The daily battle

Hi all,

I am very new to this site so apologies if this type of post has been written before but I am driving myself crazy this evening and don't know what else to do.

I have recently come back from a trip to New York which I loved!! But I can't stand looking a the photos because of how big I look in comparison to my friends. I am in my 30's and whilst they are all on average a size 8-12 I'm a size 20 (soon heading for a 22).

Not only do I hate how much larger I am than them; I am also worried about how unhealthily I am becoming and that the more weight I put on, the harder it will be to loose!

I am not a gym phobe but recently the thought of going there fills me with dread and panic because of not knowing what exercises will help me the most. I try to eat healthy but I live on my own so often I end up with 'quick' meals rather than dietary balanced ones. And at the end of a long stressful day at work, I have no partner to come home to so a bag of chocolate buttons ends up being my comfort!

....woe is me!!

In my head I have lots and lots of motivation and good intentions. But in reality I struggle to make that first step. This results in a constant mental battle, which to be honest, makes me feel exhausted in itself! It seems like such a long road ahead and I don't know where to begin. Any advice or words of wisdom? Thanks x

9 Replies

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  • Hi fabfran85 and welcome to the weight loss forum. You've taken the first step by joining us. I also live alone (and have slim friends). Food wise I try to batch cook and keep some portions in the freezer for when I don't want to cook. Equally, being a chocoholic, it's easier not to buy it in the first place πŸ˜„

    You've come to the right place, this is a very friendly, encouraging and helpful site, and we are all on the same journey to health.

    If you haven't already, please read the Welcome Newbies post. It's in the Pinned Posts section, to the right of your screen, (bottom if you're on a mobile). It has a link to the NHS 12 week plan, which is a great place to start. It doesn't give a specific diet plan, but gives guidelines for healthy eating. Also take a look at the Topics section beneath that, for posts that could answer any questions you may have. You may also like to check out how many calories you should have each day using the BMI checker.

    Perhaps consider joining in our challenges, they're fun to do and help with motivation.

    Join us for the Monday Group weigh-in. If you 'follow' Lowcal and moreless (our very approachable site Admins), you'll be notified when they post the threads. The latest weigh-in thread can always be found in the Events section, to the right of the home page. The weigh in is entirely voluntary, but I find it helps keep me accountable.

    Be active on the forum, as that's where we exchange ideas and get our daily dose of motivation and inspiration. πŸ˜„

    Enjoy the forum, and I wish you success with your goals.

    Good luck πŸ˜€

    Mouse 🐭

    ps I meant to add that you don't have to join a gym to exercise, walking is extremely good and for people like us, who live alone, it's a good way to meet other people :D

  • Thank you 😊

  • Hello, i empathise with the mental battle, and the long road ahead! im in my 30s also.

    Perhaps make a list of positive changes you could make, and change them slowly one at a time? then you might not get as overwhelmed. maybe start with cooking easy balanced meals for yourself- even if youre cooking for one, you deserve to eat a nutritious tasty meal every day. think of it as an act of self-care.

    Then after a couple weeks or a month you could buy a yoga DVD perhaps, and start exercising gently at home. yoga increases your strength, flexibilty and wellbeing, and no gyms involved! it also increases your motivation to eat well as you feel healthier in yourself, and more connected to your body.

    Im struggling with losing weight myself but ive just started using slimpod, and feel very hopeful about it. i cant recommend it yet because its supposed to take a few weeks befor you start losing weight, but ill post about it before xmas.

    Good luck, be kind to yourself.

    Hedgehog xx

  • Hello and welcome I am so glad you enjoyed your break in New York and that you have such good friends to share your life with that's a blessing in it's self as is living by yourself when it comes to healthy eating you only have yourself to please and no one to sabotage your efforts! I am a great fan of meal planning and using a shopping list and the beauty of eating to your personal calorie allowance is that if you want a treat you can have it. I don't know what you do as a job but if you have a lunch break could you use part of it to go for a walk? It really is the easiest exercise to do. Good luck and hope to see you post in the Monday weigh in

    Regards Flox

  • Hello fabfran85 😊

    You have some excellent links and advice from the lovely people here at HU 😊

    But like most of us it's not a question of knowledge preventing you from losing weight and being healthier, it's getting your head in the right place. Your brain is the most powerful weapon you have and can change eating properly from a daily battle into a normal natural habit. This is not easy but it is possible. I read everything I can, watch videos on you tube, and listen to podcasts (my favourite is foodforfitness.co.uk)

    I also came to conclusion (at aged 54, so it took me while!!! Lol) that I am worth it, I deserve good nutrition and a healthier body. This is quite difficult as many of us feel guilt for being born with propensity to gain weight. πŸ˜•

    I am still on the journey, I have accepted I always will be, but it is worth it, to feel fitter and healthier at 55 than I have in over 20 years, is reward it self. And THAT is more appealing than the foods that tempt us off this path. 😊

    Have a read of the links above, get to know the forum, ask if you have any questions, and just take small steps until you feel more confident. The 12 week plan is an excellent one 😊

    Good luck and very best wishes 😊

  • Welcome an American here glad you had a visit with u, although making you sad at the same time. As you can see this forum is so supportive with wonderful individuals. They have covered the basics very well with you. I do hear the motivation in your voice with that you can succeed on your path. Meal planning will be important for you being single. I suggest buying a crock pot make two dishes on the weekend, split or divide more division( meal portion size is important ). Example veggie soup, stews, pasta sauce( must limit amount of noodle ). Still so many recipe on site! Use a freezer bag and freeze to have for a dinner in the week, take out in the morning to defrost. Easy and simple keeps cooking to weekends, play some music and dance around as you create the meal. Walk quickly to the market bags can be exercise weights. Drink 8-8oz glasses of water per day ti stay hydrated.

  • Thank you all for your supportive comments. They are very much appreciated!xx

  • Hi Fran, I'm new here too. I can relate to being motivated in my head, but as for doing anything about I struggle. I live alone too and it can seem almost too much effort to have a healthy, low fat meal every day. As suggested cooking and freezing is a great idea. Good luck on your journey. We definitely are worth it x

  • Hi Fran, How is it going so far? I am a size 20 too and a similar age. I also think we live near each other! It must be hard cooking on your own. I have problems the other way cooking something my family will actually eat that is still healthy! It's hard to get motivated when you have so far to go-especially if you've been here before too! I hope you have found some support on here that has helped.

    Rachel

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