for a couple of days or a few i can't remember I'm finding it very difficult to have motivation in working out. Every time i start I'm so tired and its happening when i start working out. I stick to a plan, but for 2 days I couldn't saying you know what il work out today, il do it in few hours and then leave till the next day and then work out. I worked out yesterday and didn't want to which is very unusual to me as its the one thing i can't wait for coz of how it makes me feel and it happened the day before and today, i still do it but I'm slow and it takes ages. I have no motivation even writing this post.
Im not eating well i know that, I'm finding it very difficult to figure out what it is i want to eat, there have been many times I've got lost and don't remember how to work out and what to eat. I keep eating lettuce, cucumber and tomatoes. Im also now going for the not so healthy stuff, I've been so depressed and it started yesterday.
I was given some bad news this is just yesterday so i went for a second opinion and yesterday it was the day of bad news so i found my self wandering around city centre on my own for a good 1-2 hour, then i went to a traditional bakery, brought 4 samosas, a handful of pakoras, i came back back home and in moderation and diet went out of the window, now i feel that my stomach is coming out even more again, bad news i was given hasn't left me but made me mere depressed in the saddest way and I've forgotten how to eat right and what to do right as I'm just making a mess of things. i still have time to work out or i make time, but its tiring to even try but this work out isn't new to me, because I've done it before but i have no motivation and i just don't want to.
i think ok I'm a certain size now so i don't need to work out at all because now i just don't want to but i know I'm a certain size so i need to so i can shrink more. Ive been taking advantage of the tradition selfie and I've been looking at my pictures more becuase i now like how i look in the photos. Ive been using them as an excuse to work out but if i notice some part of my body is bigger such as my STOMACH , my stomach which is a huge problem area and other place but especially my stomach, as well as gaining pounds and those inches I've worked hard to shred, i over think and stress and the sad thing is i don't know how to stress. My friend has told me i suffer from anxiety but its so difficult and i need my stomach to go and don't wha to do with al of this.
i thought i would just add a selfie i had taken not to long ago, as this is not so depressing but also doesn't match the mood I've currently been in. i hope its not to much.