Tired newbie

Hi everyone 🙋

I'm a 49 year old single mum of one who works full-time and runs around for afterschool activities most of the week.

After work, i can't find the energy or inclination to do anything but relax and I seem to naturally crave 2000 calories per day. Guaranteed if I don't add up my calories as I go along, they always end up at this figure. I lose then gain 2lbs over and over and hover around 12st. I use to be a constant 9 half stone.

how can I break the cycle? Any advise?


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11 Replies

  • Hi bellejane68 and welcome.

    Well done for juggling work and all the requirements of looking after your child. It can't be easy to stay focused on yourself as well.

    It sounds like you already have some idea of what you should be doing but like you say, just having trouble sticking to it. Breaking out of any cycles are so difficult and we all have our personal reasons as to why we are in them.

    A great quote that I came across on this forum that I keep in mind daily (because I have to) is,

    "if you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you've always got".

    Each time I find myself being negative, in whatever form that may take, I try to quote that to myself. Of course, spouting generic quotes may not be even remotely inspirational to you and there's no reason why it should.

    Since Jan 1, I have 'always' made sure to add my food items to my spreadsheet before consuming them and like you, those times when I haven't are nearly all my 'fail' days. Is there a way of making it easier to update your calorie counter as you put the food items on a plate?

    Wishing you all the best.

  • Thank you. Love the quote and the calorie counter idea.

  • I was in a similar situation when I started my journey. I'm 45 and have two kids, one with special needs. My kids are 10 and 13. I'm married but my husband works and travels a lot, so not always home to partake.

    What really changed things for me this time around is that I am insisting on spending around 5 hours a week on training. I run three times a week in a club and there is no pardon. I never skip a run, only if I'm sick.

    On Tuesdays my youngest has gymnastics at 6 o'clock and my running starts at 5.30, so I don't have time to bring her there. She goes with a friend and I pick them up afterwards.

    On Thursdays, she has gymnastics again at 6 o'clock and my running starts at the same time, so I bring her there 10 minutes earlier which allows me to get to where I am going in time. My eldest is a scout and his weekly meeting starts at 6.30. He cycles there by himself. At 8 o'clock I pick up my daughter and at 8.45 I pick up my son.

    On Saturdays they are home alone for two hours in the morning if my husband is not around.

    I bring my phone and can always be reached, I also bring my credit card so that I can jump in a taxi and be home in a maximum of 10 minutes (live in the city and never run far away). I've never had to do that though.

    The logistics can be daunting but it is worth it! I have fallen in love with running head over heels and have lost 14 kg in the process. Not just by running, also calorie counting.

    I hope you can make time for yourself too.

  • Thank you. I use to be a runner when I was younger. Long runner for school but the idea now seems a bit daunting as I'm so unfit. I've never ran alone before. I'm amazed at how you've fit an exercise regime around the kids activities. Genius. Now you've got me thinking. Thanks again 😊

  • Hi. I do understand how you feel I am a bit older, with grown up daughter, but find it hard to motivate after a day at work. I have just started couch to 5K. Only done one session, but because that was relatively easy, feel motivated to continue. Could you perhaps choose one thing to change? When you have made that a new habit, then find something else. This might be a slow way to do things, but will result in new habits and because it is only one small thing, you will feel that you have achieved, rather than failed. How about just cutting out one of your normal snacks/drinks and finding an alternative?

  • I'll look into the 5k couch challenge especially as you say it isn't too challenging to start off with. I need to start off slowly and build from there. Feeling inspired. Thank you 😊

  • Inspirational PippiRuns just shows what you can do if you put your mind to it!

  • Hello bellejane68 and welcome to the weight loss forum ☺

    To get off the weight loss see-saw involves a change in mindset. I am definitely not "on a diet" but have changed the way I eat permanently. I follow a generous plan so I don't feel deprived and have accepted that this is how I will need to eat for life. 😊

    Here are a few suggestions for getting the most from the forum.

    The first place to look is at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), read the Welcome Newbie thread first and move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you ☺ (Please note if you are using the new HU App these facilities aren't available yet so you may prefer to use the full website version)

    Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news ☺

    Have a look at the NHS 12 week plan, as many people have had success with it. Also use the BMI checker to find your target calories, it's important to eat enough. This was a major turning point for me, realising I could eat anything I wanted as long as the calories are accounted for ☺

    Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate ☺

    The forum also have group weigh-ins every day if you wish to take part. The posts can always be found in the Events section on the 'home' page ☺

    You'll notice a grey box next to people's names, these are achievement badges, and as a new member you may have a 'Newbie' badge. If you have any questions or would like a Newbie badge please just ask ☺

    We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too ☺

    Best wishes


  • Thank you 😊

  • I would second the exercise route. I'm not a runner but I do play racketball 2/4 times a week and walk quite a lot (with my dog). There's obviously the benefit of weight loss when combined with diet (5:2 in my case) but the psychological benefits cannot be underestimated. I might feel unenthusiastic coming in from work then having to go straight out to play but feel re energised after a game and far less likely to snack on rubbish for some reason. Find a form of exercise you enjoy otherwise it's less easy to stick to it if it becomes a chore. Good luck!

  • Thank you very informative 😊

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