So, here we are again. I don't know why I'm so saddened by being at this point once again. If the rest of my life is anything to go by, then this should've been totally expected. I can't think of one point in my life where I've achieved anything worthy. It's been a hell, full of failure.
Let me cut to the chase. I've gained 1½lbs since last Wednesday. I didn't expect this. I didn't do anything drastically different this week. Really, I'm quite a boring, repetitive person. You've most likely picked up on this through my writing and vocabulary.
The only thing I've really changed is… I don't even know. Maybe a few of the days, I tried my hardest to hit between the amount of calories suggested by the BMI calculator, as opposed to the very beginning of my "weight loss" journey (I was under-eating).
I was so stupid. I got sucked in by others' successes on here. I thought that I should aspire to their accomplishments, that they would be achievable for me. But, there was always an inkling of doubt that lingered in the back of my head, reminding me of the stupidity in it.
Which brings me to the point I'm at now…
I'm genuinely considering dropping this all. This is a totally serious consideration, unlike my other posts that can be attributed to bursts of frustration.
I've skipped college for 3 days, which started on Monday when I caught on to the trajectory my "weight loss" was going. It has been arguably the worst few days of my life in a while, years.
I've never been religious nor superstitious, but I'm starting to wholeheartedly believe I've been cursed from birth, lol.
Gosh, what a "life"… it hurts so much.