It's very discouraging to know that I've been doing this for such a long time, yet have not made much progress.
I've been dieting, thinking about what I'm going to eat 24/7, weighing myself several times a day, ruining my ankles with exercising, and holding onto hope that I'd lose weight for over 2 months now. I've dreamed of being at a healthy weight since childhood. In primary school, I would place the sides of my palms over either sides of my thighs, and imagine what they'd look like if I was a slimmer person.
This hope, in addition to a strange bout of confidence, is slowly but surely diminishing. As that diminishes, the temptations to "cheat" grows day by day.
I've been very good, I think. I haven't eaten chocolate, cake, or any treats in months other than the odd biscuit every week or so, and I usually throw half of it away, lol.
But, there comes a point when you think “Meh, what's the point?“. I was morbidly obese when "cheating" was my lifestyle, and I'm still morbidly obese now, even while eating less calories than what your average person would eat.
“Calories in, calories out!“ I always hear slimmer people say (online). Pffft. Yeah, if it was that easy, I'm sure there'd hardly be any obese people.
As my dieting is a secret, my mother still buys be a lot of junk food. I've now accumulated 2 tubs of chocolate ice cream, 3 large bars of chocolate, 2 big packets of sweets, and a chocolate cake. I'll find a way to throw them out, but I always drag myself back into reality, and tell myself “It wouldn't make a difference whether you dieted or scoffed them all down. You'll always be this size.“. This is true, for a very long time.
Just random thoughts that swirl through my mind. Nothing much!
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DiZia
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Hi DiZia for a productive way to get rid of the bits you don't want.. Give them to a homeless person? Drop them off to an old folks home for the residents to share? Donate them to a charity shop or to a day centre as a raffle prize? That done, less to consider being tempted by.
Please don't give up, it has taken me from 24/01 to 07/07 to lose a stone, some weeks a loss, then a gain, a maintain, a gain all doing my best to eat within the routine I set. I have experimented a bit with different eating patterns and am continuing to experiment to find out what suits me.
This is so individual as we are all so different, at first I wasn't eating enough so was not moving much weight, but I regularly check the NHS BMI calculator to see what range I am in and am working with that.
Keep going - you decided you don't want to remain morbidly obese, so keep trying and ensure you're eating enough to make the changes you need.
DiDiZia don't give up it does take time. I do wonder however why your healthy eating is a secret. Would it not be easier to get your Mum on side? I also find that if you say you are healthy eating to others that it sometimes helps you stay on track. I find what works for me is a food diary. I record all food and drink, I count my portions of fruit and veg, I record any exercise that I have done as well as a brief description of how I feel and how my day went. Don't give up it will be worth it in the end.
I'm so sorry you are feeling so despondent DiZia 😕 Without knowing more about what you are eating it's difficult to comment, but I agree with dipper about telling your Mum 😕
Do,you write a food diary? This is a key part of weight loss. If you have a calorie deficit and are not losing weight then it may be worth visiiting your GP and asking to see a dietician
I hope you feel better for getting these thoughts out of your system 😊
I agree what has been said, and feel that if you find out what your highest calorie limit is on the NHS website that allows you to lose weight, you may find you can eat one or two things that you enjoy so you won't feel so deprived and disheartened.
DiZia please don't throw all your good work away now. Your dream is within your grasp. Keep persevering and it will come good. I lose weight o so slowly but I am much healthier because of the food I eat and the exercise I do. I know your situation is different as your mum provides the food.
Would she mind if you told her you had decided to try to lose weight? There are lots of people on here supporting you. Stick with it and imagine how you will feel the your weight starts to drop.
I think she'd laugh at it. When I was younger, I was a little more open about my attempts to lose weight. She'd try to manipulate me into eating unhealthy foods, and try to delude me into thinking that I'm "not that big", even though I was still morbidly obese as a child (I remember weighing 16 stones before I had reached my teens). At the rate I've been going, I can still expect to be morbidly obese by this time next year.
I am so sorry about that Didizia, by maybe she just doesn't know how to help you. Her way of protecting you was maybe trying to build your self image because she loves you just the way you are.
Stick with us we will support you all we can. You have done so well to hold on to all the boxes of temptations, think about what Minniewinny said about good ways to get rid of them.
If you want to your GP and asked about weight he might suggest losing weight and then you could tell your mum what he said and then maybe she would be able to support you.
Hi DiDiZia, Gee it sounds like you feel like you are between a rock and a hard place. But the best thing is that you have shared your feelings here to people who know and understand how you feel and thats the best thing and a start to hold on to your effort. You said you feel you havent made much progress which means that something has happened which you must hold onto a little is better than nothing at all. I agree with the others that you should tell your mum. But would she be strange with you if you did? We do need support. If you cant right now maybe just say thanks for the junk but throw them away or as Minnywinny says pass them on. Also, if you can change your reality and say it will make a difference if I ate these things thats really really important. Stay here and just go through all the stories and think I can do this too and when you feel down again write and take strength from people who want to help and encourage you. I guess is like the one day at a time. When you fall say I will be better tomorrow and it will happen. All of us what to lose the weight in one day but have to accept it can take months for a pound or two but once this happens then we feel better and then its weeks for another pound. You will get there and I wish you nothing but happiness and strength.XX
Thanks. Yes, I do feel like I'm between a rock and a hard place. It kind of sucks to know that at this rate, I'll still look the same by Christmas or New Years.
Well you are not going to lose the weight as long as your body is in starvation mode and with a very low metablism. We did give you advice on this before and you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
If you start understanding and taking our advice the weight will start to drop off you, but I can't see this if you carry on as before. This doesn't work as you have know so it's surely time to try something different.
I agree with the others: tell your mother you are trying to lose weight and be healthier and hopefully she will stop giving you unhealhy foods. Is she overweight too? Never stop trying and you will get there with us all behind you.
Yes, my mother is also morbidly obese. A little larger than me, or about around the same size. The doctor recently told her that she gained a stone over the year.
I don't tell her, because I don't trust her with personal things. She'd go and tell the entire family behind my back if she could.
Many times there's not much food, or rather, not a variety of food in the house. I have to make do with what I've got, and when I do try to eat what is recommended to me, I gain weight, as it's usually carbs that contribute to the extra calories.
Right now, I'm eating 3 meals a day, and that's usually around 1,700-1,800 calories. It's been going ok so far, but today, there wasn't any food here, so I couldn't have dinner. I really wanted to eat the treats, lol.
DiZia You are doing really well in a hard situation. I understand why you don't want to speak to your Mum about this. Is it possible to get her on side by suggesting you do it together, she may not want everybody in the family to know she is trying to loose weight so may keep your secret. Could you offer to cook and ask your Mum to get some ingredients for some healthy meals that you have chosen for the family?
Have you checked your BMI if you are morbidly obese 1,800 calories doesn't sound enough. I can see that it is not easy to do when the wrong food is being provided for you.
You have come so far in the last few weeks, hang on in there and try and keep the momentum, keep up your exercise, you were beginning to enjoy it.
Believe me, there are a lot of us here that are taking a very slow road, me included. It can be very frustrating and there are days when I just want to walk away but if I do that I shall never succeed, so I just plod on knowing that I am making healthier choices most of the time.
Keep going and keep talking to us. Read other peoples stories, Have you read Moreless' story, it is inspiring maybe go and take a look at it.
You can do this, just get that mind in the right mind set again, cheering you on and having faith in you
Very good advice lucigret . I was wonder what to say next but you said it all.
Don't give up. Maybe you could convince her to do it with you. My weight loss seems real slow when I am starving. I see all these people here eating lots of calories and dropping weight. Take the advice. I'm going to. You might be surprised. You need to tell your mom so she can buy the right foods. If you work maybe you can buy it. We'll be here for you.
Maybe have a chat with your Mum and see if she wants to lose weight too. She would maybe be glad of the support on this forum too. My Mum always gave me a hard time about my weight when I was younger as my two sisters were size 10 and I was size 14. At that time I thought I was really overweight and over the years just put on more and more. I have now made up my mind that this is it. I am going to do this for me. I know it is harder when someone else is controlling the food available but don't give up. You can do it.
Just keep trying, nothing will change if you give up. Pessimism doesn't mean you'll fail, I was pessimistic about stopping smoking and half heartedly tried yet 'again' positive I'd fail again! Been off cigarettes three and a half years now, and feel like I never smoked at all. You never know when you might succeed. Just keep trying.
Nearly everybody seems to actually have commented or given the advice I would have given - so DiZia First can I just ((as a mum also of a 17 year old daughter )) give you a big Virtual hug ((((H))) as mums we love our children and perhaps your mum has different ways of showing her love. I'm sure she has her struggles to so it would be good to share your feelings☺
I know your on your summer break from college, have you got things planned to do ? any structure during the days ? I think its important that you keep your mind active and not just sit and dwell , Your still young a whole life ahead of you when you finish your course (btw what are you studying) and a good life have you thought of maybe doing some part time work its good to show future employers even if its voluntary it all helps you gain confidence
I know it all seems hard my lovely and I hope I don't sound like I'm nagging but can't stand seeing others so sad keep on with Tanyas challenge it is lovely to see you on there and I wish you loads of luck
Personal message me anytime if you want any advice
Your posting on here now,we all go through times when we want to give up I yo yo and have still not got to my ideal weight .on my weigh in day I stayed the same again.i decided enough was enough and started to turn things around.
I used to weigh myself daily ,that has stopped I've put them out of the way.i was obsessed with my weight and that does not help.for me I know what my downfall is so I avoid such foods/items .
Hi DiZia there is always a chance that your mum also wants to lose weight but is embarrassed about it so would love the idea if you speak to her about it too. I know I used to be embarrassed about it and would never speak to anyone about it years ago I just hid it in different ways. I just thought eating less all the times would make things better. No-one else seemed to realise but instead I just made things worse and I could never understand it. If she is the only other one left who is morbidly obese too it may scare her. I know she might not be, but this could be why she sometimes reacts like she does. Don't forget though that people change over time and if you don't at least try talking to her and telling her something like 'you think it would be good for you both to look at eating a bit healthier' you may not get anywhere, you don't even have to start it with telling her you want to lose weight and see how she reacts then. Bless you, please don't give up, we are all here for you. Do also check your bmi as it doesn't sound like you are having enough at the moment, this could also be why not enough is going, this is what it was telling me to have when I first started. Good luck with everything though.
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