Hello, I'm sophie, new here and I'm 17st at 20 years old and I'm struggling to stop eating, I struggle with mental illness and I always have no energy to do a thing, no one helps motivate me or helps push me I would love to be 13-14 st would be my happiest or just a little above, no one believes in me anymore, I'm just wanting to break down and cry, what could help motivate me to try keep me going?


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18 Replies

  • Hello Sophie and welcome to forum.

    In the absence of support from family, rest assured, advice and encouragement won't be in short supply from members of the forum, since it's ultimately what we seek to provide.

    I'm sure that one of moderators will soon welcome you, but if you've not already done so, take a look at the NHS 12 Week Plan, which also includes a BMI calculator. The calculator allows minimum and maximum calorie recommendations to be calculated, based upon current measurements and level of activity.

    Alongside regular exercise/increased activity and reduced consumption of refined carbohydrates/sugary food, provided that a deficit is maintained from maximum recommendation, ensuring that the deficit introduced doesn't exceed minimum recommendation, weight should begin to reduce.

    Keep in mind that a weekly loss of up to 2lbs is both manageable and sustainable, so try to maintain a sense of perspective throughout your journey, thus, appreciating that the excess didn't accumulate overnight, so it's not going to be lost overnight, either.

    In terms of motivation, although an end goal may be possessed, simply focus upon the day-to-day, by maintaining a calorie deficit, seeking to increase level of exercise/activity and reducing consumption of cakes, sweets, pastries and white varieties of pasta, bread, rice and potato in favour of complex carbohydrates (such as oats, quinoa, lentils, bulgar-wheat, legumes), while also opting for non-starchy vegetables, such as broccoli, kale, spinach, peppers, lettuce and cauliflower, alongside fruit, such as apples, grapes, cherries and plums.

    It wouldn’t hurt to consult the Glycemic Index, to obtain a greater idea of the kind of foods that are low upon the GI scale, since a low GI diet is far more beneficial to your cause.

    Those foods with a GI of 60 or above should only be enjoyed occasionally.

    Although considered healthy by many, a baked potato measures in at 85 on the GI scale (food for thought).

    Fat can and should still be eaten. Simply ensure that it’s obtained from fish, avocados, nuts and seeds, in addition to virgin olive oil, for example, while limiting consumption of processed meat.

    Moderate consumption of dairy produce, such as whole milk, butter, full fat yoghurt and cheese can still be enjoyed, too.

    Although, it’s considered a MCT, coconut oil is still a saturated fat, so it ought to be consumed in moderation. However, it is fantastic for maintaining the health and condition of hair, skin and nails, so begin/continue to apply it.

    As for protein, provided that it’s obtained from lean meat, fish, eggs and whey powder, it’s difficult to go wrong; just ensure that it constitutes 30-35% of total calorie intake, ensuring that existing muscle mass is maintained as weight is lost.

  • Morning Sophie 👋🏻

    Firstly I'm really glad you came onto this site. It takes a lot of courage to ask for help and you are in one of the best places for support and advice.

    As MrNiceGuy advised have a look at the NHS 12 week plan. It will help you to work out your BMI and that will give you your calorie allowance. It will help you to do a bit of planning for your meals so that you can adapt it to you personally. Also have a look at the Daily Diary. It will give you an idea of what others do to get through the day. You will soon find that you don't have to stop eating but just change a few things to help you make better choices. Don't think of it as a "Diet" but a healthier way of life and take it one day at a time.

    Some people find it helpful to log on daily, or even put on the Daily Diary what they are eating. You would get feed back to help keep you on track and it might help you to see your not alone, we are all on here to try and be healthier.

    You mentioned that you often have no energy, it could be because of the extra weight you carrying or the type of food you might be eating. I'm sure you will start to feel better once you start to loose a few pounds and you are making better food choices. You would be surprised the difference it can make to how we feel about ourselves.

    You said you suffer with mental illness. I hope you are getting support from your doctors with it. Sometimes when we are feeling low we can turn to food for comfort, many people on here are emotional eaters, myself included, but slowly it can be turned around and you will find other things to reward yourself with.( new, top, new shoes, new CD!) lol

    Depression and low self-esteem are just a few of the feelings that make us feel rotten. You said that no one believes in you any more. You have to believe in yourself. You have taken that first big step to ask for help and everyone on here has been in that position. All of these guys on here will be here for you, myself included.

    Sorry I've gone on, but you are so young and you have a whole life time to enjoy yourself.

    I'm giving you a "virtual hug" 🤗 because I believe in you Sophie, you can do this!

    Take care and I know there will be loads of others on here too that will say the same. 😊👋🏻👍🏻

  • Started crying at this! I've never had someone give me the means to carry on but being here has made me feel like I finally belong somewhere x

  • Yay!

    Glad we have all helped to encourage you.

    Sorry didn't mean to make you cry but it's in a good way so that's acceptable. Even though I'm on hols I'm still available to chat any time but there are lots of other brilliant people on here too so don't be scared you've already taken the hardest first step to your new healthier journey.

    Good luck 😘

  • Thank you ♥️♥️

  • Hi Sophie, well done for being brave and strong making the first move to get help with your issues.

    I'm sure the Administrator will be in touch with you soon with more information about the group forum.

    Good luck to you.💐

  • Thank you so much ♥️

  • Hi Sophie, Gemini is cool and you don't need to cry 🙂

    Just wait until it is years of joy😂

    George 56 🙂

    Happy Weekend G.

  • Thank you ♥️☺️

  • Yeah, well done Sophie! Your situation sounds tough. Is there any exercising activity that you like, such as walking or swimming? Might be good to identify these, if any? And it sounds to me that you'll have more chance of success to do this with other people, rather than on your own.

  • I used to like swimming but as being a big girl and having anxiety really doesn't help, I hardly leave my house unless I have my mum or brother, I just never have energy I struggle getting out of bed but I'm going to start my new life and hopefully for the better x

  • If you download an app that let's you enter what you eat and exercise you can see what foods are good for you and keep a record of calories.

  • Hello and welcome Smidge20 you have had a lovely welcome there 😊

    Have a good look around and just ask if you have any questions

    Best wishes


  • Ps I forgot to say that are a few suggestions on how to get the most out of the forum Smidge20 Please note if you are using the new HU App many of these features are not available so I suggest you use the full website version.

    The first place to look is at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), read the Welcome Newbie thread first and move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you

    Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news

    Have a look at the NHS 12 week plan, as many people have had success with it. Also use the BMI checker to find your target calories, it's important to eat enough. This was a major turning point for me, realising I could eat anything I wanted as long as the calories are accounted for

    Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate

    The forum also have group weigh-ins every day, as well as a new Daily Diary, if you wish to take part. The posts can always be found in the Events section on the 'home' page

    You'll notice a grey box next to people's names, these are achievement badges, and as a new member you have a 'Newbie' badge. We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too. If you have any questions please just ask

    Best wishes


  • Thank you so much to this, just makes me think to carry on and even make strangers proud of me! ♥️

  • Great support Anna as usual.

    You are all super George ☺️

  • Hi Sophie you have made the first step. There are lots of people on here going thru similar situations. When you are overweight and have a lot to lose it is difficult to find the motivation but each small step brings you closer to your goal weight. Take all the advice that people on here give some will work for you while somethings won't. I find that when I eat healthy and cut out all the snacks and treats that I feel instantly better. I need to up my exercise but being overweight makes me feel tired and my legs get sore but I keep telling myself that if I keep it up I will begin to feel better and I must admit I can do a lot more now than I did 6 weeks ago. We will never get a quick fix, they don't work but slow and steady you will get there.

  • Hi Smidge20 do make sure during your diet that you do not eat less calories than it tells you to eat to be able to lose weight on the bmi calculator. When I first joined I was never eating enough calories as I was only eating around 1000 Cals as I thought I would reach my goal faster but this was not the case. Your body thinks you are starving it and turns what you do eat into body fat instead and this weighs more than eating the extra calories does. This is why you do not lose weight and sometimes put weight on. As soon as I started eating between the amount it tells you to eat to lose weight I started then losing weight and have now lost around 2st. Good luck with your journey here and hope all goes well for you.

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