Wrong place to be here

[Saad619]

This health unlock is good for nothing I try and scream to this forum that please help me please talk to me please I m alone and depressed due to my problems but no one help me everyone ignoring me and one person say that they will not talk to me so why people's here show hypocrite they gonna help me everyone is fake nobody is going to help me on anything . I thought people's here talk to me they understand my problems they give me love respect but here everyone is ignoring me and don't even talk to me and ignoring me completely maybe this is reality of life or health unlock nobody here help me with anything or even talk to me . I need to talk to u with people that please talk to me but no one chat with me!

[Ruby8]

Saad619 , I don't think that is right. I just had a look and you had 7 replies to your last post and 18 replies to the post before that.

I am sorry you are feeling so upset.

[Saad619 in reply to Ruby8]

Because no one is helping me and people's here say that we don't wanna talk to u

[Saad619 in reply to Saad619]

Everyone is still ignoring me they all hate me because I m bad ugly guy one of my friend here also ignoring me now she is ignoring me everyone is ignoring me so why this health unlock made to ignore me

[Richarde19691]

Wrong way to get people to talk to you. Ask questions Ask them what they are doing to change then come to your own conclusions and make what ever you want to fit around your lifestyle. i dont talk much i just post maybe once per day but i always read and if i see somethinng that grabs me or needs help i will reply or wants to know how i changed for the better again i will repl. Also like to add its not a chat room its a place were we all escape to and talk about in post what we been doing in hope of inspriring others. people have work and other stuff to do plus the site is not working right at the moment so comments and alerts dont always show up until its fixed i cant even post my daily picture

[Alison44]

Hi there, I have also had a quick look at your other replies, and I agree with the replies you had. I have had, and still have anxiety and depression. The first thing you need to do is go and see your doctor for help. It takes time but you can get over it. Then, you can start to tackle other issues one at a time. Everyone on this forum is here to support you but the only person that can get you started is you. Please go to your doctor, trust me they can help!

[MissisB 4 stone]

I do know that in the responses to one of your posts, people were very helpful and suggested that in addition to having a look at the Pinned Posts and joining in here, you might also talk to your GP and show him your posts.

How was your GP when you saw them? Tell us about how you got on

As has been said, the more questions I ask on here about healthy eating and fitness, the more I am learning. Please ask and learn too

[Itsbab]

Hi

1. Did you see your doctor? If you did what did he/she say to you about depression and weight loss? seeing a doctor must be your first step.

2. Everyone here has tried through looking at your previous posts to advise you but have you took any steps following the advice given?

3. Tell people in detail what exactly it is you want people to do, this is a forum for advice on weight loss there are separate forums for other issues such as depression etc.

4. Have you tried to talk to your family and do you still live with them?

We are not people who can sort out other people's lives we can only advise and listen, we all have to ask for exactly what we want, and the only person who can sort out our problems has to be ourselves ultimately.

I hope you can find a way to see someone like a doctor as they can firstly tell if you are in depression or arrange counselling for you.

Good luck and best wishes.

[Hidden]

It's very frustrating in my opinion, to read your posts and the replies and see people give you good advice that you do not follow. if people keep trying to help you by being supportive, giving you tips on changing your lifestyle and to go to your doctor for support with your depression and you do none of the thing suggested then people are obviously going to stop replying to you.

Unfortunately nobody can fix your life for you. You need to take steps to do this yourself. You need to take control of changes you can make or nothing will ever change. People have been continuously kind, understanding and helpful towards you so it would be good to see you taking action let us know what YOU are doing to change things, and we will try to support you along the way but NOTHING will change if you come back to everything with "I can't do this because I am bald, fat, ugly". I am overweight and not attractive, and these things do not stop me from trying to lose weight, if anything they inspire me.

You need to help yourself or no one else can help you.

See your doctor about your depression.

Try doing the positivity challenge.

Say something good about yourself everyday, and if you cannot think of anything, change something about your lifestyle and that will give you something positive to say.

Try to deal with your self esteem issues and realise nothing will get better on its own, you have to TRY. and REALLY try.

Stop making excuses.

Stop calling yourself fat, ugly and anything negative. I do not care what you look like. this does not define who you are.

Realise you deserve it from yourself to make positive changes in your life and please stop taking it out on the people on this forum by claiming everyone hates you as it is simply NOT true.

I think it's time for you to start taking action.

[Ruby8]

Yes Saad619 , everyone on here wants to eat healthily and lose weight. We can give you advice, but at the end of the day we all have to take responsibility for our own progress.

Please do talk to your doctor, you do need more help.

[Richarde19691]

So i've just reread some of your posts and i've commented a few times along with many others.

So here is some advice of how i dealt with stuff in my life

I was the biggest pain in the world how my wife never left me i still scratch my head on that 1 at times when i look back.

In 2008 i lost my job for a man thats worked all his life i took it hard lucky my wife was working at the time so i got to bring my son up or so i thought first few months was ok active with son going out with wife after about 6 months or so noticing my wife was always sleepy i started to feel low and having worked for the same company from age of 17 i didnt have any kind of qualifications but i still started to apply for jobs at the time it was rough as companies was closing down no one was hiring so on and so on which then started to bring me down.

After a yr or so i stopped being active with son started to just sit in bedroom playing on computer talking to friends all over the world who was not really friends but took my problems away at the time, i started to feel like i was not a man letting my wife do the work so Nasty thoughts came creeping into my head i'm worthless waste of space so on and so on.

18 months later i started to make excuses to go outside house if i did i just used to freak out i went to doc's who said i had Social Anxiety which made it even worse lol. I started to eat and eat alot the more i would eat the less i would go outside 2 yrs later doc's having to see me at house now hes telling me i have agoraphobia OMG what a waste of space in life i was that was me watching my wife and son grow without me while i just grew in size them having to deal with me not being able to go outside watch my son at sports watch him win awards for his school work the only thought that kept me going was him and wife now i'm not or never will be a medicine person i would rather do things without meds yes it may take longer but i'm from Yorkshire i been told i'm a stubborn person lol.

6 yrs on this may i woke up cried broke down like i never have before to wife and to son said i cant live like this anymore.

So off my own back i stood up and said no more i'm in control of me no my insercure thoughts i went outside after 6yrs god it freaked the hell out of me and ran back in and seeing a 28st man run is not funny but what i'm getting it your having a rant at the wrong people here only you and your docs can help you we can all give advice but taking that advice is in your hands alone.

So this is how i dealt with my Social Anxiety Agoraphobia and Eating Disorder

Step 1 admit i had problem

Step 2 look at how i could fix this

how i fixed it and still fixing it, i took baby steps going outside just saying hello or a random smile to a person in the street Exercising took a huge part of my life too as it helps me control my Anxeity not saying it works all the time but 99% of time i also started a vlog on youtube didnt tell anyone but it was away to put myself out there if anyone was going to shame me or make fun of me its people on youtube and thats also what i have to deal with what people see of me and how i see myself.

with all this i'm now down to 22st living life to the max exercising is my bible eating healthy is my bible being kind and never judging anyone as you never know what that person deep down is feeling and my goal in life is to make at least 1 person smile each day and that does not included my wife or son.

Now thats some pretty good Advice if i say so myself but its in your hands now

All the Best

Richard

Keep that chin up and always smile

[muffintop67 in reply to Richarde19691]

You are a very kind person Richard. Being so brave and honest in telling your very moving story to try and help someone else. So pleased that you are doing so well now. You truly are an inspiration to others. I only hope Saad619 will listen to your advice.

[Richarde19691 in reply to muffintop67]

TY

[slimpickings 2 stone in reply to Richarde19691]

Richards, you have been so brutally honest and open about yourself. Thank you for sharing deeply personal information. This shows how much people really do care. Xx

[MissisB 4 stone in reply to Richarde19691]

Your honesty, Richarde19691 is to be commended. Maybe it's the Yorkshire in you (boo hiss, Wars of the Roses may have to be reinvoked) but speaking so openly and honestly about such private issues you have faced in your life, has helped me to think about some things, and I am certain will help anyone else who is facing anything similar who takes the time to read, think and takes on your positive attitude. As you say, it doesn't happen overnight, but baby steps are indeed the way forward.

And very best wishes to your amazing wife.

[SlimmerSue62 in reply to Richarde19691]

I take my hat off to you Richard you have come so far. getting yourself out of the door must have been like climbing mount Everest. you should be so so proud of yourself. Congratulations with your new life. I had anxiety attacks after I had a seizure you either Give up or carry on and you are an insperation.

[Richarde19691]

Also if you every need to rant or just message me feel free i may not answer right away but i will answer but rather you not rant in here when people did reply to you and tried to help you as that could just push people away from trying to help you or if you want a good giggle go watch my vlogs lol see a man cry and chat in a yorkshire accent that no one can understand lol youtube.com/channel/UC-Lb8s...

[Alison44 in reply to Richarde19691]

There's nowt wrong with a bit of Yorkshire😁I'm from Yorkshire too and proud! Thank you for sharing your story, inspirational!

[wa2un7 Maintainer]

You have always had replies to your posts offering support and advice. I have never seen anyone saying they did not want to talk to you. It's a pity you are unable to see that. Perhaps you need a face to face group, as you do not seem to be willing to accept the genuine support offered to you on this forum which has been a lifeline for so many of us.

[MrNiceGuy]

To suggest that the forum is good for nothing or that its members are indeed fake, is incredibly wide of the mark.

You’ve not been ignored at all, Syed, as you’ve routinely received advice, support, encouragement and even replies of concern to your posts. I’d even go so far to say that you’ve received far more than most do.

Nonetheless, despite the time we’ve all taken to offer our advice and encouragement, ultimately, you need to take responsibility for ensuring that a daily calorie deficit continues to be maintained, that the consumption of refined carbohydrate (sugar) is reduced and that calories continue to be expended through exercise, since these are the main factors that influence your level of weight loss success. We cannot do these things for you, Syed.

Furthermore, rather than bemoan what cannot be changed, start to focus upon that which can; continuing to beat yourself up over the fact you’re becoming follicly-challenged will only add to your sense of self-loathing.

In the grand scheme, does having a head full of hair really improve health over that of a wholesome diet and regular exercise, both of which have been scientifically proven to assist in the improvement of body composition, alongside that of calorie reduction?

The sooner you stop telling yourself that you can’t do it and that it’s all so difficult, the sooner you’ll begin to realise that you can actually maintain a daily calorie deficit, that you can replace unhealthy foods with wholesome alternatives and that you will ensure that regular exercise continues to be undertaken, all of which will help to improve your mood and level of self-confidence.

The time and effort you devote to improving your sense of mental and physical well-being is an investment and much like any other investment, you get out what you put in.

[TMM4 2kg]

Feeling so terrible, as you obviously do, shows you need some serious help - if your arm or leg was hurting that bad you would see you GP. So please take the pain you feel as seriously as you would any other health matter and see a doctor as soon as possible.

It took me literally years to seek help, and what a lot of time I lost because of it. So don't be like me, make that appointment now and start making your life change 😊

Meanwhile, we are all here, posting our weights and recipes. Are you taking part in the Monday weigh-ins? I never miss because I know it does my head good to get into a routine. I see that people loose, gain, or stay the same, but most importantly they keep going!

I hope to see you there next Monday! Don't worry about whether it feels like a good idea to join in now, just do it... the good feelings will come later when you start to heal.

(And do see your Dr! 💖)