Hello - feeling helpless

I am 35 years old and have struggled with my weight all my life. I have recently been on a holiday and put a swimsuit on for the first time in about 20 years. I taught my myself how to swim (move across the pool nothing graceful) and tread water. I have tilted kneecaps that the doctor has said I need to build up the muscle around but to be brutally honest I'm lazy. I have started walking to work this week (20 mins each way). I managed Monday and Tuesday and then could barely walk with legs and back aching. I drove on weds and felt like a failure. I am currently following the slimming world plan but from my books as I can no longer face the groups. Sitting in the background and reading the posts on here has helped me realise I'm not alone but I worry I will never be able to shift this weight (need to lose 10+ stone)

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11 Replies

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  • Morning Woolbee81

    Welcome to the weight loss forum.

    I was the same 9 months ago needed to lose 10st+ and up to now have lost nearly 5st so it can be done little by little.

    We're delighted that you've chosen to join us and would be interested to know how you found out about Health Unlocked and this forum.

    Take a look at the Welcome Newbie post in the Pinned post section at the right hand side or at the bottom if your on a mobile. Have a look at the nhs 12 week plan, many members have had success following this plan. Use the BMI checker to work out your daily calorie allowance.

    Below the Pinned posts are the Topics where members share a range of weight related subjects.

    Take your measurements at the start together with a photo so you can see the changes on the days the scales don't move.

    We have daily weigh ins so why not come along and join us today. You can find the weigh ins on the Home page in the Events section on the right. Just click on the post in Events and record your start weight and any loss/gain or maintain for the week.

    To get the most of the forum be active, share tips, recipes and experiences. Read some of the posts they are very motivating.

    Have a good first week.

    Rose

  • I just joined today and think there are many of us in similar situations. I've done the same myself, cancelled a gym class due to a painful knee or just tired and then felt like I had done the worst thing ever! We need to be kinder to ourselves. We need to be accountable but not beat ourselves up over 1 hiccup.

    Good luck with your journey!

  • I know you are right but it's so easy to beat myself up. It just feels like the tunnel is way too long to see even a flicker of light at the moment. I don't work today but will be walking again tomorrow as I can do this!!!

  • Hey Woolbee and welcome to the site. Lets look at some positives shall we. Firstly you're here, you know there is something you need to change and you need some help and encouragement, you're in the right place. Secondly, in 2 days you've done half the recommended exercise for a week as per the 12 week plan, that's great! Sounds like doing it twice in a row has been a bit too much too soon, maybe you could alternate walking days until you get more used to the increased exercise levels. Thirdly, great job on the swimming, it's an excellent low impact exercise option, you can practice your new talent and shift weight at the same time!

    Just remember you didn't get the way you are overnight, just like me it took time, crept on here and there, over months and years. It's not going to come off overnight either, not in a week, or a month. You'll need to set yourself up for the long haul. This isn't a diet, it's about learning a healthy lifestyle through a combination of keeping active and eating healthily and in the correct proportions.

    I've only been here a week, it's a very encouraging forum, we'll celebrate your wins and forgive your bad days (you will have them, we all do). I've learned a lot in a short time and it's been a big help in getting my mindset right for my healthier lifestyle journey.

  • Hi and welcome Woolbee81

    Maybe you are trying to do a little bit too much to soon, this really needs to be a slow journey, so how about walking every other day to start? swimming is fantastic do you have a local pool or hotel with a pool (this worked out cheaper for me) even once a week is better than none.

    The group situation is often daunting, on here we are all rooting for you, there's no judgment only support, motivation, help and tips,

    You can do this, it takes time but even small changes can make a big difference. I personally found the whole 'diet' thing made me eat more, but thanks to the support on here I've changed my mind set I'm healthy eating and having fun, I hope you get as much benefit from this forum and these wonderful people as I am/have.

    Just remember little steps, you are a wonderful person who can achieve anything

    Good luck

    Kat xx

  • When we try and fail it is easier to return to our old ways . And when we start seeing the scales going down each week it makes it all worth while . You have made the right decision in addressing your issue so don't beat yourself just take it day by day . We don't put on extra weight over months and it is a slow process to start getting back to a health weight limit . You will find this forum very helpful in assisting your goal.

  • What everyone else said!

    Well done for being here, everyone is very friendly. You have begun, so that's great.

    Be kind to yourself, you can do this.

  • I think Stevo5585 has got it absolutely spot on - you really don't have to be perfect, you know, just willing! Change one or two things and you're already altering the mindset that got you to where you are now, and that's a real cause for celebration. There's a great motto on this site that goes something like "if you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always had" - in other words, carry on the way you are and nothing will change. Do something differently and it will - and you have. So keep it up, and when you have those rough days don't give up, it really is just a day to be got through, not the end of the world!

  • Hi and welcome. Firstly, congratulations on taking the steps to strengthen your knees and to lose weight. You may have just overdone it the first two days of walking which is why you were hurting the next day, so just try and take it slow and steady. Has the doctor given you any specific exercises to do - perhaps non-weight bearing ones so you can strengthen gradually? I am not a medic, so just speak from experiences from rehab after injuries and with osteoarthritis. Anyway, I wish you well in your efforts and keep my fingers crossed for you. At 35, you are far too young to give in! (I'm 63 and still trying to lose weight for the future). Best of luck.

  • Don't lose hope, you will do this xx

    I would recommend looking at yoga, I would say only try iyengar yoga as it is very slow and precise and they use things like blocks and a belt to help you do the pose without being too flexible. It will help your knees I am sure

    You are amazing to learn to swim and that is such an achievement which proves you can be brave and determined, you will be able to use your superpowers to be the healthy person you are aiming for

    Good luck xxxx

  • Hello there, I'm new too. And determined. And I can't face slimming groups either. You are not alone:-))

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