Fed up, feeling crap, almost 40 and fatter then ever !!!

Hello all, I'm a newbie - 40 in a few months time I'm wanting to look good for everything I have planned yet I can't seem to pull myself together. I've joined loads of different slimming groups online and classes yet nothing seems to work I can't even get past day one. I'm waiting for the lift bulb moment to go off but it's not yet, times ticking & I am worried sick that I'm going to get diabetes when I see the doctor next. I hate myself and seeing myself in a mirror I'm disgusting I've been called lots of names due to my weight yet even that doesn't seem to stop me eating crap. I say every weekend I'll start Monday and Monday comes I don't do it, it's a vicious circle when will it stop, I can't stop eating junk food, treats and generally binging on nice food - help ๐Ÿ™


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31 Replies

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  • Hi KittyKat77

    Welcome to the weight loss forum.

    Please don't say you hate yourself, you can do this and there is a lot of support on here to help you.

    Take a look at the Welcome Newbie post in the Pinned post section at the right hand side or at the bottom if your on a mobile. Have a look at the nhs 12 week plan, many members have had success following this plan. Use the BMI checker to work out your daily calorie allowance.

    Below the Pinned posts are the Topics where members share a range of weight related subjects.

    Take your measurements at the start together with a photo so you can see the changes on the days the scales don't move.

    We have daily weigh ins so why not come along and join us. You can find the weigh ins on the Home page in the Events section on the right. Just click on the post in Events and record your start weight and any loss/gain or maintain for the week.

    To get the most of the forum be active, share tips, recipes and experiences. Read some of the posts they are very motivating.

    Have a good first week.


  • Thank you I will take a look x

  • I'm 21 and feel exactly like you. I've never stuck to a diet. Couple weeks ago I seen an advert for race for life, and thought you known what I'm going to do it, why not do it for a good cause and also my own health. I'm a long way off to being slim, but since I've seen the advert I've realized that all I needed was that little something to get me started. Today I went to the gym for the first time.

    Why don't you for example by a dress that you really want to wear but can't then maybe it will help you achieve you weight goal.

    I wish you all the look in the world. You will get some great advice from everyone here โ˜บ

  • Thank you I've actually started couch to 5k I'm on week three next week it's so hard but I'm trying my best - good luck to you too x

  • Well done for starting couch to 5k. I did a similar thing for race for life about 8 years ago and it really kick started my activity level. Although down the line I gave the carried on with that I do now walk whenever possible instead of taking the car and before getting a bad hip a couple of months ago made sure a did a walk, even just 10 minutes every day. It really is habit forming and helped me feel less guilty if I did have two biscuits instead of one! Keep up the good work and good luck

  • Hello

  • Anyone who is calling you names should be avoided if possible - they aren't being helpful! You have just taken a big step in deciding to grasp the bull by the horns, and I think that shows strength and bravery.

    Find one change you can make for a day, then who knows, it could become two days, or many more! When you have made that first achievement, let us know and we can congratulate you. You can do it!

  • It's strangers not anyone who is my friend thankfully :-)

    You're right I need to get on and do it not keep talking about it. Thank you for you're lovely message.

  • You know kittyKat77 my mum used to say to me when I came home in floods of tears having been called all sorts being the only black kid in the school (1960s), "sticks and stones may break my bones but words shall never hurt me". I used to think, well actually mum, you know nothing cause they do hurt me. But becoming a social worker and having yo deal with all types of pain that others were feeling I actually started to believe it. We are the ones who choose to allow words to penetrate and hurt. We choose to listen and take note, so just don't. Choose not to allow them to get to you. Stop going over and over the unkind words that people say. I have a little granddaughter who really thinks she is gorgeous. Every time I see her I ask how gorgeous are you today, and she says very gorgeous nanny. She believes it. Family say she is just like me (now). Words don't hurt me. I ask of and owe nothing. I am gorgious, and so are you. Believe it and so will others cause that's what you will portray. I'm very overweight, and black, nobody has ever said anything unkind to me in over 40 years now, since I started to believe in myself. That's the first step. Why should others love us if we can't love ourselves. Life is tough, all sorts of horrid things happen to us, but we have to move on from that and recover best we can, before it really is too late. Life is so short, don't waste it on negativity. Live the life your given to the full. Enjoy๐Ÿ˜˜

  • Beautiful reply Gorgeous SallyMJ โค๏ธ

  • Thank you x

  • What beautiful words thank you so much I'll take on board these kind words xxx

  • This great advice Lakeswimmer ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Take it one day at a time KittyKat77, for example try to eat three proper meals with less junk, then slowly reduce the junk and drink more water etc etc until you gain control and feel more positive ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Come on here and talk to us in your weaker moments.

    Then read all the fabulous success stories to inspire and motivate ๐Ÿ˜Š

    You can do this, you just need to find a way of eating that fits in with your lifestyle ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Very best wishes


  • Thank you xx

  • Hi and welcome! Come on, deep down, you know you can do it - one day at a time or one hour at a time - otherwise you wouldn't be on here. Look forward to reading about your progress! Onwards and downwards, as they all say. :)

  • Welcome! This is where you start!!! Good on you for starting from couch to 5k!! It's really hard. But slowly you will see changes. Like been able to run 2 min instead of barely running 1min! That is what inspires me to continue.

    Get rid of all the nasty food that you have at home. When you crave, drink a glass of water, tea, and have an apple. Or start doing something to occupy you. Go for a walk. Always have an apple or some nuts(weighed and counted!!!!) in your bag when you go out, just in case.

    You CAN do this!

  • Good morning

    1. You did very good thing joining this forum here every one is very motivating and very positive

    2. Don't worry for the one which is not there diabetics

    3. Create a strength saying I can do it I am sure you will do it

    4. Being overweight is not sin we want to be healthy so try including healthy eating habits

    All the best you will rock

    Regards jeya

  • Lovely response Jeyal ๐Ÿ˜Š

  • Thank you Anna

  • Hi Kittykat, How about doing it for "World Poverty"?

    Go to livebelowtheline.com and see what it's all about.

    I've had the same trouble as you in the past but found that being aware of the little amount some people have to live on gives me a kick start.

  • Hi KittyKat77 good morning and good luck with your journey, we do all seem to motivate each other on here and even when we have bad days we manage to keep each other positive it is the best thing I have ever done joining here, I always struggled with diets and am finally losing here. Hope all goes well for you and don't be afraid to post any questions or problems on here as you will get great help on here. All the best! ๐Ÿคž๐Ÿ˜€๐ŸŽ‰

  • have you try kick boxing classes if no that is a really good feel factor and burns the weight .

  • I have actually yes it's great fun too isn't it I think I will go bank to it again x

  • Maybe you need to forget about "Monday" - do it now. Even if you only eat three biscuits instead of four it's a start. Soon you'll think twice about eating biscuits at all and find yourself deliberately making better choices - and it really will make a difference.

    It's true what everyone says, you know, we are all lovely in our own ways. You might go online and see "beautiful" people and despair that you'll never look like that - but isn't it better to accept that fact and just be the best "you" that you can be? I've just come back from a holiday where I saw some utterly stunning women, slender, exquisitely-dressed - and every single one of them was totally self-obsessed and subsumed by their own appearance. You could see it in the unnatural way they held themselves, their body language, the fact that they were clearly not listening to anything anyone said to them because they were too busy considering their next Instagram post. I thought that was so sad.

    Looks really are not everything. By all means make "the best" of what you have but never despair because you're not blonde, size eight, long-legged or photogenic. So few of us are! It doesn't make you "disgusting", it makes you normal and genuine. Let the lovely person you surely are come through rather than worrying about the opinion of strangers, it's the only way to be truly happy - honest!

  • Thank you for you're kind words ill of courses take this on board I agree it's very sad people zone of out discussions when it's not about them don't they sad eh xx

  • Hello kittyKat77, I know how you are feeling. I've been 'dieting' for most of my life and am still trying to loose weight! I've come to the conclusion that diets don't work!

    I think small changes are best. Swapping 4 biscuits, say, for 2 biscuits and an apple for example and cake, perhaps limit cake to weekends? Work out a way that is doable for you. You know what I mean. I know it's easier said than done but one small change at a time........

    I find it difficult to keep up because my husband has his biscuits and sweets and I can't tell him he can't have them because I don't want them in the house! I'm like an eating machine in the evenings and end up 'helping' him eat them. Not only that but my mind is my enemy after a few days and I either get depressed and don't care about what I'm eating or I convince myself that I'm not that fat anyway, or too old that it doesn't matter.

    Anyway, I digress, forgive yourself and be kind to yourself and know that we are all the same in regards to the dieting thing. And as for anyone calling you names, they are just sad and ignorant. Feel sorry for them, they have the biggest problem of all.........

  • You're so right it's a vicious circle isn't it I get every word you're saying xxx

  • Chrysanthemum and KittyKat77 have a look at this it may help


  • Hi Kitty, oh hunny, you can do this, be positive and get that motivation and determination going, don't let the nasty remarks get you down, they probably miserable themselves and vent on others!!! I'm 44 now and after loosing weight a few years ago I was a different person, so much healthier and look lot younger too. I have gained some since due to divorce and moving areas but haven't let it beat me, I eat healthy and go gym, work and look after 2 girls too. You need to have the right mind set and do it for you. Set small goals which are acheivable and have a realistic weight/size goal, mine is to get back to a healthy 12, I'm inbetween a 12 and 14 at the moment. Take the support on here and if you fall just get back up and start again, I have had arthritis since my late 20s and suffered a lot with joint pains but since loosing the weight I don't feel the pain as I have so much energy now and you can be that person too. Good luck you will reach your goals soon . x

  • Thank you for the lovely note makes perfect sense xxx

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