I don't know how many calories I should be eating. The amount set for me by the BMI calculator does not work for me. When I tried it in the past, it made me gain 3lbs.
Even when I eat 1,700+ calories, I gain weight. It has always been like this, right from the very start of this journey.
I only eat around 2-3 meals a day, and that's what feels comfortable in my stomach. And this rarely exceeds 1,300 calories. This is the only way that I lose weight. And with this method, I have lost around 2lbs per week. I am now down to 20.13½st.
And I want to experiment with eating more calories, but that just does not feel safe for me. I'm almost 300lbs. My legs ache from just walking up the stairs a few times a day. I'm in excruciating pain, both physically and mentally. I cannot afford to put on any more weight.
I may even consider bypass surgery. I can't diet like the others on here. I'm not an independent grown woman, with a job, free of mental disorders, with loving family and friends, who can make choices over what she eats.
I'm a 19 year old college student, with autism, severe depression, and social anxiety. I live with a borderline abusive mother. I do not have a job, and I am not financially independent. And there's not a thing I can do about that.
My body has always been messed up, and that means I'll just have to deal with the fact that I can't eat much for the rest of my life.
I am not a normal person.
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DiZia
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I'm really sorry to hear you feel like this, Jordan and I feel ill-equipped to know how to respond to you.
I have, in the past, suggested that you speak to your GP, or a trusted professional, to see if there's any way that you can get some support. However, it's advice that you don't want to take, so I feel at a loss to know how else to help you.
I do not for one minute, think that you're a hopeless case, or that you're not normal and believe, that with the right support, you could successfully lose weight. I just wish that I could convince you of that fact.
Hi Jordan, I am sorry you feel so bad about everything today. Perhaps you are not doing yourself justice? From what I understand, you started your journey at 305 lbs only 6 weeks ago and are now down to 293 lbs. That is a loss of 12 lbs in 6 weeks i.e. 2 lbs per week. In my book, that is a perfect weight loss rate. Sustainable but not too slow.
You should get rid of that Newbie badge! You are eligible for a 7 lbs or even 5 kg badge - and the 1 stone badge is just a week away at the rate you are going!
You are doing this - despite mental health problems, despite living in a house where healthy foods are far apart and where support is lacking. You are taking control of your life and you are improving things, one little step at a time. So don't be so hard on yourself. Give yourself credit for the progress you have already made. Very well done!
But you are obese and have to accept that it is going to take a while to lose the weight you want to lose. It will not be all gone by Christmas. You are in this for the long run.
Yes. You are right. I think I need to download the NHS 12 week plan app again, so that I can log my losses. Because sometimes it feels like I'm not making much progress.
I think this outburst was more of a result of my frustration with my diet. I knew that the diet I was on wasn't very sustainable, as moreless explains. So, I'm going to eat 3 meals a day. I don't think food restriction is good for my mental health either.
Oh, and ugh, this is going to be a LONG journey. But, I think I'll be happy once I'm in the early-mid 200s. I just want to be a more "acceptable" type of fat. Not 'a "Oh, my gosh. Look how fat she is!" as I walk down the street' type of fat. I also want to be able to see my family again, which I can't do at this size.
Thanks for the reply!
Hi Jordan as a depression sufferer myself I can tell you that the negative thoughts you are having is down to this. The feelings are real but the thoughts aren't. This is why I think getting help from the doctor for your issues would help. Many meds don't cause weight gain - I am on sertraline and they don't. I think too that counselling is the way to go for you. If you don't like your doctor isn't there another one you can see?
You are an adult and you haven't got to tell anyone if you don't want to and this includes your family. They might not believe in it but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. My mother was the same and her opinion was always 'I always had to cope on my own and I never had the time to seek help'. This helped her maybe but certainly not me. By the time I sought counselling I was in my mid 20's and it took longer to start helping me because of the delay.
It is of course up to you but that's my advice. If you want to try the self help route then google mindfullness. You can also do online counselling courses but you would have to pay.
I get what you mean about the depression site as it can be depressing. But don't forget the other side of the coin as it can be great to chat to others who understand. It makes you feel less alone.
Thank you. I'm looking through the course right now. I think I really need to look into meditations and mindfulness. Especially as I'm not going to be able to get help with my depression from a GP. I don't think I'll ever be happy, until I lose weight. I've noticed that depression is very prevalent among morbidly obese women and girls.
Again, thank you. I had never heard of mindfulness, but I have been looking into meditations and yoga. Maybe I can integrate them all together. Your post was very helpful.
Yes, I follow a few social anxiety and depression forums. To be honest, I did kind of let them go a bit as I started my weight loss journey. I should probably visit them more often. I feel like sometimes I need to give my mind a 'break', because I basically ponder on my weight 24/7.
You are more than welcome Jordan. I will say though from my own experience that I find losing weight is greatly hindered by my depression coz I comfort eat too much. I wish you the best.
I used to do exactly what you are doing and at the beginning I would lose a bit extra weight then I just come to a stop. Next thing you know i'd be losing nothing and occasionally putting weight on and my body would look flabbier and flabbier as time went on. I could never understand why I was always putting on weight. When I joined here I realised I was still doing the same and mentioned about the stop. I got asked about my calories and said I was eating less. I was then told this was why this always happened to me because my body thought I was starving it and turned what I did eat into body fat and this weighs more than eating the extra calories does so it stopped me losing weight and sometimes put weight on me. When I stopped and ate the right amount I lost weight again and also don't look anywhere near as fatty as when I was once this same weight before. It really makes a big difference. Don't make this same mistake. It will be fairly slow but definitely worth it. My hubby and other family members says I look really healthy now and look to him like I am healthy bmi even though the calculator still says I am obese. Good luck with your journey.
Lots of love to you. You've done great so far so don't beat yourself up. It's really all going exactly to plan. Remember that if you lose 1lb a week, that's 3stone 10 lbs in a year. You can't go back to your old eating habits. This is a lifestlye xhange and you'll reap the benefits every day, all along the way. Best wishes to you and wishing you lots of support along the way.💙
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