sure your mum didn't mean her statement to hurt you, as it did, she was probably just reacting to the unwelcome news that she's obese.

    Maybe, rather than yearn for support from your mum, who, for reasons of her own, is unable to provide, you could turn to your boyfriend, who you've said is supportive of you.

    You may also like to join this community, to learn how to love yourself and not need the approval of others?

    For all the people that can't support you, there's a whole community here that will :)

  • Good advice moreless

  • so sorry you are hurting. moreless says it all, join us there is alway support and a listening ear.

  • A very difficult place to be when our parents ridicule or say hurtful things especially when they have the wrong end of the stick or simply just don't understand how sensitive you are to certain comments. Focus is the only winner here and like the previous post says, if you learn to love yourself and decide that losing weight is good for you then you will be unstoppable but you have to drown out the noise and FOCUS. You will soon become and inspiration to yourself and those around you. Accept that you will make mistakes and that other will approve or disapprove but as long as you are on the path you will get there!! Good Luck and you will be amazing!!

  • Hi and welcome, Sabrelady_1 :)

    I'd like to invite you to join our Newbie Club, which we hope will be a good place for you to connect with members, who are also just starting out. If you just post a few words to introduce yourself and respond to others there, you'll soon break the ice. Here's the link

    You'll find all the information you need to navigate the forum in the header, so please take the time to read it carefully.

    Wishing you all the best :)

  • You will always find support from your virtual family on the forum. Hold your head up. You can do it. Don't dwell on what your mum said, she clearly didn't think before she spoke.💐

  • Thankyou everyone!!! i feel better after reading these comments and knowing i have support from you all, i will do this! And prove them all wrong and prove to myself that this change is for the better!!x

  • Good for you, Nicole :)

  • You go girlfriend!!!!!!. You can and will do this. I can read the determination. Keep that message and anytime you feel down and frustrated read your message that you said can do this and prove them wrong. Keep us posted anytime time of day. Have a great journey.

  • Well said Nicole! You can do it.

  • When i first started dieting my mum was bit rude and kept on and on about my weight.but she done me a favour.i wanted to prove her wrong.she made me more can do this.this forum is brillant and i honestly couldnt have done it without all the help and encouragment on here. Im now nearly 3 stone lighter and whos laughing now. Me as im now lighter than my mum.she dont mean it.they just dont think.good luck and if i can do it so can you xx

  • Awwwh yes someone in the same boat!!thankyou and what was the first step for you how did you start??xx

  • Nicole.dont look at the bigger picture.make small goals.and treat yourself when you reach them goals. Plan your meals in advance. I never excised so ill i done was walking. And walking up and down the stairs.every pound i lose i put a pound in my pot and a fiver for a stone.this i use for new clothes.keep active on this forum .we all in same bolt.

  • Thankyou!!!

  • Your very welcome

  • Well said 👍

  • I feel for you, I have a wife who is very supportive, and sometimes I don't like her telling me what to do, which is bad for me, but I won't go into that, my wife says love is better than money any day.

  • Totally!!!

  • My heart breaks for you Nicole and I'm sorry I have no answers for you. I'm guessing 98 might be your birth year,in which case you're only 19 years old.

    Are you attending a college or course where there is support and someone you could talk to? Or is there a youth group nearby?

    Sending you all my love and a big hug.

    The world needs gentle sensitive people like you🌼

  • Yeah 19:) and i work as a seasonal nursery practioner the girls there are lovely but i dont know them well enough to talk to them about it, thankyou:) x

  • Hi Nicole.

    I hate it when parents don’t think and just come out with something that hurts. My mum did the same a couple of years back. She brought me a new coat which was lovely but said “ I got you this as your getting a bit fat for your other one”.

    I was so angry but nothing like my husband was. He still hasn’t forgiven her. He talks to her etc but he can hold a grudge.

    The stupid thing was she didn’t even realise what she had said, so couldn’t understand why I was so upset. Grrr

    Thankfully I have lost a bit of weight since then but it still makes me angry to think about it.

    Sorry for the rant. Just wanted you to

    Know your not on your own and you can do this.

    As others have said, do it for you. Not for others as you will never succeed doing it for others. I started to lose weight for the wrong reasons and I always gave up. I’m now on this journey for me and the motivation is huge in comparison.

    Good luck with your journey and sorry for the rant 😊

  • Dont be sorry! I totally get that. My mum kept saying that she didnt mean for it to come out that way but she meant everyword, to be honest yeah im not the smallest of girls but im not huge either, my boyfriend tells me everyday how beautiful mg body is even tho i dont see it but then someone comes and knocks me down and my confidence is not great at the moment as it is without my mum effecting that too.

  • yes I do darlin my daddy used to call me fluffy when I was a kid and it broke my heart. I distanced myself from him for years and have since lost him. the hardest thing to do is to forgive yourself but the second hardest is to forgive your parents. we are here to support you so don't forget us. I am so sorry that happened to you. there is nothing more painful than to hear what they said to you, but if you can try to forgive them then do so. I grew up fat to prove my dad right and that was where I was wrong. stay here and we will help you as much as we can I promise! Chin up doll, it gets better with time and if you lose the weight, it will show them you are determined. the only reason they said those things to you is to make themselves feel better. they feel bad because they are overweight and as long as you are too, it makes them less responsible for their own weight problems. only you can take care of yourself, but we can help make the journey easier by bringing you up whenever you post and as much as we can. I promise it gets better.

  • Awh sorry to hear that, me ans my mum have never been close somedays we connect other days we dont get along, il always habe love for her but as a person she puts me down and only i get to say whether i settle for that or not and it might sound awful but she has always loved money that little bit more than my happiness, i will get there and i will make her see that i came out the other side and hell of a lot stronger xx

  • you go girl!!!!!!!!

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