Denial is so easy

I quit smoking last year. It's great, I had more money and I stopped coughing as much but it meant I sat inside the cafe at work and had an extra chocolate bar to keep me occupied. I knew I started gaining weight but figured it was winter and I work with horses so I'd burn it off eventually. I didn't.

I then went on a road trip during January through France and Spain with my sister. It was amazing but those long hours sat down eating malteasers and crisps added up even though we were walking for hours through cities.

I quit my job when I came back and as I looked for another I got a little depressed so I sat and I ate. I did a bit of exercise to keep up the pretense that I didn't have to worry. I got a new job and ate to celebrate because I'm working with horses so its OK, it doesn't matter.

We went skiing and during the lessons leading up to it I could just about squeeze into my salopettes but they started splitting on the side. I still pretended it was OK besides I was falling over so much I didn't care. It's also lead to an ankle that still is swollen and painful even a few weeks later which isn't helping.

Yesterday I went to the doctors to have a review done for a repeat prescription and part of that review was to be weighed. The doctor started chuckling when I removed my work boots but they're heavy so there was no way I was being weighed with them on. 62kgs, 9st 7 was the result. I'm 4ft11 so this puts me firmly in the overweight category. I spent most of last night texting my sister saying the scales must be wrong because I can't be that heavy but in the cold light of morning I'm thinking it was right.

The problem is I'm lazy and I like to justify that I spend at least 6 hours a day on my feet without stopping at work so on my time off its acceptable to sit down and watch the telly for hours. At my old job that number was higher. I ride once a week and I've started swimming. I've cut down on the snacks and the fizzy drinks. It's not helping that I have visibly swollen tendons in my ankle and some days it's excruciating to walk on, I know it needs rest but I can't do that so it's restricting what exercise I can do.

The hunger is horrendous, no matter what I eat I feel hungry. It's like the off switch in my head is broken. I can eat huge portions and still want more so now I've cut down it's worse and I get irritable and snappy when I'm hungry.

All that said I want to drop 12 kilos and get back to 50 KGS which is better for me. It's just difficult. Looks like I'll have to buy those scales I put back the other day because I didn't want to know.

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1 Reply

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  • Morning Lyss

    Welcome to the weight loss forum.

    We're delighted that you've chosen to join us and would be interested to know how you found out about Health Unlocked and this forum.

    Take a look at the Welcome Newbie post in the Pinned post section at the right hand side or at the bottom if your on a mobile. Have a look at the nhs 12 week plan, many members have had success following this plan. Use the BMI checker to work out your daily calorie allowance.

    Below the Pinned posts are the Topics where members share a range of weight related subjects.

    Take your measurements at the start together with a photo so you can see the changes on the days the scales don't move.

    We have daily weigh ins so why not come along and join us today. You can find the weigh ins on the Home page in the Events section on the right. Just click on the post in Events and record your start weight and any loss/gain or maintain for the week.

    To get the most of the forum be active, share tips, recipes and experiences. Read some of the posts they are very motivating.

    Have a good first week.

    Rose

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