Long Term loser (read that how you will) :)

Long Term loser (read that how you will)  :)

Hi I am new to this forum although definitely not new to the struggles of trying to lose weight. My story is long and convoluted so I won't bore you with it, but safe to say, I am now at a place where I am over 22 stone, diabetic, depressed etc etc etc. I lost emy husband 2.5 years ago to a Pulmonary Embolism, and since then my son has been terrified that I am going to die as well because I am obese.

I am going through the 4healthyweight program which, if you have not heard of it, is run by the NHS and I would recommend it heartily. I also found out that a lot of my eating is emotional (see depression) so I found myself a counsellor who I can stay with as long as I like (NHS ones are limited time unfortunately) For £10 a week I have an hour to talk to a wonderful woman called Marty, who has helped me more in the last few months, than I have ever been helped with my feelings. She has helped me come off the happy pills, which numbed me but fed my emotional eating problems. So I am currently going through the withdrawal from those, well worth it though (think loss of appetite, runny stools, severe tiredness) Zzzzzzzzz

Sorry, got sidetracked. And now I am being offered weight loss surgery and I cannot make my mind up about it. Are the risks of being seriously obese greater than those of undertaking surgery? I don't know and I am hoping that I can talk to people with greater knowledge than me, to help me make a decision.

My main problem is lack of funds. I am a carer for my 13 year old autistic son (higher functioning ASD) and buying food normally means spending the majority of the food budget on his food and adding in what I can for me :) and my daughter :O. So think full fat cheddar (not that horrible plastic half-fat stuff) although I only have lactose free semi skimmed milk (diabetes) which he hates.

My health trainer (another complete and utter nutter who is an absolute darling) managed to secure me a personal budget to pay for online yoga lessons (I don't want to go to a gym for crying out loud!!! Who wants to see a fatty like me melting at the gym) The yoga is amazing and not that expensive in the long run (www.gaia.com) More importantly they have chair based yoga for those of us who cannot get onto the floor and, most importantly, cannot get back up off it without a crane or two.

I keep getting conflicting dietary advice from all these wonderful people though as my diabetic dietitian wants me off carbs and everyone else wants me on them :O and should I really be drinking caramel lattes (I have a Tassimo machine my lovely late Ivan bought me) even if only once a day?

To be serious though I did manage to lose 4 stone years ago when I was a single mother (for the first time) and I would really like to get back that feeling of having succeeded and being able to walk miles without my back and legs falling out with me.

My dream is to be able to do yoga on the mat, to walk down to the beach everyday, to be able to buy clothes from highstreet shops and to be able to reach my clutch pedal properly without having to bury my belly into the steering wheel.

Yes I did get to hold the FA Cup many years ago when I was still working :)


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12 Replies

  • Hi welcome! You have lost weight before so you know how to do it. I wouldn't think therefore that surgery is the best option. You could lose enough weight by Christmas to feel better and look better and then carry on from there. Surgery seems like a massive risk. I was 23 stone, didn't consider surgery for a second mainly as I hate pain and hospitals and while idea is just yeuk. Try using this forum for support, it might just provide the extra support you need to lose weight naturally and healthily. 🤞

  • Hello Claire_Hawkins and welcome to the Weight Loss Forum. Thank you for sharing so much with us. You are not alone in losing and then gaining weight, but we can help you lose and maintain the weight. Have a good look around, especially at the Welcome Newbies post and ask if you have any questions,

    Here are a few suggestions on how to get the most out of the forum. Please note if you are using the new HU App many of these features are not available so I suggest you use the full website version.

    The first place to look is at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), read the Welcome Newbie thread first and move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you. Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news

    Have a look at the NHS 12 week plan, as many people have had success with it. Also use the BMI checker to find your target calories, it's important to eat enough. This was a major turning point for me, realising I could eat anything I wanted as long as the calories are accounted for. Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate

    The forum also have group weigh-ins every day, as well as a new Daily Diary, if you wish to take part. The posts can always be found in the Events section on the 'home' page. And if you just want to chat, to say hello or share any news or struggles then look out for What's Happening Today thread.

    You'll notice a grey box next to people's names, these are achievement badges, and as a new member you have a 'Newbie' badge. We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too. If you have any questions please just ask

    Best wishes


  • Hi Claire_Hawkins . I'd just like to give you a big hug and say welcome to the HU forum. You sound like a very cheerful, funny up beat lady. I can imagine your struggle but feel the tone of your post belies your true feelings. I'm so glad you're now getting help with your emotional problems

    I can't advise you on what to do about weight loss surgery but whatever decision you come to remember we are all here for you with support and understanding. Keep posting on here and very good luck with your quest. You can do it.

  • I was a health trainer for 7.5 years Claire_Hawkins; you read like a gem, and I would've been proud to have you as a client.

    I'm a bit confused as to why you bracketed diabetes next to the lactose-free semi-skimmed milk; did someone tell you it was better/ healthier/beneficial? It would be a rare health professional that points out that low-fat dairy actually causes a high demand for insulin, and we're better off with smaller portions of the whole/full-fat versions.

  • Whoa I didn't realise that the sugar free milk would be worse for me!!! I assumed that it would help keep my glucose levels down because I love to drink tea/coffee (very weak) but I cannot drink it black. Also I use it for my breakfast cereal. So am I right in thinking that I would actually be better off using full fat milk? Or semi-skimmed?

  • It depends what you are trying to achieve, I use red milk in tea because I prefer it and it has significantly less calories. However, I have cream in my coffee.

    Reducing calories is the key to losing fat, and you choose how to 'spend' your calories. But it's important to eat a wide variety of foods including ALL the major food groups, fat included. General advice is avoid processed foods, especially those with added sugar. (Which includes most of the "low fat" versions of everyday foods) I find eating high sugar foods makes me hungrier as it causes a rise in insulin as concerned suggests. Are you a diabetic? Your dietician will advise how many carbohydrates to eat, I don't think you need to give them up completely.

  • Reduced-fat dairy doesn't need added sugar; the sharp rise in insulin it causes is harmful to everyone, especially those who are insulin resistant.

  • Yes I am diabetic, and a previous doctor told me to give up carbs almost completely with the effect, within a week, I could hardly move. I restrict carbs now but no where near as ruthlessly as has been suggested to me before as I cannot cope with the energy drain. I hadn't realised that low fat caused insulin spikes. I have been diabetic for 10 years so wonder how I managed to miss this important piece of information. Still never mind, now I know I can do something about it.

  • Hi Claire,

    There is a chap on YouTube called Boogie2988, who is a hugely successful vlogger, I think something to do with video games- my elder son endlessly watches such stuff...

    Anyway, this chap is very overweight, 400lbs or so, and has recently undergone gastric bypass surgery, and has documented the whole process on his YouTube channel. Obviously not the surgery itself, but the decision making process before hand, the preparations and now the recovery stage and his feelings about it post-op. It is quite insightful and thought provoking, particularly as it is first hand and in real time, so to speak. Might be worth a watch

  • Thank you, I shall have a look at his vlog.

  • Welcome and good luck to you!!

  • A warm welcome to you. You've been through a lot in the last while and I'm glad you're getting help and support now. I wish you all the love and luck in the world and looking forward to seeing your posts.😀

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