A Cry For Help....Please!!

hi everyone I'm new to this site. however I'm having trouble for years on how to begin to love myself. i barely look in the mirror because all i see is my size an nothing beyond that. i hav no interest in going out, meeting people or even trying to make myself feel good .i hav suicidal thoughts at times, I'm always depressed even when i take a glsnce of a mirror. i don't see anything for my future or even have a goal.my weight an size has always been the controller of my life.its like im stuck in an ugly shell which seems like a lifetime. so can someone who can relate to this give me advice other than telling me get a life or start doing me or anything of that sort i am currently seeing a psychologist an therapist. but i need more answers

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17 Replies

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  • Hi, welcome. Sorry you are feeling so sad. You can lose weight. Set a mini goal to lose a few lb and then build from there. You have come to the right place for support. ๐Ÿคž

  • Hi aishacedeno

    Welcome to the weight loss forum.

    Sorry to hear you feel that way because of your weight. Please remember it's only a number on the scales and it's not who you are. You have taken a very positive step today by posting here and we can all help and support you with your weight loss journey. I joined here last June and have nearly lost 5 stone so it can be done. This forum is a friendly suportive group.

    Have you spoke to your psychologist on how you feel about your weight, they may be able to help too?

    Take a look at the Welcome Newbie post in the Pinned post section at the right hand side or at the bottom if your on a mobile. Have a look at the nhs 12 week plan, many members have had success following this plan. Use the BMI checker to work out your daily calorie allowance.

    Below the Pinned posts are the Topics where members share a range of weight related subjects.

    Take your measurements at the start together with a photo so you can see the changes on the days the scales don't move.

    We have daily weigh ins so why not come along and join us today. You can find the weigh ins on the Home page in the Events section on the right. Just click on the post in Events and record your start weight and any loss/gain or maintain for the week.

    To get the most of the forum be active, share tips, recipes and experiences. Read some of the posts they are very motivating.

    Have a good first week.

    Rose

  • Hi and welcome aishacedeno :)

    Before I found this site, I weighed 19st 10lbs and hated myself. I hadn't left my house for years, because I didn't want anyone to see me. I was a miserable recluse, waiting to die.

    As a last ditch effort, I Googled weight loss and hit upon this site. I haven't looked back since! I'm now 7 stone lighter and life has never looked so good! I'm running, something I never thought I'd be able to do and leaving my house is now an exciting adventure, rather than a trauma to be avoided at all costs.

    The support that's on offer here, is second to none and everyone is as committed to everyone else's journey, as they are to their own.

    You've made the most important step and now all you have to do, is be brave and stick with us. We're here to help and support you, every step of the way.

    The wonderful thing about this forum, is that you can be the person you want to be, without having to worry about what you look like, because no-one can see you and no-one knows who you are. There will be no judgement, only friendship and caring :)

    Follow all the leads in YellowRose55's post and you can't go wrong. It works, I promise you :)

  • Well done Moreless, 7 stones โ˜บ๏ธ amazing and I am really pleased for you.

    Good thing you came here & got out of the house.

    I'm getting there slowly thanks to the group forum members for the support & information.๐Ÿ™‚ George 56

  • This community works it's magic on all of us George :)

  • How long have you been in therapy aishacedeno it does take a while and a lot of practice to see the effects of therapy. I think that if you can stick with us and lose a couple of lbs that you will feel better as it is an achievement. Each lb or 1/2 lb or 1/4 or maintain is an achievement and they all add up... maybe then you could have a bit of hope

  • I've been in therapy for almost 3yrs

  • Hi and welcome, I can assure you you will only get support, good advice and motivation from this forum, the people here are wonderful, no question is to silly, no post goes unanswered.

    We are all here to help each other, most of us have a lot of weight to lose, it's a journey we are all on, trust me when I tell you, you can do this, a little at a time and you will come to love the new you.

    Set small goals, make small changes, even a short walk is a start, an apple instead of a couple of biscuits, it will soon add up to pounds lost and most importantly keep active on the forum it does make a big difference ๐Ÿ˜†

    Good luck

    Kat xx

  • I avoided mirrors (and cameras) for years aishacedeno ๐Ÿ˜• Taking control of my eating, one bad habit at a time, slowly helped my confidence and self esteem. keeping a food diary, thinking about what you are eating and why, is very helpful ๐Ÿ˜Š Seize control. You are more than the number on the scale. You are among friends, we are all cheering you on ๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Nice one Anna, enjoy your Monday holiday.๐ŸŒน

  • thanks for d support

  • Good first move I hope you come and join the group forum, very nice and friendly members.

    I'm sure you can do this slowly and steadily.

    Happy Monday to you. ๐Ÿ™‚

    George 56

  • Where you say you have been trying to do this for years aishacedeno do you know how many calories you are having in a day. When I first joined I had always been wanting to lose weight but never seemed to get anywhere no matter what diet I tried. I checked how many calories I should be having to help me lose weight on the bmi calculator as advised and still decided to have less than this said, thinking I would be more likely to lose more weight. This was something I always seemed to do. To start with I wasn't losing any weight. Someone asked me how many calories I was having in a day and when I told them they told me it wasn't enough and this is probably why I wasn't losing weight because my body would think I was starving it and it would be turning what food I did eat into body fat to ensure my body could continue and this would be why I wasn't losing weight because this would weigh more than the extra few calories would. I thought about this and decided to eat a bit more to give it a try for a couple of weeks because most people I knew are more than me and were all skinnier than me and I started losing weight. I couldn't believe it, eating more and losing weight seemed amazing but now I have lost almost 2st. Do make sure this is not something you have also been doing too. If you have, then please make sure you think about this and check the right amount of calories you should be having on the bmi calculator and have somewhere around the middle amounts of the two amounts it gives you so this can be corrected. Good luck with your weight loss!

  • actually I've joined dietitian clinic. i started off good losing the weight.however i hav a eating problem. sometimes my appetite will cut .sometimes i forget to eat.sometimes jus thinking of food makes me sick

  • I'm sorry to hear how your feeling about yourself at the moment but your taking positive steps forward. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll continue your progress to a happier you. I was advised to check the horizon website to take a test of what type of eater I was. It may help you to find the right diet for you. However, the 12 week NHS plan saved me from myself. It helps you to change the way you view food and taught me to focus on my health not just number of calories. Don't give up on yourself, keep posting on here and making small positive steps in the right direction and you'll get there. Good luck with your weight loss journey.

  • thank u

  • Hi again, I've been through all this myself when I was married and the constant, 'you're ugly and fat and no man will look at you', from my ex husband, it use to get me down until I did something about it!!! I lost 5 stone doing Slimming World and I went from a size 20 to 10-12. Not only had my body and face changed but my confidence and attitide. I have put some of the weight on due to a divorce and moving area but I'm a 12-14 now and a lot healthier still, go gym and eat healthy even though I had a bad Bank holiday weekend as I went away but thats allowed LOL. Seriously though only you can make the difference, and you are a beautiful individual always remember that. Good luck x.

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