Husband keeps pushing me

Every week when we go shopping my husband buys treats and places them near me in the front room so I can see them out the corner of my eye when sitting on the sofa as we don't have much room in the kitchen. I have moved them and asked him to put them elsewhere but they still always end up back there. I haven't been too bad and only tend to touch them when I haven't had enough calories for the day and have them as a pudding as I don't always manage to eat enough calories. I do still find it hard though. I know he loves treats and can't stop eating them but he gains no weight ever.

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32 Replies

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  • This sounds rather cruel. Maybe time to have a word with him over it. You need his support not a sabotage. I've know people tell the OH "nothing nice n the house" all you want is nothing nice in your eye line. Surely he can help with that x x x good luck

  • You need to be Hubbysmisstiger not Hubbysmissmouse. Tell Hubby you need his support. Tell him it's not kind or funny to leave temptation in your way. Tell him you will end up Hubbysmisselephant if he doesn't, and although he can eat what he likes now, if he isn't careful, he will end up Wifeysmrelephant!

  • Love this reply 😊😊😊

  • Me too πŸ€ 🐘

  • If my partner did this to me after I'd told him how hard I'd find them, his treats would end up in the bin! can you just keep moving them to a different place every time they reappear? more work for u but eventually it might jog that you are serious. will he respond to a serious chat? hardly what you need when trying to lose weight, least of all at this time of year!

  • Thanks for your comments, I will try having a serious talk with him this evening although I do think he is trying to test me to see if he knows I am serious. A family member said to me earlier when I spoke to her u really are serious about this aren't you. We didn't think you was when you started this. You have never finished any of the others that you have done. I explained that this was only because none of them even worked and this one is and I am finally getting somewhere.

  • Good luck 😊 I'm sure if he realises how serious you are he will be supportive, it really does make a massive difference 😊

  • It sounds like you need to sit down and talk to all your family, and tell them you are indeed very serious and that you need their support. You don't need testing, you need encouragement, love and kindness. Ask for their help in sticking to it. You might find it helpful to join Slimming World or Weight Watchers, because you will get lots of support and encouragement from a weight loss group of people (usually mostly women) who are in the same boat as you and know what you are going through and what you want to achieve. Don't let anyone in your family sabotage your efforts. Keep reminding yourself you are worth it. Good luck. X

  • PS I didn't mean you should leave this group, but in a real live group, you get real, live support and a hug when you need one! X

  • I would say that you need to sit him down and explain to him that you're serious about losing weight! If he wants his treats he can put them elsewhere in the house, out of your eyeline, I'm sure!

    Rob :P

  • I'm sure that part of the reason he does it is down to his own insecurities, but you need to explain that your desire to lose weight is something that's important to you, whilst also assuring him that your relationship isn't necessarily going to change.

    Furthermore, if your husband needs to lose a few pounds, suggest that it's a challenge you can both face together.

  • I know someone just like that! I deal with it by telling my husband I sympathise with his lack of self control and offer to help him eat healthier. He is so annoyed that I think he has no self control that he is currently trying to prove he can go without his sweet treats by cutting them out. Game to me I think.

  • Lol 😊 Like it 😊😊😊

  • Love itπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

  • That does sound like a good idea and one that could be great for us to try. Hopefully that could work. I could say something that he must prove to me that he has self control so that I know that he isn't likely to cheat on me in the future or something similar.

  • He sounds non supportive to you HubbysMissMouse If he was loving and supportive he would help you become the best version of yourself

  • I can say that he is the most supportive husband I could have because of the troubles I have in general with my epilepsy that is uncontrolled and he does all the cooking and making of tea because I have had a seizure whilst making tea and poured the water over my hand instead of into the cups. I have various (11-20) seizures every month. He handles it great.

  • He sounds lovely 😊❀️😊 And I'm sure he will understand about the treats 😊

  • Well then he should be supportive with this issue then

  • As supportive as he may be in relation to your condition, upon the assumption that you're under the care of a specialist, on the next occasion you meet, ask whether a diet that's higher in sugar is likely to exacerbate your symptoms and see what they have to say.

  • Tricky this one as once you were happy to eat the treats and now they have an extra letter and are threats. You both live in the house and have to be happy. Treats that you can see are tempting. A possible solution is rather than making hubby miserable, buy an opaque storage box with a lid. Then put a cloth on it and use it as a little coffee table. The more stuff on it, the less likely you will be in it.

    It's a compromise and remember, he just needs gentle retraining to spoil you with flowers not chocs. Happy Christmas. Xx

  • Oh no this is so not fair. If the treats have to be on show could you put them in a big bowl and mix them up with fruit especially at this time of year when satsumas nuts and red apples would look really festive.

    Best wishes

    Flox

  • Good morning Hubby'sMissMouse,

    I 100% know that feeling! I have a wonderful partner who says he will love me whatever size I am.

    Yes that is wonderful and kind but... He is a feeder!!! He stays as slim as anything whatever he eats. But trying to loose weight is very hard as he does the same sort of things your husband does and it's not fair.

    We have talked these things through and he say ok il not do it anymore but it's only because I love you I buy you nice things. I say if you love me you will try and help me. He says but I don't mind what size you are it's you with the problem your fine as you are.

    Grrrr....... I'm not fine I'm overweight, uncomfortable, unhappy with myself and want to get back to my 8stone 2lb - 8stone 7lb. I'm just a smidging under 10stone. May seem very light to many people but I'm small with a light frame. I'm all belly hips and legs and to make it worse I've a very much muffin top.

    But getting back to our other half tormenting us with food and treats... We are going to have to be solid as a rock because I think they will always test us to break us. I don't know if it insecurity their side thinking if we look beautiful we might get attention from other men. But what they do is unfair when they love us.

    My partner buys bars of chocolate, cakes, biscuits and non of these he eats himself. Just says I got them for you as your doing well and you can't starve yourself you need a treat. Then to try and tempt me further he will sit next to me snuggled up on the sofa talking about lovely tasty treats, then gets up and gets himself some revels or midget gems or wine gums and eats them in front of me going mmmm..... These are so nice are you sure you don't want some? And keep holding them in front of me asking and asking and saying you know you want to really.

    Last night he was late working and said don't get tea I'm going to get a kebab on the way. Great I thought, then he came home with giant doner for himself and.... A chicken kebab for me! Tried to explain again! But he got grumpy so I picked at it slowly for 10 mins to keep him happy but didn't eat to much of it thank god.

    So all in all I really do understand what you are going through.

    It's going to be the toughest challenge ever but I'm going to try and hang in there. So maybe we can help each other through our double challenge πŸ™‚

    Good luck and stay strong.

    Sorry to everyone who read this far it was so long!!!

  • I do fully understand they do sound similar. Yes I think we would be great to help each other. I am determined to do this and we have to stay strong. Your note was long but very good so don't worry about it. It helped me to see they were similar with this part of things, I do think they are worried we will leave them. I know I will never leave him, I'm doing this so I will be able to have IVF for us soon as i can't have children and I know both of us would love them. Because I have epilepsy we are unable to foster and adopt but we can keep children of our own.

  • Snap what can we do with these husbands? Mine has the knack of just placing chocolate bars in the fridge its a nightmare He never puts any weight on at all its so unfair!

    It's hard as its unfair to say he can't have chocolate he works hard all week and he doesn't eat them that often but I have no willpower they call out to me and tell me how yummy they would be with a coffee

    Serious words I think will be had πŸ˜ƒ

  • Somehow between the three of us we should stick together and get through it all together. We will have to work something out between us.

  • Well my only hope is my husband is retiring at the end of December and he buys the choccies when he pops into Tescos at lunchtimes and sees them on offer A Terry's chocolate orange arrived home the other day ! Oooooh

    πŸ˜€

  • Nice to know we can understand what we are going through πŸ™‚ So come on, let's find a way round this and not succumb anymore.

    United we shall stand and WILL be slim.

    (God knows how! )

  • Yes, I'm glad none of us are looking at this on our own from now. Thankyou guys this is very much appreciated. πŸ‘πŸ˜€

    We will all get there in at team together.

    At least when your husband retires he shouldn't be going into the stores everyday. Good luck there Cat33.

    If they are all being insecure maybe we should find a way to slightly play on this without it causing problems for our relationships just like they are playing on us trying to lose weight.

  • On a rant about husbands ... I was working late last night amd hubby told me he was going to cook a lovely tomato pasta dish with salad. Wholegrain pasta and everything. When I got home it turns out he'd lost track of time and didn't have time left to cook. When I got home there was a big Domino's pizza waiting for me. I was good and only ate part of it but still!

  • That's a shame but at least he did choose a takeaway that is one of the smallest calories. Well done for not eating too much of it. He must have looked at the calorie options of takeaways to make sure he chose the one with the smallest amounts so was still thinking of you. It is annoying though. Bless you.

  • Looking at it another way maybe it is a good thing as he is testing your will power, which will no doubt make it stronger if you are really determined to do this. Be strong and he will be so proud of you that you have been able to resist all those naughty treats. You could also find low calorie treats to eat while he is eating those naughty ones. I love popcorn and Walkers Sunbites popcorn is only about 50 calories a pack. Eat it really slowly, one bit at a time and it lasts for ages. Best of luck :)

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