26, Overweight and worried :(

I am 26 and overweight. No matter how much I try, I can't shift any of my weight. I was bullied when at school and seemed to always be comfort eating to block out the bullying. Now having depression and anxiety, I feel that I am comfort eating again. I really want to lose weight as I am 6 stone overweight for my height and there is heart disease and cancer in my mum's family. I am just needing some help and motivation to do something about my weight. I would like to add that I don't count calories, I would prefer to eat healthier foods and smaller portions; obviously without wanting to eat in between my meals as I think that is my problem - feeling the need to eat all the time. Any help would be appreciated xxx


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17 Replies

  • Can you imagine stepping outside of yourself for a moment; look at the person you see; someone you care for and want to help; how would you advise that person?

    Can you tell her that inside that body, there is a valuable, kind and caring human being who deserves to be treated with respect?

    Tell her that looking backwards does not help; those days are behind you now.

    Don't let those bullies ruin your life...you show them what you are made of! Look ahead now; a bright and happy future is there for the taking.

    Once you have made that decision, the rest is easy. Get an online calorie counter; chuck out the tempting foods, (or put them out of reach). Plan a day's eating to include high protein, low carbs and sugar, high fruit and veg. Make time for some walking, or swimming, or dancing or hoovering...something to get you moving. Day 2; repeat ....and so on, and soon you will discover that lovely lady who has been hiding away and waiting to be set free.

  • DartmoorDumpling Thank you for the reply. I have never thought about stepping outside my self, but its great advice. My mum is really worried about and it seems that she is nagging me to lose weight but I know she is only looking out for me and caring for me because of the health problems in her family. Can you suggest foods that are high in protein? I do eat a lot of chicken and rice, and it seems boring to take the same thing to work everyday, as much as greggs and sainsburys lunches are a delight to be had, I feel that even though I take lunch with me, I buy a meal deal or a sausage roll and pretend I didn't have it :(

  • Meal suggestions to start you off?

    Breakfast: poached eggs or beans on toast (but don't follow up with toast and marmalade - it is one or the other! OR Porridge with chopped fruit/ banana OR Yogurt with fruit OR scrambled egg with bacon - try and keep between 350 and 500 cals

    Lunch: I used to like John West Light Lunches (fish based meal) which are only 250 cals and don't need refridgeration OR a wrap with salad and chicken + yogurt or fruit OR hard boiled egg with chopped veg or salad in a pot + a healthy fruity bar or piece of fruit OR flask of homemade soup with Banana and a crispbread ...use your imagination and a calorie calculator to see what you can get for under 500 cals

    Dinner: A serving of meat or fish, small portion of carbs (potato, rice or pasta) and large serving of veg - carrots, broccoli, sprouts, cabbage, green beans etc. Dessert will depend on how many calories you have left...it could be a stuffed baked apple or a sugar-free jelly or low-cal fromage frais. Aim to have around 500 cals or less if you have a glass of wine or a snack as these have to be counted too!

    Snacks could be a pot of dried fruit and seeds or sliced salad veg or rice-cakes or fresh fruit or even a small bar of chocolate (with the emphasis on small).

    Basically, nothing is forbidden, but you need to keep track of what you eat and drink... if you want a large glass of wine, you can't have a pudding too! The idea is to reduce the total day's calories to around 1500 or so, but still eat a wide variety of food so you don't lose out nutritionally. If you go over one day, try and eat a bit less the next..or just start afresh; it is not a race after all.

    Let us know what ideas you come up with - we all like some new suggestions now and then?

  • So often have a slice of toast, and 2 teasp of nut butter, and a piece of fruit for breakfast, suits me

  • I used to have cereal + yogurt with fruit and then toast & jam to follow...now I have to choose one or the other, but not both anymore!

    Toast and nut butter is an excellent quick breakfast.

  • Beautiful words DD xx

  • Lovely reply DD ❤️

  • Such beautiful advice.

  • Hi Vickij1989 you sound like me, and I so wish I had made the brave decision to change like you have when I was your age. I'm 20 years older than you, but am now motivated to do this for me. I know what you mean about buying extra food and pretending to yourself that you didn't eat it. I've done that too, but the only person I've been fooling is me. I don't do that anymore. I record everything I eat, even when I know I've eaten something I shouldn't. It's the only way. I'm now exercising 3-4 times a week, walking more, taking a lunch break at work and getting out for a walk (away from the shops!) It's not easy, but this is for me, and I want to succeed for me. I'm worth it, and so are you. Keep posting, the lovely people on this site really do help. I've loved being on here. I'm on week 4 of the NHS plan, and am a graduate of C25K. I have a whole load of weight to lose, but a whole new determination to do it. I hope you find your motivation too.

  • Hi and welcome

    You have been given some great advice - the piece I want to share with you is 'If you really really want to you will do it'

    I gave up smoking 5 months ago - I had tried so many times before and failed but 5 months ago I really wanted to be smoke free and so I have done it :)

    Now I am trying to shift the weight that I gained by giving up smoking as well as the extra weight I was already carrying

    It's hard going and I am counting calories for the first time ever - but I am doing it for ME!!! no one else

    You have to really want it and be determined, no one else can do this for you - feel free to message me and I will try my best to keep you on track (I don't say I keep on track fully and have the odd slip up, I am only 4 weeks into this and I know some days will get the better of me but you just have to put it behind you and move forward with fresh determination for the next day and you will get there)

    Make small achievable goals for yourself - like 1lb per week loss and increase your walking by 200 steps per day (sorry I have a fitbit now too and have focused on increasing my steps - as i am not into fitness but I know it has to be increased therefore I am doing a little more each day and hopefully get to do the couch to 5K before I end this journey )

    Wishing you all the best on your journey and please contact me or post on here for support as they are all fab on here :)

  • Thank you to everyone that has commented so far. It's really nice to know that there are people in he same position and we can all help each other to achieve the same goals. I will keep you all posted on how I am getting on xx

  • Agreed, DD has certainly provided you with a myriad of choices and suggestions that I also echo, Vicki.

    Moreover, you can rest assured that you won’t be bullied here; all you’ll receive is helpful advice, support and encouragement.

    Focus upon the day-to-day, by maintaining a calorie deficit from TDEE (preferably 500Kcal), reducing consumption of refined carbohydrates (in favour of complex alternatives) and increase level of activity (it’s important to participate in something you enjoy) and everything will gradually begin to fall into place.

  • Hi and welcome..keep reading..I watch the diet shows ..obese 1 year to save my life or biggest looser etc., and the subjects' transformations imotivates me to excercise . I download excercise apps to my mobile phone...relaxing ones like pilates and stretching...then I feel motivated to excercise at home maybe you tube..or a favourite bunch of music crs. .headphones in loud and step to the beat with water nearby.or if you have wiI fit the dancing ones to you favourite type of music is fun and others can join in..this helps keeping me excercising..especially when I'm too ill to go to the gym. I'm the largest one in most gym classes but I find the instructors and regulars encourage me to keep going and help me to excercise at my pace on a regular basis, especially now I've lost 2.5 stones overall since August. but I'm here as I yo yo diet and now I'm at the 2 stones mark I usually then put on 3 after loosing 2 so I'm here for permanent change.. I have rheumatoid arthritis and have stopped all medication due to almost dying from the medication earlier on this year; I was obese before getting ill and then i gained 4 more stone from taking strong steroids to get my liver working again. so my excercise is my medicine. my motivation is if I get too big for my bones..so to speak..I risk having to walk with a stick or use a mobile scooter so I remind myself of the risks if my bones in older age if I keep putting pressure on them...and smaller plates for all your meals..it works for me. keep reading other peples stories and you will get there..don't rush.take your time and enjoy the new experiences ahead of you. so to summarise find your motivational friend or thing and remind yourself of it each day and at weak time; and if you fail today..tomorrow is just a few hours away and don't feel bad you will still have cake when you hit your target . .it will just be a smaller slice than previously . .all the best for the next kilo..kilos and stones...and enjoy the experience of getting there

  • Hi everyone, I have planned all of my lunches for the week so that I don't eat in between my meals and keep myself fuller for longer.

    DD, I took your suggestion of the John West light lunches and bought two for this week, along with soup for two days, chicken and rice and also a baguette with tuna sandwich filler; whilst watching all of my potions and nutrient intake. Will keep you all posted 😊

  • All sounding very positive 😊 Well done and good luck for the week 😊😊😊

  • Hello welcome! i was bullied at school too, i still remember some of it and im 33. i think it helps to accept your feelings about it, you are probably traumatised. i hope you have some support from family or GP or a counseelor.

    Even though youve had this horrible time though, you can still move forward. you can have a happy life, and a healthy body. believe in yourself. i know the bullies have probably damaged your self esteem and confidence, but you can start to heal now.

    You are powerful, and you can succeed!

    Wishing you health and happiness,

    Hedgehog xx

  • Hi everyone 😊 Today is my third day of sticking to my three meals a day; and it's also the second day of using My fitness pal app and I have to day I am very proud of myself staying under 1,500 calories a day xx

    I did have two chocolate biscuits after work on Sunday but I didn't feel bad as I added them to the app and was still under the goal calories 😀 xx I know it's only been three days and it is hard no eating in between my meals but I don't feel as hungry as I am drinking more water, using an 850 ml bottle this week.

    Hope the rest of you are doing well, let's hear are doing lol good news xxxx

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