Hmmmm.... so as I've mentioned before, I have in the past joined particular weight loss groups. These groups allow you to comsume as much fruit and veg as you fancy without counting, weighing, 'pointing' or 'synning'. So I hope you understand just how bloody irritated and frustrated I was to discover that the fabulous looking fruit salad infront of me was over 200cals!! And that basically it was too high a count considering what I had already consumed beforehand.
Well! I stormed out of the kitchen, stomped up the stairs, slammed my bedroom door (Yes I realise this is the behaviour suited to a teenager and not a thirty (early!) something t'other!) and sulked.
My head raced with thoughts pinging and zinging around...
" This is just stupid!"
"I can't do THIS!"
"Bloody restricting something as bloody healthy as fruit! This is crazy stuff!"
Now usually, this scenario would be followed by a visit to the kitchen where I would succumb to a binge. I think it's vital here to briefly consider the 'binge'. I have heard people (friends and family) refer to a binge and they tell me the likes of...
"Oh I binged so bad last night. I had a chocolate bar and a WHOLE packet of crisps!"
Everyone's reference to a binge is different, I have learned. Mine is very different. My last binge which was a few weeks ago (excellent achievement for me!) consisted of a 6 pack multi pack of crisps, an entire pack of chocolate digestive biscuits, a WHOLE Victoria sponge cake and a tube of Pringles. This was demolished within a little over 10 minutes. I have also learned everyone has their own unique trigger to a binge. Mine was regarding an incident with a GP who is now under investigation but the investigation process made me feel worthless. BAM! BINGE!
Anyway, so back to my bedroom where I was busy sulking... I began to allow my mindset to be clouded. I was thinking of all the negative aspects of the dilemma (😂😂) in which I had found myself in. But then something else happened...
The longer I stayed away from the kitchen... the quicker the cloud passed. I began to feel calmer. But, I did go back down to the kitchen.
I went back to the kitchen where I took out the scales and measured out some of the fruit salad, working out the calories as I went. It took a while as I am still new to calorie counting, but I did it.
I guess what I'm getting at is; if you binge or self sabotage as I do, be kind enough to yourself to allow the cloud or storm to pass, because it will! A binge urge comes from our mind and our minds don't control us, we control them!
Today I took another step to my happy and healthy future self and I can't wait to meet her!
Well this drama queen is off to bed!
Until tomorrow you amazing people!
Sweet dreams and love