Ahhh dear me!
I've been so naughty today and there is no way I'm getting to my target by next weigh in! I've been getting huge cravings today and I gave in. I made toast and ate it (4 slices) and then I had two packs of crisps and then one of those Mr Kipling apple and blackcurrant cakes! OMG! Like I'm not even attempting to count the calories. I know, huge binge or what!
What is slightly puzzling I guess is that I don't care too much...I'm getting really fed up of counting calories all the time and getting into the 9 stones seem insanely difficult and I don't think I will ever get there (especially if I continue to binge eat like today)! I work hard and watch what I eat most of the time and it's just too much some times; so yes, today I cracked.
I'm thinking I might just have to learn to be happy being in the 10 stones...I'm now a size 12 (that's a huge drop from size 20/22 which is the size I was when I started) and no, not yet in a healthy BMI. I'm wondering what will happen if I refuse to count calories anymore and just eat what I want (bear in mind I'm vegan anyway and I do enjoy eating fruit and veg) so I don't think I'll ever get as big as I was again but I feel I can't stop till I have reached a healthy BMI...well you know what? Part of me thinks that even if I get there I will not stay there...so why bother?
I can't apologise for being all depressed because if I'm being honest I don't feel depressed...I know I binged and I enjoyed it. With that in mind I guess I should apologise for the rebellious post? Anyone else ever got like this or did they clear off when they came to this conclusion? I'm not sure what I want anymore! If I stop trying to lose weight and just enjoy food again without constantly worrying how many calories/fat/sugar etc is in it can I still post here? I feel I'm a bit in limbo...