Newbie and desperate 😞

Hi everyone,

I feel so helpless! There's not a day/hour that goes by that I don't think about my weight. I used to be so confident. I'm now nearly 17 stones and at 5ft4 struggle every day with bending/walking/playing with my children.....I've lost all my mojo and have no enthusiasm for anything. I now feel I'm too fat to even bother losing the weight - I know this is complete rubbish but when it comes to food/weight all my logic is out the window. I've tried every diet around and lost 4 stones on one and felt amazing then it all went back on and more but now all I want is a fast fix and want to see fast/drastic results everything else (i.e doing it the right way) is not enough - I want a miracle or surgery - I know this is completely irrational but when it comes to weight/food I am! I have a great life, a wonderful supportive husband, 3 beautiful children and a wonderful family but yet I'm miserable because of my body. I feel I need physiological help to combat my mental relationship with food. Now I've written this I feel as if I've given myself a free pass to eat what I want today because at least 'I'm aware of the problem and doing something about it' but I'm not...I'm seeing my doctor on Wednesday. I don't know where else to go for (affordable) help. Thanks for reading.......

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6 Replies

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  • Hi VnicolaJW and welcome to the weight loss forum.

    When you see your doctor on Wednesday talk to him/her about the way you feel about food to see if they can give you some support. There are no quick fixes to weight loss and you have made a great first step today in coming on this friendly forum. Please take time to read the information, it will halp you get there.:)

    You are invited to join our Newbie Club, where you can meet other new members who are just beginning their weigh loss journeys too. Here's the link for all the information you will need to find your way around the forum:

    healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

    Write a brief note to introduce yourself to other newbies and I'm sure you'll be making friends, in no time.

    Good luck with your first week.

  • Hi VnicolaJW and welcome! We are a friendly bunch and will support you on your weight loss journey :D

    I started my weight loss journey at the end of February 2012, weighing in at 14 stone - 5 and a half years ago. I was 49 years old and had been trying to lose weight all of my life since the age of 9. Had done all the clubs - lost and re-gained and more. I realise now with hindsight that this wasn't ever going to work for me....

    I managed to lose 4.5 stone in 2 and a half years through calorie counting and logging/weighing all of my food going from a size 24 to a size 16 and from 14 stone down to 9 and a half.

    Then re-gained some.... lost some again and have now managed to more or less maintain for the past 6 months.

    BUT... ideally I would love to drop another stone and maintain there.

    I have a disability which makes exercise difficult, but the one thing that I realise very early on in my journey was that I was just eating FAR TOO MUCH! I was a VERY short (4ft 9"), middle aged, sedentary female and I was eating the same as 5ft 9" active man (my now husband!).

    No wonder I was piling on the weight! I now think of the weight I lost as each half a stone being a new born baby... I lost 9 of them and can't really understand how I was ever able to lug all of that around with me all of the time!

    I often wish I had dealt with my weight when I was a lot younger, but still, better late than never and also the risk of illness that is associated with being overweight increases once you reach 50 years plus....

    I had never realised that my weight had impacted upon my self-esteem, but now that I am close to my goal weight, my confidence is improved, I'm more energetic - and although my mobility is always going to be compromised because of my disability, I am more confident about going out of the house and I fall less than I used to.

    Here are a few of my past posts which I hope you will find helpful and inspiring. I won't try and tell you that my journey was easy - and you'll see that there were many blips along the way, but 5 years down the line, I feel about 20 years younger than I did when I was lugging around 4 stone more.

    Please do pop back to the forums and share your journey with us - we are here for you, day and night and happy to share your success or support you when you need it.

    healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

    healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

    healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

    healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

  • Welcome VnicolaJW,

    What a very honest post. Now stop and take a breath lol.

    You are in good company here, many of us will be able to identify with what you have said.

    You are never to fat to loose weight, you know trying to do this quickly isn't going to work, yes you may loose some weight but it won't be sustainable and it will all go back on.

    Have a good read through of all the information that YellowRose has given you, read all the links and have a good look around the forum. The Daily Diary is a good place to go to get ideas for meals, you can even post what you are having and get advice on what you could change if you wanted it.

    The reply from Beki71 is great. You can start to change things from now, ditch one bad habit today and you will feel as though you have made a positive change.

    You have children so I am guessing that you have things in the house that you shouldn't be eating. Sort out your cupboards and make a space for you and treats that are healthy.

    Set your self some small goals to achieve, don't keep looking at the bigger picture, it can be soul destroying. Maybe you could try and achieve loosing 5lbs and then just another 2lbs to get to your half stone badge. Then set yourself more small goals. Have some non food rewards to look forward to as you reach each goal.

    Join in on here as much as you can to get lots of support. Join in with a weigh in, it will help to keep you accountable. Yellowrose is hosting todays, Think Thin Thursday and I shall be hosting tomorrows Feel Good Friday. You will get lots of support from the other people weighing in.

    This forum is so much better than a slimming club, as it's free and here 7 days a week.

    Once you have read through everything, if you have any questions, ask away, there will always be somebody that knows the answer. No question to silly either and we are all very non-judgemental.

    I hope you get on well with the Doctor on Wednesday. Come back and let us know how the appointment went. But in the meantime start making changes so that you can tell your doctor what you are trying to do.

    Wishing you good luck :)

  • Dear Vnicola

    You are so lucky to have a lovely family. I am sure you want to be there for them as long as possible in as good health as possible. Being overweight puts you at risk of so many serious illnesses that you MUST lose weight for their sake. You will be slimmer which will be a pleasant side effect but gaining better health is the greater motivator

    So no time like the present get started today

    Best wishes

  • I know exactly how you feel. I am so low at the moment and am in a similar height to weight ratio as you. I've lost loads of weight before with slimming clubs and put it all back on. I am starting on the free NHS Choices 12 week plan that you can download weekly. I had a mini stroke at the weekend and it has really frightened me. I am really going to give this a go and see where it goes. I really want to be around for my family and the way things are going I am destroying my health. Please don't give up and if you need some encouragement just message me. Lots of love. xx

  • Thankyou to everyone who has taken the time to read and/or reply to my post you are all very lovely and give great advice. I know what I have to do why is it so hard to start😣

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