Unfortunately Yes I am hard on myself. The perfectism comes with the eating disorder I have to admit something before going forward today that I took 30 laxatives last night before going to bed. With the fear of not being perfect and the weighing in on Thursday sometimes drives me to do desperate stupid things unfortunately. Starting next Tuesday I am going I am taking a cognitive behavioral therapy sessions. I am hoping it well help start breaking down my walls and begin to live for freedom for a day is a day and you do the best you can. and to enjoy life. I know that it will take it time to
change myself and I have a great person that is going to help me and very nice. I hope you terrific people don't mind me coming on the site and talking after my secret of purging. You guys have helped me so much you will never know the graditute you have given me the freedom of 2 weeks of binge free. I never felt that freedom in 4 years of binging. (ONE DAY AT A TIME WITH NO EXPECTATIONS) My knew motto. bye for now thanks!!!