Eating disorder 1 - me, barely registering

Can't write too much as just too deflated. Monster is currently trampling over me again. Trying to use my CBT skills to overcome it but it's hard beyond... At 51 to still have the same problems with food, still be battling, on and on and on....... getting help via NHS is not easy.... gp just says "lose weight or else" ...... makes me panic and I feel mis-understood...... I have tried, for years and years; I have diaries and online diaries, to prove it ........... so low......


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29 Replies

  • Hi Trierisme,

    I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time at the moment and wish that I could offer some personal experience that would help you, Unfortunately, I can't and I'm also not medically qualified to offer any advice either. Pretty useless, in actual fact, but I do sympathise and want to support you.

    There are several communities on Health Unlocked, that offer assistance for people suffering from eating disorders and I hope that you'll be able to turn to them for help.

    I sincerely hope that they'll be more useful to you, than I've been!

    Wishing you all the very best :)

  • Hi Trierisme.

    moreless has summed up everything succinctly and I hope you find some help from her advice.

    Well done for posting your feelings and I hope it goes at least a little way to relieving your anxiety. I wish I had something magical or witty to add that could help you but I do sincerely wish you all the best.

  • I am very sorry you are feeling so distressed Trierisme

    This is not something I can help directly with, but I would suggest having a chat with people you know in your area to see if there is a GP at your surgery that people find good to talk to, and book an appointment with that GP. Sit yourself down, and write a list to take with you of how you feel, what you do, what effect it is having on you, and how you would like to change, but are struggling, so you can take that with you and make sure you cover everything.

    Let us know how you are in the meantime though - we will support you where we can.

  • Poor you, that sounds awful. Sending a ((((hug))))

  • Thank you everyone , your responses and offer of support made me cry ..... xxx

  • Oh dear, I'm sure none of us wanted to reduce you to tears, but we're all here for you and sending you virtual ((((((HUGS)))))) :)

  • Ahh moreless... ❤️ they were tears because I felt overwhelmed with people's genuine kindness so not bad tears. .... I feel as though I'm sinking, I've been here before you'd think it would help, but no.

  • Sadly, Trierisme, we are all struggling with old demons, but we have to live with the hope that as time goes on, we'll learn new coping techniques and be able to move forward with confidence.

    We're here for you whenever you need us and with hugs aplently :)

  • I have needed a bit of propping up from time to time - we all do, I think, if we are honest, and have found people here very kind. So, as I hand over a virtual tissue or two, I will mention that at some point in the future, you will probably be doing the same for me, or someone else.

    I hope you have found one of the links useful, or have been encouraged in some other way to try to work through things somehow.

  • Hello @Trierisme, I can't add much more to what everybody else has said, I agree with @Missis B, try and find a different Doctor to go to, write everything down, how you feel, what you have tried to do to help yourself, I personally would give it to the Doctor to read at the appointment and I would say in it that you feel mis-understood, you don't need to be told to loose weight, you are already trying to do that. I did exactly this to a Doctor two years ago, after feeling so ill for 3 years and going back and forth for tests with no answer and being told "Doctor's don't have magic wands you know", I collapsed in town, I wrote everything down and took my husband with me, I was then diagnosed with extremely low Vitamin D! The Doctor who saw me, told me the best thing I could have done was given her my letter as at the time I was getting so emotional I couldn't remember everything I had to say. Give it a go, take somebody with you to support you, if you have somebody.

    Your post has tugged at my heart strings, I wish I could be of more help. Let us know how you get on. sending (((hugs)))

  • Fantastic support, as always, lucigret we often can't think properly when our emotions are messing us up. Trierisme I have no personal experience of your anguish, i just know that people on this forum will be willing you to feel better and urging you towards your goal.

    Take care of yourself, it is so important.

  • You are so kind Lucigret. I have done what you said & wrote all down for the Dr. I have in the past went in not saying anything to do with what my issues were. I hope I Trierisme gets better soon & support. George 56

  • Thank you Ceals and George56, just here to support like you two do as well x

  • So sorry can feel your pain I know there are forums for eating disorders but we will always support you on here too Sending you a huge hug 💕

  • Thank you ........ ❤️

  • Hi Trierisme - I just wanted to wish you well - because you're struggling a bit at the moment, and I really hope that you are able to get the support you need at this time. I can see you've had some excellent suggestions - and it's good that you came to talk about things here in the forum. I really hope that you're having a reasonable evening, and I just wanted to say that you have supportive pals in this forum who care about you.

    Big hugs and wishing you well.

    Zest :-) xx

  • Thinking of you Trierisme 😊

  • Hi Trierisme

    Don't despair, work with us, you feel supported here and there's always a kind word to lift your mood.

    I do know how you feel, I have also been there, still am, to be honest. Doctors don't realise if we could just flick a switch and diet we would.

    Mindset is a funny thing, it is, however, one that is either a help or a hindrance, you can do it, believe in you, that's what I'm trying to do, small steps.

  • 'Work with us' .... that sounds good, I wish I could transport you all here right now . I feel as though I'm sinking in quick sand. I'm hiding how I'm really feeling from my family. I'm just sooooooo tired of myself...... thank you for being so kind, well, all of you on here who've posted.

  • You can do it, lots of support on here for you, lots of great people here to help you along. ☺

  • If you need to chat, always happy to listen, feel free to message. I know what you mean about keeping it from family and friends, it's hard, you can do it, do it for you, that's what I'm doing, my family don't know I have joined here, I am waiting to see if they, notice take good care, keep going.

  • I understand you keeping how you feel from your family, but looking in from the outside, I am also aware of how bad this can be for you, as it suggests you are not able to talk to anyone. Please do try to find enough strength to go somewhere that will listen and help you. I was wondering if you could contact BEAT? This may not be appropriate or relevant to where you are now, but I thought I would suggest it in case it is something that might help.

    As we've said before, we are here for you, offering whatever comfort we can.

  • Hi Trierisme I'm new to this group forum. I hope you are feeling better today. I wish you luck & hope you get the best support. Kind regards from George 56

  • Hello everyone..... feeling fragile but a little better...... Lucigret I want to thank you for the excellent idea of writing a letter of sorts and giving it to the doctor to read ( next appointment 2 weeks away ) I'm also going to take my paper and online weight/health diaries with me to endeavour to show that I'm not looking for someone to 'do the work for me' just help ! Letter is ( I'm going back to it now and then to edit it ) incredibly difficult to write..... I sound emotional and desperate, which I am, but writing it down for someone else to see is ......... like standing in front of him naked ..... I come back and read the latest kind posts, I feel I've got friends ..... I feel supported, even though it's through a computer.... thank you ❤️

  • Morning Trierisme, what a great name for you, it's just clicked! I'm very happy that my idea of writing a letter may be of help to you. I'm sure it is incredibly difficult to write. The fact that you sound emotional and desperate means that you are being totally honest in the letter and I would add the bit about how uncomfortable it is making you feel to do it, I would also say that you are not expecting someone "to do the work for me" but you need help to achieve your goals. You are being very brave and I sincerely hope that you get the help you so deserve. I found something under the TOPICS, to the right hand side of the page if your on a computer, or at the bottom, I think, if you are on a mobile. USEFUL RESOURCES - 3rd one down I think, its a post with a support phone number that may be useful to you - B-EAT, take a look and see what you think.

    Just remember, you are among friends here, even if we are all just 'virtual' friends, we are real people who care and offer support, this forum is a great place for that and if that is working for you then keep on posting and let us know how you are getting on. I am going to follow you so that I can see how you do. sending you ((((hugs)))) and 💐 Have just noticed that MissisB has already sent you the B-eat info. Reading back on the messages above you have some lovely people supporting you.

  • Honestly Lucigret, I've almost wanted to hug the posts to me..... I have had a quick look at B-eat...... I'm planning on having an in depth look this weekend....... who'd have thought online friends would give genuine support, encouragement and kindness ...... I'm sure at some point I'll be passing that on to someone else who needs it ..... I'll stay in touch .... xxx

  • ok that's brought tears to my eyes Trierisme 😢 so glad you are going to take time to read up at the weekend. I'm beginning to think online friends are in fact more supportive, they don't judge you:)

  • As it is now three days since you posted the above, Trierisme , you may already be feeling a little less blue - I do hope so. There was some wonderful advice from others so I will just add that I think the fact that you are active in this forum is great, as it is so friendly and supportive. I hadn't heard of Beat before, but that sounds a really good idea - I hope you can follow that up. Thinking of you....

  • I once had a dream that I was looking at some clothes and this man came up to me and said "there's no point, you're just too fat!" Well I'd had a bit of therapy by then and I turned to him in the dream and said "Just F**K OFF!" Really loudly. And he did. He ran out of the shop and literally (well not literally, it was a dream) jumped in a lake and drowned. After that, when I started to hear this negativity in my waking life I would yell at it. In the end, it stopped bothering me. I don't know if this story is helpful but you mentioning The Monster reminded me of it. He can jump in a lake too because he's a worthless toerag.

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