Taking control

It is time to take control of my life! For years I have had the "poor little me" (not so little) attitude and blamed others for state of my life. I was the way I was because of other people - what utter bollocks (apologies)!!! Other people didn't force excess food down my throat, other people didn't force to stay on my couch all day! I did the forcing because it was easier than facing up to the truth that I surrounded myself with bad people, some toxic. Two years ago, I finally cut all ties with these people and since then I have shifted the blame onto myself for having put myself in that position in the first place. I may have shifted the blame but I didn’t shift the behaviours. So, it is time to stop the blaming. I did what I did because I didn’t know there were other ways, and when I learned of other ways I didn’t know I had the ability to do it another way. I have spent 47 years dancing to other people’s tune and trying to live by other people’s rules and their standards. I was too busy trying to survive the chaos I didn’t know I could have my own tune.

Today I know different. I have my own tune. I have my own rules. I have my own standards.

There are other ways and the best I can do is to try them to see which one works for me! (You have no idea how liberating it is to say this). My journey of discovery starts now :-)

My first discovery is that I need to take control. My mantra from now on is “today I am taking control”. I need to go back to basics and learn how to live life. While I am doing that I need to keep in mind I have two major goals I want to achieve – getting my degree and being a healthy weight by the time I am 50. First things first though. I need to go and do the things that will help me achieve these – pay the rent and prepare for work that pays the rent!!!

It’s amazing what an emotional cleanse and good night’s sleep does for the soul…and motivation 😊

Have a fab Friday everyone x

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11 Replies

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  • Fab and very inspiring post DD7005 , we will be with you all the way.

    You are so right about the liberating feeling of taking control for yourself.

    Enjoy getting your degree, enjoy being in control and enjoy a positive relationship with your food.

    Make food your friend not your enemy.

    Go Go - you can do this.

  • " I have my own tune. I have my own rules. I have my own standards."

    Love this ❤️

    Go you!

  • This is a wonderful post! You have seen the light at the end of the tunnel and have realised that it is only you who can get yourself there. Well done for moving on from the negative people in your life. I know that in itself can take some doing!

    I am sure that you will be able to do this and that you will not regret it. We will all support you along the way. This forum is amazing!

  • Thanks for such an interesting and inspiring post. I'm glad you've gotten to the point where you finally feel in charge of your life and are able to do something about it. I always think that half the battle is just learning to believe in yourself, and you now seem to have that in spades! :)

    And for those times you start to doubt, that's what this forum is here for!

    Good luck in your endeavors. What are you planning on studying?

  • Vicky, I am going into my final year of Sociology. I am amazed I have I managed it this far x

  • Great post DD7005 and lots of true words. The good thing about this site, as you'll already know, is that everyone here is the complete antithesis of toxic. Some of the nicest and most helpful people you'll ever come across.

    All the best with all your endeavours.

  • Congratulations on such an honest self assessment. You have taken control And ousted the toxic elements in your life so things can only get better. Good luck.

  • Thank you everyone. Your support means a lot to me and it is great to have a safe place to come and express myself. A new concept for me but one I will get used to no doubt.

    I have been for my weekend food shop and I am glad to report it is all healthy foods. So proper healthy eating has begun...now to sort studying...

  • Thank you for letting us know. There's great liberation in taking back control. You've learned so much and I really admire your strength. Keep in touch with the forum. I'll be looking forward to seeing how you're getting on. There's great support here too. And you have wisdom to share from your difficult experiences.

    Good for you. You're doing great. 💥

  • So wonderful to hear the positively!! I've been in the same boat and I made up my mind too. Just like Maya Angelou said, "when you know better, you do better."

  • That quote is going up on my wall!! Thanks for that Melhall x

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