Hi everyone, I have had weight trouble all of my 53 years of life so far. I have lost weight three times in my life so far and I don't just mean a few pounds. The first time I lost 8 1/2 stone when I was 18 (weighed 18.5 stone) and joined weight watchers, however a cautionary note here as I became so obsessed to be the one in class who had lost the most each week that I did it in 8 months and became anorexic !! Weight watchers didn't know this and I was put forward for weight watcher of the year and came in 3rd..lol
The second time I lost five stone was when I met my husband, who's mother said that I was a big girl (20 stone) and I was petrified of losing him...I went the same way as before and not eating...then I lost my mum..and piled on the pounds..
I am a comfort eater, a boredom eater, if fact if I am honest I just love most foods..
Having captured my husbands heart..and settled into a routine.. the pounds have crept on..My husband is active and can eat almost anything he likes without weight gain..ggrrrrr...|eight years ago I weighed 28 stone and was sooo unhappy..!!! I was suffering from depression, arthritis and other complaints that I once again suddenly decided to do something about it and over 2 1/2 years came down to 14 stone on my own diet eating sensibly cutting out fat and excercising mainly swimming..
My husband was delighted by the new me but I remained depressed as I now had loads of horrible lose skin everywhere, despite the swimming, I was embarrassed to swim, couldn't wear clothes to show off my figure so...yes a few pounds on became a few stones..until as some of you will know you usually end up heavier than when you started..Many of you will think that I am stupid and that this could not happen to you..but think of how you yourself diet losing a few pounds..do you give up?? do you put it back on plus a couple of extra pounds..
Well anyway, yes I admit that I am BLOODY STUPID and I went back up to 26 stone..and my poor old body decided that it had had enough of this. I gave myself a hernia..then it became a trapped hernia and I had to have an emergency operation to have it repaired and I came out of surgery with 56 staples across my stomach..my recuperation was long and complicated and I became almost totally inactive..
Then I lost my father..in fact it was me who found my father and I was most disturbed by the fact and the fact that I had to sort out his affairs, revisiting the scene every time I went to his house. I eventually had councelling for bereavement (which helped), but the calories piled on...
THIS IS THE PUNCHLINE...and I am hoping for some sensible support if possible..if not and people want to slate me let this serve as a cautionary tale to others. I am still suffering from depression, chronic arthritis in both of my knees, lower back, wrists, and virtually every joint that has been abused by my own stupid weight. I now have gallstones, a fatty liver, borderline diabetes, high blood pressure and another HUGE HERNIA in my stomach which according to my consultant who saw me this weekend TOLD ME THAT IF IT BECOMES TRAPPED LIKE THE LAST ONE DID I WOULD NOT SURVIVE THE NECESSARY SURGERY TO CORRECT IT.......soooooooo
Today is the first day of my diet..again..I cannot tell you of my weight because my scales do not weigh me but I am sure that I weigh about 30 stone now...last time I was weighed I was about 29 stone and that was some time ago...
I am so ashamed by my size, I am so depressed, I DON'T WANT TO DIE.....