AGAIN!!!!!!HELP ME!!!!

I am desparate to lose weight and I swear I am almost suicidal over this. It drags me to the doors of hell daily. I have not looked at ANY post I have put previously because I dont care. I am starting now. Do not know where to start???? Thought you lot of nice fatbusting folk could help me once again. i am 5ft 3inc and would like to loose 6 stone. I also have protruding discs in my back and limited to only walking until Speak with the specialist,


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14 Replies

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  • Hello,

    Welcome to the forum I am sure you will get the support you need from this forum.

    I suggest that if you are feeling suicidal then you need also to contact a professional to help you overcome those feelings. The Samaritans are available and will listen to your issues.

    First thing in losing weight is that we all expect the magic wand approach and think that we will be instantly slimmer after working hard for a few weeks. Thing is it took weeks, months and years of abusing our bodies to get us into this place. Some of us have medical issues that contribute too.

    It really is a one step at a time effort. I am sure that with the support you get from this forum you will achieve your desired goal.

    Positivity is a major part of this process, even if it feels like the walls are closing in we should still find something positive from every single day. I am positive you will succeed as you have taken the most difficult step already in opending up.

    Please post as often as you need. Tell us your good days, your bad ones, your successes and your failures as they are all a part of us and that is what makes us human. Believe me from everything that you post you will gain strength and the support to continue this life changing journey.

    Please keep in touch

    Best wishes


  • What a lovely well written reply.

    ollio I wish you all the luck in the world most of us have a little bit of an idea as to what your going through and as Janpes says we are all here to help you ❀

    There is a lot in life to enjoy and even a small walk outside fesh air beautiful spring flowers fresh food

    Keep strong x

  • lovely reply Janpes. ollio take notice of what she has said about looking for positive things each day, it really helps. It's all to do with mind set. Take the advice YellowRose55 has given you to start. The only think I would add is, if 6 stone seems daunting, break it down into smaller steps. I need to loose 5 stone and to make it manageable, I set my self small goals, so I started at 15 stone 11 1\2lbs, first goal to lose 7lbs, second goal to get to 15 stone, 3rd goal to then loose 3lbs to have lost a stone and the I will probably repeat that again. It is far less daunting for me that way and It might help you also.

    As kath50 says there is a lot of life out there, get out and enjoy it if you can, you are worth sooo much more than a number on the scales. NEVER let your weight define you.

    Post as often as you need to and wishing you the very best of luckπŸ’

  • Morning ollio

    Please don't think like that you are worth more than just a number on the scales and that's all it is a number on the scales. We can help support you with your weight loss but I would say please go and speak to your GP about the way you are feeling. There is lots of help out there and if you speak to your GP they can get the health team to help you stop feeling this way as we can only advise on weight loss.

    You ask "Where to Start?" this is what you can do:

    1, Speak to your GP to get support on how you are feeling, they can get the health team to support you.

    2, With your weight have a look at the nhs 12 week plan and start to follow it step by step, day by day and you will get there. But you have to give yourself time. Your weight did not go on over night and it is not going to come off over night so you need to allow yourself time.

    3, Be active on the forum, we are a very friendly bunch and can support you with your weight loss. We can help you with bad eating days because we have and still are having them.

    4, You say you don't care! You really need to care about yourself and it's a good place to start.

    YOU CAN DO THIS. I started here last June could not walk much and was 22st 2lbs, very over weight. I am now 17st 10lbs and walk a lot. So if I can do it why not give it a go.


  • Thank you

  • Hi Ollio and welcome to this friendly forum where you will receive advice and support only no judgemental comments at all.

    Everyone has given you such good advice already take comfort from that we are ll here for the same reason.

    Feeling suicidal and being depressed are quite different if it's the former you feel you really need to speak to a doctor please asap.

    Depression is something lots of us on here can feel at times sometimes just weight related sometimes outside pressures cause this but I can only say from my own experience please read on.

    Last year May 19th after 4 years of family loss and basically having to give up my job, mum with Alzheimer's, husband being diagnosed with MS I hit rock bottom never been there like that before never want to again my weight had ballooned from 14st to 17.1st and how I hated myself, worthless that's how I saw myself, what's the point in life, no one wants me anymore and I sank into depression.

    But..... On that day sitting in bed looking for something God knows what I found this forum just like you have and have never looked back. The welcome, support and advice lovely people on here give is priceless. Now nearly 4st lighter, yes I still have quite a way to go as I am 5'3" also, I feel I can do this, I am worth it, don't get me wrong I still have really bad days not over eating but feeling down yesterday was one of them but going on here and a lovely PM from Lucigret helped me along thank you for that Luci.

    You have made a brilliant start, you are worth such a lot, take time to help yourself and we will help you too, together we can do anything especially loose the weight, start today using the advice others have given you, if you don't want to weigh in yet don't I didn't for 4 weeks till I felt confident enough to do so. Tomorrow, the next day, the next week, the next month you will be lighter and lighter. Help us to help you by being active on the forum, take advice, think of you being in control of you.

    Good luck, shout out if you need help and lastly if you really do feel suicidal see your GP that comes first before any weigh loss journey.

    Take care let us know how you get on we are here to help each other, one big family.πŸ‘«πŸ‘­πŸ‘¬πŸ’‘ Bev❀

  • Welcome ollio ! Good advice from everyone so far, as is the norm on this forum :) ! We care about you, so first place to start on your journey is by you caring about yourself and build from there.

    I started my new healthy lifestyle at the beginning of January. I was 15:4 and am now 13:12. I don't use the words diet, or loss, because to me those are negative words and I have a positive outlook on my future. I too have back issues, but started C25K running program at the same time and graduated in the last couple of weeks. I can now run for over an hour. See what your Doc says, it might be something you could look at. Also, there are Pilates and Yoga videos on the NHS Choices website which are for back pain, osteoarthritis and other conditions. That may be also something worth considering.

    Have a good look around this forum. You are most certainly not alone. We want to help you, hear from you, and celebrate your new life with you. Keep reading and posting and we'll get there together. 'When the going gets tough, keep going!...xx

  • Hello ollio I'm so sorry​ to hear you feel so low but don't lose heart you are amongst friends here

    I've just lost 1st 5lbs and I can't exercise at all at the moment

    I wrote down all the horrible things about being overweight and all the lovely things and how I would feel losing it I also found a photo that I felt really upset me looking at It made me vow to lose it

    Count calories don't give up your favourite things altogether as you will crave it I find a cup of Options satisfies my chocolate craving and I allow myself 1 Jaffa cake with my afternoon cuppa

    Fill up on veg with your dinner and cut out the spuds or chips Green tea is great to fill you up and stop hunger

    You will soon look at things and think that's so unhealthy and you won't want it

    Keep posting you will get loads of support and tips on here

    We can't have you at the doors of hell anymore

    Good luck xx

  • Hi Ollio, noneed to feel/think desperate anymore, its tough to beat, but this is the best way, texting helps to get it out of the system, but understanding takes longer, and re-reading your old texts will not help either, because, maybe, in a way you have moved on. Good luck on continuing your 12 week planned journey of eating well for you to feel healthier and complete, at you own pace, and exercise when you are ready, I have just startedweek 1 of couch to 5K, walk 1min, run 90 secs, alternately for 20 mins x 3 a week. :)

  • Hi ollio and welcome.

    That was the red carpet of advice. One of the best things you can do is read them over and over, until you've absorbed all that wisdom.

    Wishing you all the best!

  • Hi.

    I certainly understand your feeling of desperation and like nothing will work.

    Personally I think exercise comes later. Weight loss is 80/20 - 80% diet, 20% exercise.

    I have failed so many times, quite often because I would give up exercising, feel bad, eat something to feel better and then I was in old routines again.

    I would sacrifice my 80% diet for my 20% exercise.

    I decided this time around to ignore exercise for the time being and focus all my attention on diet and it seems to be working.

    I know this is not the traditional perspective but I noticed I always seem to come unstuck over feeling like I was failing for not exercising enough as opposed to my diet failing.


    Many is the night I would sit in front of the TV and eat. Boredom is my worst enemy for dieting so I made a list of life stuff like sorting out my super funds, getting my PC backed up, cleaning the bathroom, hanging that picture, ringing one person a week, getting the best deal I could find for health insurance....

    I had heaps of "life stuff" to do that I was ignoring to instead eat and watch TV.

    Meditate. I put my ear buds in, play Tibetan Singing Bowls and spend 20 mins trying to still my mind and think of nothing. I don't get over wrought when thoughts keep coming I just gently push them away and focus on the sounds of the "music".

    I hope some of these help :)

  • Thanks for that , most helpfull.

  • Hi

    First and foremost you need to deal with your depression. There is not a one size fits all solution but your GP is your first port of call. You may need a combination of medication and talking therapies but don't suffer alone. It might be possible to get some support with exercise as it can in itself help lift your mood.

    Regarding weight loss I recommend a book called Overcoming Weight Problems which is not a diet book but is written by a Cognitive Behaviour psychologist and dietician. I read and re-read this book to understand my relationship with food. I have used it to produce my own healthy lifestyle plan and use the tools to keep me on track. There is lots of conflicting and at times confusing advice out there but basically we need to eat less and move more. It is important to eat enough and nutritious food. Be prepared for the long haul. Slow and steady.

    I have lost 26 lbs in 12 weeks by keeping a food diary, counting the calories and increasing my walking. Currently I am on 1400 calories a day but as I have been losing weight I am also gradually reducing the calories using the NHS BMI calculator as my guide.

    Take care, you are worth it. Daisy

  • When I started on my weight loss quest, I looked at it as going on an adventure with a reward at the end, I am having fun I experiment with food different recipe and combinations. 2 things that would possibly help would be putting your food on a smaller plate and cutting out snacking. Ii still snack but I have changed what I snack with.

    Reading what folks have to say on this site helps because their are a lot of inspirational post

    Good luck on your adventure

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