Weight Loss NHS
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Struggling with self esteem

So I am new here as I trying anything to lose this excess weight! As of this morning I am 13 stone 3 the heaviest weight I have ever been. I started the gym a year ago and have been 2 to 3 times every week (give or take a holiday), I have cut out a lot of processed foods and I have begun making my meals smaller, but nothing seems to work. I am now at the point where I am so unhappy with my body that I have stopped myself going on a trip abroad as I am terrified what others think of me. How can I improve my self esteem and get on track with weight loss. I appreciate any help you can give me!

8 Replies

Oh Dear Lauren, please don't be so down on yourself. You are going to the gym so you must be fitter. You said you have made you meals smaller,how small? You don't need to starve to lose weight, in the last 12 weeks I have lost 12lbs not a lot, but I have eaten really well. I do My Fitness Pal Food Diary and it is surprising all those hidden little things you eat without thinking about add up. Start weighing everything for a week, a little time consuming but it will give you an insight into portion size. Start moving more, walking is good, gets you out and it's free. Eat as clean as you can, move more and love yourself because you are worth it :-)


Thank you for your kind words! 12lb is a great achievement btw! I think I'm just so used to my current portion size I have no idea what is considered normal anymore! But i will take your advice and start measuring things, hopefully this will get me back on track!


The My fitness Pal app is really good, you can scan products and weigh everything, you then get to know how much an apple or that bar of chocolate is in calories. Remember you probably putting on muscle if you are exercising as well. I find the step counters also really good where I aim to at least walk 10,000 steps a day. You will have highs and lows but remember why you are doing this and at time the odd treat or sneaky biscuit is fine. Keep with it, weigh everything is the key


G'day Lauren,

Just weighing yourself will never give you the full picture. Use a tape measure once a month and keep a food diary. Look at cronometer and use that to ensure you are getting a full range of nutrition. Cutting down your portion sizes isn't the answer. You shouldn't be hungry. Instead, as karengail said, eat clean, unprocessed foods and stay away from ingredients you don't recognise. Finally, look out for hidden sugar. You find it in many places, including a lot of so called 'diet foods' Sugar not burnt off will be stored as fat.

If you ever feel your self getting down, write something positive that you have done, seen or felt. Give yourself permission to be happy as you are not defined by your weight. The more you focus on your weight, the harder it will be to lose.


Hello LaurenS91 and welcome to the Weight Loss Forum 😊

You sound like me 2 years ago, nothing seemed to work, but as others have suggested, my issue was portion control, and 'forgetting' snacks. Have a read of the suggestions here, and I strongly recommend the Daily Diary 😊 Please note if you are using the new HU App many of these features are not available so I suggest you use the full website version.

The first place to look is at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), read the Welcome Newbie thread first and move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you ☺

Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news ☺

Have a look at the NHS 12 week plan, as many people have had success with it. Also use the BMI checker to find your target calories, it's important to eat enough. This was a major turning point for me, realising I could eat anything I wanted as long as the calories are accounted for ☺

Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate ☺

The forum also have group weigh-ins every day, as well as a new Daily Diary, if you wish to take part. The posts can always be found in the Events section on the 'home' page ☺

You'll notice a grey box next to people's names, these are achievement badges, and as a new member you have a 'Newbie' badge. We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too. If you have any questions please just ask ☺

Best wishes



Hugs, sounds like you've tried but not succeeded yet. It's natural to feel upset when you try hard and not getting any result (at least it feels that way sometimes). I can relate to that.

To me, it's what on the inside matters the most. What touches me is not a person's appearance, but what she/he's like as a person. People do judge based on appearance, but sensible people do know it's not the right thing to do, and they'll quickly turn their focus on what they need to focus on in their own lives. You should feel good about yourself for making efforts trying to get healthy, seek help when needed. In the end, your appearance is no one else's business. If they judge you that way and deliberately make you feel bad. Then they're not very nice people and not worth wasting time on.

You're of course right trying to lose weight to be more healthy and feel good about yourself. I feel losing weight is good for my physical and mental health (When I eat good stuff, I do right things, I feel good). I find my fitness pals helpful when I comes knowing exactly your calories intake and how much you burn. You can calculate your own daily calories allowance using it, so you get a clear picture of your calories intake and outgoing. It's also worth check to see if you have any underlying health issues, maybe your GP can help.

Good luck and have a nice day!


Morning Laurenseaton, first off: consider yourself hugged! Wish I could be there to give you a big hug but hopefully a virtual hug will do just as good.

Sweetheart, you are amongst friends here, I joined last night and for the first time in many years, I actually feel as I maybe just maybe I have found the key to weight loss... I think for me being surrounded by so many kind supportive helpful people on this forum will be the key for me. I know that people will understand me here, that they will genuinely care about how I am feeling and that they can give me tried and tested advice.

I need to lose 6 stone, I have changed my mindset from wanting the unachievable (ie looking like woman do on TV/magazines and thinking if I looked like that my ex would not have left me, if I looked like that I would be happier) to thinking I want to be healthy, I want to feel good about myself and I want to be a role model to my 12 year old daughter).

I think my advice from one newbie to another is keep linking in with the forum, it will pick you up if you feel low and give you a genuine congratulations when you do hit a high.

I think you just need to set mini goals, and then allow yourself to recognise that you are achieving along the way. Losing weight is not easy, but lets do it together.

Big hugs, Kath xx

1 like

Thank you so much! It's my first day here and I have already received so much support! I am already feeling more positive about the whole thing.

I have also been in your position of comparing myself to others and blaming all my problems with my weight. I went through a phase of constantly saying "when I am thinner I will do this", but I have realised the only thing stopping me is myself. I need to kinder to myself and hopefully with the support of everyone here I can succeed.

I wish you all the best with your weight loss journey too :)

Hugs, Lauren xxx


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