Control myself

Week three of the NHS 12 week plan reboot has not gone well, exercise is minimal and I've started off my days healthy but by the time the kids are in bed I'm snacking on things I shouldn't or my OH has nipped out and come back with some "snacks" to aid with studying ( I'm talking about Cornish pasties and very unhealthy fatty things, eclairs are his fave at the moment) I know I don't have to eat them but it's like I'm doing it to also make him happy since he went to the effort. I have spoken to him but I think we are both feeling low as well, and as soon as one of us mentions takeout or snacks the other just goes with it.

I know I have to be stronger and maybe lead by example, we already have healthy snacks in, it's just pure gluttony followed by a helping of shame and despair over the lack of self control 😔

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15 Replies

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  • Hi MummyDebbie and well done for posting your struggles when it could be so easy to just hide.

    Up to now you've been going well and losing weight... do you think anything has changed? Is the snacking something you were already doing or is it something that has started this week and if so can you pinpoint why?

    You've tried chatting to your OH but the reality, is that it does come down to us to make the choices to manage our lives (which is another way of saying to be 'good' to yourself). Choosing between a Cornish pasty (750cals) and an apple (90cals) can't be easy (I'd love to wolf down a pasty) but it is still a choice that has to be made.

    How do you track your calories (I'm assuming you're calorie counting)? From day 1 I've not eaten anything (almost) without calculating its calories first, adding them to my spreadsheet and seeing how many calories that leaves me for the rest of the day. It can be a strong modifier to see it in black and white before making that choice to actually eat it.

    Please don't be upset with yourself, this isn't an easy journey but at least you're here looking for a way forward. Forget about what has transpired between your last weigh in and now, that can't be changed but make today your new day one and a fresh start.

    Keep posting and reading here and I look forward to hearing how you're progressing and we're all here whichever way it pans out for you.

    Good luck!

  • The "snacks" have been slowly creeping in, and has gotten out of hand, I think it's just late nights, early morning ( I have a child almost 1 and doesn't sleep through the night just yet and my eldest almost 3 gets up early lol) and trying to find time for everything in between. I use MyFitnessPal to count calories but I've been doing it that long I'm not sure it's having the correct effect as if I go over, I then go really over even though I know it's stupid but I'm thinking I feel bad anyway so let's make it worth it.

    I seriously sound like the child now lol.

    Thank you for replying though, it helps knowing others are there and understand, especially since other social media platforms put things across as everyone is happy. :)

  • You don't sound like a child or if you are then I'm one of considerable more years than you who theoretically should know better... yet only a couple of days ago, I did exactly that with pretty much the same thought process.

    You've highlighted the issue by voicing it and I always think that you're always more than 50% of the way there just by recognising what the hurdle ahead is.

    I wish your OH all the best but you need to find a solution for yourself whether he gets involved or not.

    For what it's worth and in the few short months that I've been changing my lifestyle, I've noticed those closest to me making positive changes in their lives. I haven't said anything to them but I think that people react more positively when those around them are.

    Good luck with this and your studies and your kids (can't say I envy you all that ;) )

  • So easy to do, so you have to add the Not to that and make it easier not to do. Try adding some healthy naughty bits to the diet. I looked on the recipe for snacks and made banana and apple muffins. I did freeze in twos as I could have binged but if you had those then maybe something to bring out when he says he's off for a pastie. 750 cals is a whole meal and much more. Easy said not so easy to do

  • That's is a good idea, I like baking i just never thought to freeze the things Like muffins that I've made 😳 I will try that.

  • Hi Debbie, you've already had some great advice, but how about joining the Daily Diary? By logging on, you have to think about what you're going to eat and what exercise you're going to do and you'll be declaring it publicly. This has the effect of focusing you and stiffening your resolve.

    There are so many interesting and delicious things posted, that you'll be spoilt for choice and the enthusiasm and support, are fantastic :)

    Hoping to see you there today :)

  • Sounds good :)

    The worst part is I have meal plans sorted I just need to stick to just the meal plan, but as suggested in other comments I need to add something a bit naughty, so I'm gonna get baking and freezing the stuff lol

  • That's great, I wish I could do the same myself, but I have no 'off' switch! One naughty mouthful, results in dozens!! :D

    Good luck! :)

  • I am new and dieted afore so no expert just trying things that helped me get through. The other thing I will say is do not be bad to yourself. draw a line start again. Forgiving oneself and not then feeling bad and comfort eating because if like me I think oh I have been bad then all goes out the window so to speak. Say okay I'm not at square one I have just reversed slightly now lets try moving on again. slowly and praising yourself all the way. I have 8 stone to do that with. So please can you can help me on my reverse days.

  • We will all be here.

  • Thank you

  • I was going to suggest the same, MummyDebbie, that is, logging on to the Daily Diary, as I wonder whether, if you rebalanced what you are eating in the earlier part of the day, you wouldn't be so hungry later when the kids in bed and then so vulnerable to temptation? Especially as you say that you already have healthy snacks around.

    Joining the DD would give you some really good ideas for meals, lots of variation, and allow you to track what you are eating and when. You may find, for example, that a different sort of healthy breakfast and lunch, works better for you. Porridge works for some people, an omelette for others. Some love beans and lentils for lunch or a main meal, others prefer chicken and veggies, etc.

    Life with young kids is exhausting and if you are both tired all the time, it is so easy to grab what seems like a soothing high-cal snack or easy takeaway. You say exercise is minimal, but if you can fit in even a 15 mins fast walk daily, that will get your metabolism shifting and you will soon feel the benefit (and want to make it longer) I am sure.

    Here's a wild suggestion - next time DH pops out for the takeaway or snack, move the coffee table out of the way, slip into leggings, t-shirt and trainers, and try Lesley Sansone's Happy Walk on Youtube - 15 mins of energetic walking in your own living room! It's a great way to get back into exercising and easy to fit into a busy life. When he gets back you will feel so great that you will find it easy to have a half portion!

  • I will give happy walk a try thank you, my main problem I think has been a change I mood and it's spread out across the board, I think all the comments have helped and I am being better today. I will be logging my meals on the daily diary :)

  • Glad to hear you are feeling better today - and I am sure keeping in touch with the forum will help too :)

  • Snacksidents happen. don't beat yourself up as it leads to unhealthy relationship with food, unhealthy thoughts and moods. I doubt you will live the rest of your life without ever having another snacksident. Remove the emotion, it happened, move forward with healthy choices 🙂 And be kind to yourself.......you'll be surprised how a kinder mindset will help your weight loss journey ❤️

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