Newbie trying to lose weight whilst suffering from depression

I am on the fifth day of cutting back, and desperately need to lose about two stone. Things that could derail me are: depression (which I think in part is caused by my excess weight), a food loving and excellent cook of a husband who is sceptical about all methods of weight loss and a very busy job which means I can't get to exercise classes. I get very grumpy when I'm hungry too! Definitely need lots of moral support, I fear my depression will cause me to give up. I have had years of therapy and medication but have now stopped all of it to try and sort myself out.

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28 Replies

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  • hi. what type of diet are you following ? are you following the nhs 12 week plan.

    also if you are trying to cut out everything you enjoy all at worse it can make it very hard to sticky to and make you grumpy.

    Exercise wise... i know you dont have time to go to the gym ... so how about when you get home... get some music on a dance around the house.. it may sound a bit daft but your moving and I always think a dance makes you feel good ! I didn't have time last night to go to the gym so me and the kids danced instead. they loved it and I got to spend time with them and do exercise at the same time !

    Good luck x

  • Thank you for your commentary! I only signed up a couple of days ago and haven't got my head round the site yet. I am anxious because I know that the 12 week diet needs calorie counting and my husband isn't prepared to weigh and count everything. So I have been trying eating only my three meals with smaller portions and snacking on fruit and nuts- I have cut out biscuits and processed food and alcohol. I do a yoga DVD most days (only 20 minutes) and try to go swimming once a week. Because of my job, husband is always in charge of dinner because as well as some hours during the day I work from 3.30 to 8 pm every evening! He has been instructed to halve the amount of olive oil he uses, and he is trying .... But..... I'm not in control.

  • Well i think just cutting out sugar & processed food will make a big difference anyway without calorie counting!

  • Read my reply - thank you for your commentary?!?! I meant comments! Autocorrect...!

  • Hi, sounds like you are on the right track :)

  • Hi and welcome Mazroz

    The forum members here are really supportive I know what you mean about having a fantastic cook for a husband. Have a good read and look at the NHS 12 week plan nhs.uk/Tools/Documents/WEIG...

    and the Healthy eating nhs.uk/livewell/healthy-eat... and then try and encourage him to be involved in your plan :)

    Take a look at the Pinned Posts section, to the right of your screen (bottom, if you're using a mobile) and have a look at the Welcome Newbies thread.

    Look at the Topics section beneath that, for posts that could answer any questions you may have. Consider joining any, or all, of our challenges, as they're fun and motivating.

    Join us for one of the Group weigh-in. The latest weigh-in thread can always be found in the Events section, to the right (bottom) of the home page.

    Be active on the forum, as that's where we exchange ideas and get our daily dose of motivation and inspiration and don't be afraid to ask for assistance, if you need it

    Wishing you all the best as you start on your journey to health and happiness

    :)

  • Thank you for your support! I am just trying to digest (!) all the information available and find my way round the site so will certainly by encouraging hubs to look at it too once I know what will be useful for him as chief cook. I'm hopeful! 🙂

  • Hi Mazroz Sorry to hear you are having a tough time of things. If you are new to the site check our the newbie pinned link (to the right or at the bottom of this page). Lots of people on here are following the NHS 12 week plan which isn't a diet as such, more of a lifestyle change. Maybe that would be a good starting place. It also gives advice on exercise options and how to fit it in around jobs, children, etc. Re. The depression- I appreciate you want to sort yourself out but if you do need the support its no bad thing to have help of some sort. This forum is lovely and supportive but if you need professional help then don't feel you have to go it alone. I also used to get grumpy and hungry (still do sometimes !). It might be worth seeing a nutritionist as I was diagnosed with candida overgrowth - side effects, weight gain, feeling down, tiredness and hunger to name a few. A good supplement programme helped as well. Sorry for the long post but hopefully this gives you some options and starting points. Welcome to the site and good luck.

  • Many thanks for replying. I have been off my meds for 8 months and have loved being pill free, but not loved the dark depression! However I am still hopeful that I can pull through without chemicals and yet more poking about in my miserable past! So if I can, I am going to tackle my weight in the hope that having control over that will help to improve my mental health and contribute towards a pill free happy life. Who knows ...? I do still see my GP from time to time, and a good homeopathic friend of mine too. Sorry about self indulgent long reply! 😕

  • Well you certainly have a positive mind set! Really well done, you are well on the way. 8 months is a fantastic achievement. Keep going and keep popping on here as it is fab for morale and motivation.

  • Hi again

    Like you I'm also pill free and have been for years so it isn't always easy but it is possible. There are foods which can help depression such as banana and pulses. I use aromatherapy and herbal teas which help with stress, anxiety and sleeping. I think you're doing really well to come off the pills but remember they are an option if you really need them. I've found CBT really useful and support groups.

  • Hello Mazroz

    Welcome to the forum. As well as the information others have given above I would suggest joining us on the Happiness Challenge because I think it is the perfect place for you. Through a few daily exercises you will learn to shift your mind's focus from the negative to the positive and if followed vigilantly you will naturally leave the depression behind. Here is the original post for the current challenge that explains it all: healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... and if you would like to join in, please post here: healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

    All the best :)

  • Thanks for your input! I will definitely have a look at those links. 🙂

  • You should

    I joined Tanjas challenge after piling on pounds and losing my mum last year I went to see my GP feeling pretty low he gave me details of cruise bereavement counciling yet I also knew I needed to get the pounds of and so logged back on here too and 3 months later I feel so much brighter A weightloss No pills either and I never phoned Cruise I found happiness and possitivity within me.

  • Hi like you I have depression and borderline personality disorder so I empathise with you. I'm also trying to lose weight have another 2 stone to lose. I've lost just over 22 lbs since last October it's been hard at times but now I feel better about myself. Plus I can't exercise due to disability. Winter is always a bad time if you have depression but try not to lose momentum because it'll hopefully get easier in time. Even if you do fall off the wagon it's not the end of the world just keep on trying. I wish you well on your journey. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

    Patsy

  • Yes depression is hard to over come. I find the GP's are very unhelpful and unsympathetic. They won't give diazepam out as they say you get addicted. Talk it out they say well that doesn't work they are just trying to save money but making folk worse. It isn't good they give you medication that puts on weight too which makes you more depressed. They don't really help you.

  • I have obviously been very lucky with my GP who has been really supportive. The worst thing is the waiting list for therapy - sometimes up to 4 months which is appalling, but resources are so stretched here. I hoped I'd lose weight when I came off my pills but I didn't! I hope you are finding your own path through your depression.

  • Yes sounds lije your GP is not too bad. My point is waiting 4 months for councilling is totally unacceptable and not giving diazepam or sleeping pills is outrageous. Woukd they leave soneonecwith a brojen keg 4 weeks without treatment?

  • A broken leg can be seen, in many cases mental health cannot be seen - the suffering goes on behind a mask of 'coping'. The ironic thing is that the NHS would save so much money and resources if they could treat mental health efficiently.... there's a need to see the long term gain for short term financial pain. Anyway, at least we are here doing what we can to help ourselves! Keep strong!

  • You are absolutely right there my friend. More money goes into physical health than mental health which is scandalous. They are cutting mental health bill all the time. DOW actually force fatally ill folk back to work or those with chronic mental health needs but WHO the hec will employ them? ?

    It is cruelty and now the GP says no medication just talk It out in the next 4 months! They give you leaflets in how to manage anxiety when obviously you can't otherwise you would. It all needs overhauling before too many die at the hands of this dreadful biased system.

  • Hi I can see you have had so much advice upto now all I can add is throughout my depressive moods and there has been a lot of them until last year when I started my weight loss journey, I have found that music helps me greatly, just shutting myself away for 5 mins and putting on an upbeat tune to two usually lifts my mood no end.

    Unlike lots of people I have never took medication but tried many different strategies to lift moods but for me music works the best.

    Until I gave myself a good talking to and stopped blaming life's events for my comfort eating and took control of my weight and accepted that the only person who could do this was me I could never stick to a diet etc.

    You are in charge of you. You are in charge of your foods and weight and you can change whatever you want. Talk to your family tell them how they can help you, don't think you can never have those little treats again you can just add them into your allowance.

    Good luck if you need someone to talk to or won't advice there are so many lovely people who will give you encouragement and support.

    This could be your year for change if you want it to be and together we help each other to reach our goals.😊👍

  • This time you will succeed, this time you will make lasting changes that will help you physically and mentally. The first step is self belief. I believe you have posted this because you want to succeed in your weight loss. You have to believe that too.

    Good luck to you and keep posting in moments of weakness, we are all here to help x

  • Hi Mazroz,

    Reading your post sounded like me. I too suffer with depression and since being on medication I have put on 3 stone mainly due to my comfort eating, lack of motivation to do anything exercise related apart from swimming. I can understand how difficult it is because I still have difficult days, a very stressful and busy job and I never put my needs first and grab junk food because I'm too exhausted.

    I'm starting Weightwatchers on Wednesday as I've been given vouchers from my GP, maybe we could support each other and be diet partners?

    Good luck xx

  • I would really like that. I feel like I have a mountain to climb ahead of me, and there's the sense that I am really pushing myself too hard by trying to lose weight alongside the terrible feelings of depression, but it's a chicken and egg thing, isn't it? Am I depressed because I'm overweight, or am I overweight because I'm depressed? Will I feel better if (NO when) I'm slim, or will I still be struggling? And dealing with the need to cut back on the food and being hungry (I have never been on a diet where I don't feel deprived!). Even if you are a happy, stable person, it's depressing to be hungry and not eating/drinking what you like! I am now on my sixth day, and I'm trying to maintain the mindset that I am getting through a dry January thing - give it until end January. Then I might feel better. I have done Weight Watchers in the past, and have found it very successful. I would do it again, but my husband (who does all the cooking) doesn't like doing the points thing. Time restrictions mean I can't do the meals myself, so I'm trying portion control, no processed food, reducing sugar, carbs and no alcohol. Quite radical, but as I say, I'm going to see January out! Good luck on Wednesday; the WW group I went to was very friendly and supportive. The second time I did it (yes, I put the weight back on and had to do it again!) I did it online, and it worked just as well, but that was a while ago. Sorry if I've gone on a bit. I don't like to keep moaning to my hubs, and I think I've enjoyed offloading!

  • No worries,I also hate moaning at my hubby, it's good to talk to someone who gets it. Depression has really affected my weight loss goals I don't know how many times I have joined an cancelled various diets, classes etc it is also my second major go at Weightwatchers lost 3.5 stone the first time, kept it off for 10 years put it back on when I became unwell. Keep in touch and let us know if you get on xx

  • Hello Mazroz I am so glad for your posts and the replies. This really shows that nobody is an island. In a great forum you are never alone. Depression and overweight feed one another. It helps to know that I can beat this and you will too. I made one change at a time and that made it more attainable for me. All the best K

  • I have struggled with depression and have been a yo-yo dieter for most of my life I have done all sorts of diets with great success but always put on more weight than I lost. I have had weight loss surgery and lost the weight I had to but even then I wasn't happy. I was still classed as obese using bmi but my surgeon told me to lose any more weight would be dangerous. Consequently I have now put on one and a half stone and and distinctly unhappy and depressed. I hold the key to my own happiness so I hope that with the aid of this site I can use the positive energy to help me. Size weight and looks are superficial true happiness comes from loving yourself and your imperfections. The road will be hard but hopefully we can tread it together

  • Hello,,, depression...is so bloody lonely and dark...I feel the same...where abouts are u..I will help u ...x

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