Starting again gets harder every time

I am 5ft 6 and 21 stone it feels pretty bad to write that down. I want to make better choices without that fear of missing out that I get when I try and be more healthy. I start looking at other people eating chocolate and crisps and feel like they are enjoying themselves more than me and wouldn't it be more fun to have a biscuit. I'm trying to focus on how good it feels to be slimmer because I've done it before and I have a new job now where my colleagues are all reasonably health conscious so aren't having unhealthy snacks during the day.

I also have an obsessive personality and when I start thinking about a healthier lifestyle I overthink everything and get truely obsessed to the point that it becomes unsustainable and I crash and then it's not just a blip it's a tremendous fall into unhealthy habits that make becoming healthier seem like a huge task again. Then it feels like the whole thing is pointless because I'm sure I'll fail again.

Trying to take one day at a time. Trying to find ways of 'treating' myself that isn't food. Trying to enjoy forms of excercise. Trying to incorporate that exercise as seemlessly as possible into my life.


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11 Replies

  • Hey, I've had a pretty bad shock stepping on the scales for the first time in years. I think you are right, I think it is so easy to get obsessed with food and what you can't eat.

    I've decided on a new approach this time, thinking about all the lovely food I can eat. I'm also giving the 16:8 diet a try, but instead of eating 'normally' within the eight hours, I'm trying to stick to proteins and veg. But at the same time making surevi don't go hungry within the 8 hours you're allowed to eat in. I haven't tried this approach before, but as everything else doesn't seem to work for me I recon why not give it a go. I must stress I am not a health professional, and you mustn't try anything that is too extreme for your personal health, good luck with your journey 😀

  • Thank you very much. I do think at this weight i need to consult a dr before trying anything other than cutting down and doing healthy swaps. I've had a look at the 16:8, it is very interesting as I have always believed breakfast was so very important and sometimes I even force myself to have it just because of this. I think I could probably even keep "breakfast" if i have it late enough in the morning. Something to think about. Good luck and all the best :)

  • hi.. When I lost my 1st 7lbs I booked myself into for a pedicure as a treat for just me.... for my next 7lbs I'm going to have my nails done... it makes you feel good about yourself to be pampered... I've set myself a treat for every 7lbs lost which will hopefully mean 1 treat a month to look forward too !

  • That's a good idea, I don't know why ive got a food treat mentality maybe it was my parents telling me i could have chocolate for a "treat" (I don't blame them at all but it could be where it comes from)

    I wish you many many treats this year :)

    Thank you

  • I was the same as you ..I would reward myself with a Chinese & a wine for being good all week !! crazy isn't it.

    This 7lb goal each month keeps it achievable and therefore is keeping me motivated so I get my treat each month.

  • Hello ClubW ☺ Welcome to the Weight Loss Forum ☺ Have a good look around the site and ask if you have any questions, we are very friendly group ☺ Things are a little up in the air at the moment with a change of Admin happening so please bear with us ☺

    You have some good plans in place there, small steps and small targets ☺ I am also a little obsessive and read everything I can about weight loss and healthier ways of living. There are lots of resources on here so have a good look around ☺

    Good luck and best wishes


  • Thanks Anna

  • I've lost weight in the past and I relied on exercise as much as counting calories. I found it best to set a goal of losing 7lb - concentrating on the final target can be daunting. I awarded myself £10 for each pound I lost, money that could be spent on any kind of treat as long as it wasn't food.

    Unfortunately the weight has piled back on due to poor eating habits and lack of exercise. Being disabled doesn't help! :-(

  • Hi Cheerful dragon! I think after my shock new year weigh in that I will stay away from the scales for a bit but trying to rethink treats away from food is something i will really try. My mother has MS and she can manage swimming sometimes. A can of beans is a good weight to start lifting at home when you are seated. There seems to be plenty of advice on here so i hope you find something you can enjoy doing.

    Good luck, all the best :)

  • Hi ClubW and welcome. Do not be disheartened and think you have a mountain of weight to lose and it seems impossbile. There are plenty of people on this forum who have had a lot of weight to lose and have managed it.

    I think the key to success is to do it in small, manageable steps.

    If you put your stats into the NHS BMI calculator, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at how many calories you can eat and still lose weight. The great thing about calorie counting as opposed to banning certain foods, is that you can in theory eat what you want, providing you stay within your daily allowance.

    I would also suggest downloading a weightloss app too, so you can plan and track your meals and snacks.

    Lastly take a look at the Wecome Newbies post in the pinned posts section - lots of useful info there.

    Good luck 🍀

  • Hi ClubW :-)

    It seems like you are very aware of how your thought patterns trip up your progress, and that's a kind of wisdom that you can keep in mind to help you. Sometimes it's as if there are different people inside us who want different things, and it can be quite a battle working out which side to follow! Or we get into that 'all or nothing' mode, and beat ourselves up when we 'fail'!

    Have you found out your calorie allowance, which is related to your BMI? If you use the NHS calculator, it shows you an upper and lower limit of calories tailored to your BMI stats. So, for weight loss you should aim for the middle to lower end of your allowance. You might be pleasantly surprised at how many calories you can have each day and still lose weight.

    Here is a link to the calculator:

    It is possible to include treats like the occasional biscuit or two, or a chocolate bar and still lose weight, just factor it into your allowances. :-)

    Good luck! :-)

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