Don't know what's wrong with me, I do well counting calories and eating healthy in the day then I get to 8pm and I seem to just eat bad stuff. My partner gives in to easy with me so if I want chocolate he will nip out and get it for me. Trying really hard not to give in to cravings and ask, but even when I visit my mum, I tell her I'm Changing my ways so no sugar, but she doesn't think I need to and makes me a tea with two sugars.

I am fighting a losing battle as I have to defend the reasons I want to lose weight and keep reminding people I love not to tempt me at the moment as I am finding it difficult to motivated myself. What's driving me mad though I I have two children the eldest being two and I don't want him having these issues.

Sorry for the rant, I just don't seem to have anyone to turn to who understands the difficulties with wanting to lose weight and eat healthy.


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21 Replies

  • Heya. I find it hard to stay motivated all day aswell. Ive read your willpower can literally run out later in the day, as it gets used up by so many little things, and you get tired. The things that do help me stay on track (when i actually do lol) are resting a bit in the afternoon (although that might not be possible with the kids) and making sure i eat healthy snacks so i dont get too ravenous and make bad decisions.

    Dealing with your family is a difficult one too. My dad will critisize me for my weight, but last time i visited he made deep fried fish and chips for dinner! I guess like me, all you can do with your family is practise being strong and assertive. It doesnt come naturally to me so im still practising!

    You dont have to defend the reasons why you want to lose weight- its your body and if you want to lose weight thats a good enough reason. Also sometimes people around you dont want you to change, because it makes them have to look at their own lifestyles.

    I think if you can manage to be more strong and decisive around them for a couple weeks, they will have to come round. Maybe find little ways around individual problems. Like can you make your own tea at your mum's, or clearly say to her you dont want sugar in it. Maybe if you fancy something sweet in the evenings you could keep some really tasty fruit in , or some 70% dark chocolate? Or if you want something creamy, if you have 150g of full fat Total yogurt, a drizzle of honey and some berries, thats only 200 cals and its really satisfying.

    Stay strong- you can do this!

    All the best

    Hedgehog ☺

  • I like the idea about the youghurt and dark chocolate, I will definitely give it a try.

    My mum is fussy about certain things and is of the opinion that it's normal to gain weight as you get older and expects my to stay this way, but she doesn't understand why I'd be unhappy and I'm this way do to eating unhealthy things.

  • Evening eating is a habit that is difficult to break 😊 Could you have a planned snack at 9pm to look forward to? E.g. A milky drink and slice of toast?

    With time, it gets easier, but as hedgehog says ascwe get tired our resistance is lower 😊

  • Sounds like you are having a struggle with your mum over the tea - do you drink coffee without sugar? If you do perhaps try having coffee with your mum

    I like you have 2 sugars in my coffee and there is NO way I am giving that up, however I have limited myself to a max of 2 a day (have to wake up to my morning coffee) and then I drink hot water for the rest of the day

    Good luck with you healthy eating and weight loss :)

  • Hello, it is hard if the people around you are sabotaging you, even if they are doing it out of kindness. However, people are very resistant to change, and perhaps you are also inadvertently helping them by talking to them about your plans to lose weight and give up sugar. This keeps it going as a discussion point, and therefore they can try and change your mind.

    What I'd suggest is that you just don't discuss it with them, and if necessary tell lies! EG, why not tell your mum that you've stopped taking sugar in your tea because you've just gone off the taste? You could neak a sweetener in when she's not looking, or actually give up sweetening your tea, and within a couple of weeks you will genuinely hate the taste of sweet tea.

    For your 8pm problem, you could try changing your routine so that there isn't a trigger having a choc bar. Could you have a nice bath and get ready for bed at that time? The other way of handling it is to save some calories for just a small treat like a 2-finger kitkat or a choc digestive. Some people find that a little taste of sweet foods keeps them going.

  • How I sympathise with you, portion packs, crisps etc I find handy , if you ration them? Be occupied, drink yummy herbal teas, take one to your mum's? There are some lovely ones out there with a sweetness to them, my fav is liquorice with peppermint, Aldi/Lidl make their own , as do tesco.

    Hope these things help?

  • Hi Debbie ,

    I call my wife a feeder,she buys food items such as cakes ,etc.when I ask why she says there are other people in the house.my response is that they did not ask you to buy those items.

    And what makes it worse she is looking to lose weight and does so.

    You are not ranting ,you are just saying how you feel ,this forum is good for that ,you are not alone.

  • I never have this due being cat and I, tho I have been buying extra cold meat for her ( from my lovely butcher), one very spoilt cat!

    I'm hoping she won't leave home

  • Hiya, readings your post sounds like I wrote it. I have a healthy breakfast, lunch, takes fruit snacks to work but when I get home it goes out the window. My husband is just as bad though we are a bad influence in each other. As we both have highly stressful jobs it just takes one of us to say I don't feel like cooking or i fancy some chocolate and that's that! I've also got into a bad habit of going for a latte after work to unwind and having a cake with it. I need to use that energy for exercise instead but don't. It's hard but this forum should help us help each other. Xx

  • HI MummyDebbie. Its is hard when people around you are not helping the situation. Have you really sat them down and explained how you are feeling and told them that you want to set a good example to your children. Maybe if they see how serious you are they will change their attitude. I guess it just means you need to be extra strong to fight against their resistance. As far as evening cravings go I would make sure you are eating enough for your evening meal to try and help stop the munchies or make sure you keep some calories back from your allowance to allow for a snack. I have found Walkers Sunbathes Wholegrain Sweet and Salty popcorn is only 59 calories for a 14g bag or Snack a Jacks caramel rice cakes are only 51 calories per cake. These are great if I am feeling like a snack and fill me up and only use up about 50 calories. Use this forum as much as you can. It is so great and the help and support here is what made me finally lose the weight after several years of trying and failing. Best of luck to you :)

  • Sorry me again - I forgot to say I do sometimes clean my teeth early in the evening as I don't like eating with that minty taste in my mouth! Bit strange but it works for me :)

  • My partner is as skinny as a rake and loves chocolate, biscuits and cake, all the things I can't have. In the past I have had exactly the same problem as you. But this time I am determined to succeed. I have made a commitment that I am going to do this. I am strongly motivated because I have made that commitment to myself. And do you know what? I am finding it really easy to ignore the temptations. I was in the habit of having a glass of wine most evenings or a glass of beer, since I committed I haven't had a drop - and I haven't missed it at all. I think it really all boils down to commitment, and it's your motivation and commitment that you need to address.

    Ask yourself why am I doing this? What do I hope to achieve? What will success feel like? What am I prepared to give up? If you expect to succeed without making sacrifices you might as well forget it.

  • You're absolutely right, and well done with keeping to your commitment ☺️. I find it hard to do what you have at the moment but there are important reasons for me to get my weight on track and I do feel it will become better though.

  • I understand what you are saying and its good that you have raised this issue for the others of us who experience all these feelings and experiences.

    I have recently been on a personal development course and the issue of responsibility and integrity was explored. Who are we if we don't mean what we say? And don't take personal responsibility for what we want - we can be messed with....

    We listen to others for approval, acceptance and love - to fit in and belong. Maybe you are being so hard on yourself that their acceptance of what you are doing to lose weight becomes even more important.

    I suggest we be kind, kind, kind to ourselves. Believe and congratulate every small step towards your goal as evidence that you are an amazing person.

    Someone on this website invites us to have a look at Tim Van Orden on Runningraw.com for inspiration.

    I find it more useful to listen to people like him and all the amazing, incredible people on this website for support and inspiration.

  • By the way, I want to acknowledge you for the extraordinary, courageous person you are for taking on a commitment to care for yourself. Surely, there is no more satisfying and ultimately transforming thing we can do?

    And I am absolutely sure that you, I and all the fantastic people on this website can do it.

  • Bless you. I understand perfectly with family. It takes time to convince them that this IS what you want ! Maybe with your Mum you could make the tea and not put the sugar in. I have been through this with my Auntie who I love very dearly but is constantly wanting me to eat chocolate and cakes etc. I just had to keep politely refusing and eventually she learnt that I wasn't rejecting her but the food. The important thing is for you is for you to feel comfortable with how you look and feel and to stay healthy for your children.

    In the evening could you leave enough calories so you can have an evening snack and still be within your limit for the day. Otherwise give yourself a treat that doesn't include food - like a nice bubble bath and a good book :-).

    Good luck.

  • Being a cake fiend, i have almost cut it altogether, with one exception. That is I treat myself to one piece of mothers home made cake when I visit her once a week, I see her more often than that, but they are non cake visits (for me). It pleases her as she is sharing and me of course, I look forward to it, its my weekly treat. Its just striking the right balance with families without offending, we all know they mean well, so if sugar in tea is a issue with mother have it, but at home use sweetners or go without. Just a suggestion.

  • I think you should eat everything in moderation i found that diet works for me eat less but more Ofton small

  • I am so with you on this one. Everyone around me seems determined to undermine my decision to lose weight, not least my nearest and dearest. I work full time and my desk is situated next to the snack cupboard on which is a bowl full of sweets for everyone to help themselves! I do take in healthy snacks, but sometimes the lure is too much. Fortunately toffees seem to be the sweet of choice at present and I am not too keen on those.

    Mr Tiggy has a habit of having 'supper' at around 9pm, so of course that makes me want something too and it's not always easy taking the healthy option when he is eating crisps and biscuits.

    He also has this annoying habit of coming in on a weekend laden with sweets and chocolates that I wasn't expecting - a treat for the weekend - and I really do love my chocolate!

    However, I have given him an ultimatum as we do want to renew our wedding vows in the not too distant future. But I have told him we are not doing it until I have lost at least 2 stone. So now he has something to work towards too.

    You do need to stand firm and I know it's the difficult option and you will give in from time to time. Just don't beat yourself up if you fall down now and again. You can do it during the day so you know you can do it. I think mentally we sort of relax on an evening and so our willpower diminishes! We know we can do it, we just need to sustain this.

    We are all in the same boat (more or less) and this forum is great for keeping you motivated and giving you good ideas to keep going.

    Good luck.

  • It's really nice to know other people have experienced/ are experiencing the same issues. Thank you all for your words of wisdom, I just need to stay strong :)

  • Every day I wake up on a diet and go to sleep a failure. Sine 2007 I have been good all day then at bedtime after dinner the ice cream, sweets and chips call my name and I cannot resist the calling. If I could just get through that hour and a half it would be so good ! There is nothing I want more right now is to be in a size 12. I had a blood test last week and now I am on mediation for high cholesterol. At the end of this I know EXACTLY how you are feeling.

    Still tomorrow is another day so I hope you get the strength that I have yet to find.

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